


We're Not Supposed To Be Alive

by ExhaustedRuins



Category: Kpop - Fandom, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Abuse, Anger, Angst, Blood, Child Abuse, Childhood Trauma, Crying, I'm terrible at tagging, Kidnapping, M/M, Mentions Suicide, Not for the faint of heart, Tragedy, University, Violence, cursing, lots of action and suspense, mentions anxiety, mentions depression
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-29
Updated: 2018-01-20
Packaged: 2018-12-08 14:01:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 23
Words: 50,340
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11648025
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ExhaustedRuins/pseuds/ExhaustedRuins
Summary: If Min Yoongi was a more emotional person, perhaps his memories would hurt more to him. If Park Jimin was more fragile like before, perhaps he would have more of a reason to give up. But to the both of them, there’s a reason why both have turned stone cold. One endured a childhood lead through the exact definition of uncanny, gore and the pinching scent of spilled blood to accent his darkest memories. The other endured the exact definition of a possessive and abusive boyfriend who he just barely escaped physically unharmed, but the memories still remain. When these two lives intertwine, they create something neither of them were expecting.There’s just one problem, one dilemma that challenges their fortitude:One of them has been dead for a very long time.





	1. Leather Burns

**Author's Note:**

> Contains depictions of violence and abuse. I decided to make this chapter short so it's easier to transition into the next part. Hope that's not an inconvenience (:

     “Strike him.”

     The basement light was barely bright enough to illuminate his father’s face, but Yoongi knew that his face was that of a serious man. He remembered the way his wrinkles would crease the skin on his forehead. The whites of his eyes would turn a shady black, much like his pupils, and would glare into the soles of his mind without even a single glisten of light in them. He remembered his father’s thin lips straightening into a tense line as he was holding out his snake whip, or as he preferred to call it, his “third arm.” The whip leather glistened in the light as it escaped his shadow. He was holding it by the handle, but it was turned towards Yoongi so that he could grab it. The sight made him almost want to vomit, but then he thought about his brother. He looked towards the hunched figure with black sweaty hair and nothing but a pair of pants to cover his body. His skinny body so deprived of muscle and fat that he looked like a living corpse, he was so pale that his skin looked like a mixture of pure milk and freckles that spotted along his shoulders.

     He could hear his intense breathing, sighing in and out, ready for whatever was gonna hit him next, but Yoongi hesitated. He looked at his father, clearly uncertain as to what to do, wishing his mother were there, and turning dials in his head that wouldn’t stay in place. His father sighed and grasped the whip in his hand, holding it steadily at his side as if he was born to hold it, and seemed almost calm for a moment. “Punish him, son, or I’ll strike you both twice as much.” Yoongi’s hands were shaking. He could feel his father’s eyes on him, the pain in his heart from all of his father’s harsh words, the stinging on his lip from when his father punched him, the burning in his mind from all of the dial-turning, and the sweat from his palms covering his fingertips every time he clenched his fists. He felt a tear building up in his eye, but he knew his options were clear.

     He could’ve either continued to sit silently and endured another set of lashings, taken the whip and struck his brother a few times as his father watched, or he could’ve taken control. Done something his father would’ve never expected from his own son, who for years has been weak compared to him, but over time built a tolerance and immunity to his fiery. His eyes burned with a familiar rage, the same one he felt when he saw his father hit his mother, when he saw him stumbling down the hall towards his sister’s room in the middle of the night, and most especially when he pinned his mother against the livingroom wall and heard her whimpers and screams as he…. He hadn’t realized that he had stood up and now his legs that were once wobbly and weak were steady and strong. It was like every bone and muscle in his body was suddenly pulsing with energy and now all he could think about was his rage. His ears felt hot and he could hear the pulsing in his head. His heart was beating faster and he tried his best to hide it.

     His father extended his hand to lend him the whip, a smug smirk shattering his serious mask and revealing his more villainous side. Yoongi’s hands stopped shaking, his hand subconsciously reached out for the handle of the whip, and his left hand bawled into a fist, but he kept it steady. The leather felt warm against his skin from his father’s touch as he wrapped his fist around it. His father let go of the whip, watching as his son examined it, and his smirk turned into a smile which turned into a grin. The leather rubbed against his skin slightly, his knuckles pressing against it as a million thoughts raced through his head. His anger wasn’t his first thought now. Instead, it was his brother. He thought of how terrified his brother was of his father and how he had just endured his father’s abuse for years. He used to watch him taking off his shirt sometimes and trace his eyes along the deep bruises that seemed to spot his back like freckles. He used to spend hours icing his bruises and torn muscles and disinfecting his cuts. What scared him the most about it wasn’t just the wounds though, it was the face his brother would pull after it’s over.

     “See?” he would say, a grin forced feebly through his bloody lips, “I’m fine.” Yoongi argued at first, but he gave up sooner or later. He couldn’t stand hearing those words anymore. It was like drinking six cans of beer and then telling someone that you’re not drunk despite how slurred and uncertain it sounds. He couldn’t take it anymore. He wanted to hurt him. He wanted to make him feel everything he and his brother felt. He wanted to hear him whimper like his mom did every time he rubbed his disgusting body against hers, hear him scream like his sister did every time he stumbled into her bedroom, see him curl into a ball on the floor in agony the way his brother did every time he beat him. He wanted him to see what he saw and feel what he felt. He turned towards his brother, hot blood rushing up the back of his neck, pinching his ears and spreading across his thoughts like wildfire, and he looked at him. His brother craned his neck to see him, his eyes twinkling with fear in the dim light, his breathing heavy, his back uncomfortably exposed and he could see what Yoongi intended to do. He mouthed something to him, something he knew his father would never understand, and those words were all he thought about while he threw himself into a fit of his own rage.

      _‘You were right.’_

      _Crack!_  

      Again.

_Crack!_

     And again.

_Crack!_

     Just a few more.

_Crack!_ _Crack! Crack!_

     The dials stopped turning and he let his body take over.

_Crack! Crack! Crack! Crack! Crack!_

     The tinge of blood pinched his nose and crept about the room, small splatters hitting his face and clothes, but his blood still boiled. His arm ached and the sound was deafening, but he loved it. He loved the sounds his father made as he struck him down, pinning him to the ground the way he did to his mother, striking him harshly the way he did to them, and he felt a roar escape his throat as he watched his father’s body tense at every touch before limping and growing still as his eyes stared lifeless at the wall. Yoongi was now covered in blood, breathing heavily, feeling the ache and the exhaustion, his hair clinging to his forehead, the sweat dripping down his face, but one thing was for sure:

     He had never felt so good.


	2. Letting Go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jimin's POV

 

Jimin’s oversized sweatshirt clung to his torso as sweat offered him a third layer of clothing beneath his already soaked layers. He was panting, the adrenaline still having difficulty leaving his system. His black hair clung to his forehead like seaweed, the air stung his throat, his heart beat harder and faster than he thought hearts could, and his knees were bruised from practicing a new dance move. He felt like collapsing onto the floor, his sweatshirt becoming a hazard, so he pulled it over his head and threw it to the ground, revealing his muscular arms and upper chest for no one to see.

 

He could feel his tank top hugging his abs as the sweat soaked through them like water and toilet paper. He sighed in exhaustion, feeling a pulsing headache breaking through his skull, and he felt like he could barely keep his eyes open. He had been dancing for hours in front of the mirror, trying to get the moves just right, but he’s only nailed it two or three times. He could barely stand up from all of the overexertion and his sweatpants felt like trash bags, but the effort was well worth it. He felt ready to keep trying after taking some time to hydrate, shower, and rest, but he knew that he had barely eaten all day.

 

That didn’t matter to him though. He would just pick up something to eat before going to bed. He decided to call it a day and collapsed onto the floor, feeling the cold tile make contact with his bare skin, cooling him off better than any AC could. He spent a little while checking his phone and trying to regain his breath. He looked through his messages to find one recently sent to him by Jungguk that he was too busy dancing to check.

 

‘I forgot my earbuds in your dorm room and the door’s locked. Could you grab them for me before you go to sleep? Thanks.’

 

_Great._

 

Another task he had to tackle while painfully trying to keep his eyes propped open.

 

_Would today never end?_

 

Jimin groaned quietly. With great effort, he lifted himself off of the floor and made his way toward the shower room where he took a brisk shower, changed into a clean pair of clothes and started walking toward the back exit. The fresh air felt so good as he heaved it in, the scent of the city lingering around him. He slipped his car keys out of his jeans and unlocked his car doors before climbing in. The smell of his new car felt reviving as he drove through the quiet portion of the city. He watched the tiny lights from apartment building windows whiz by, creating the illusion of there being large twinkling stars so close to the ground.

 

The time was 11:00 PM, far too late to be leaving the studio since the studio closed at 11:00. Jimin let his mind slump into a daydream as he drove, making sure to keep himself awake so he didn’t have a collision. He thought about his ex-boyfriend, still lodging in his apartment complex somewhere down the road from the red light he had to stop at. He looked beyond the traffic to spot his apartment, a light glowing from one of its windows, creating an addition to the sea of glowing stars as he passed by. He tried to ignore the thoughts in his head as he remembered what they both went through, but they were too vivid.

 

Too new.

 

Memories of his tattoos and varying hair colors and his long drags from his cigarettes. The way he wore tank tops just because Jimin liked seeing his tattooed biceps, the way he would throw his textbooks on the coffee table and neglect them, and the way he looked at him after they’d share a passionate kiss still fresh in his mind. He wished he hadn’t thought of that because now he was starting to think that maybe he regretted leaving. He was beginning to think that maybe he should’ve gone back and begged for forgiveness, but time flew for the both of them a little too quickly and it was summer now -months away from any given chances.

 

He sighed against the warm air and leaned back against the car seat.

 

_Just let it go._

  
  


Jimin entered his dorm with the immediate remembrance of Jungguk’s text.

 

“ _Fuck!_ ” He swore under his breath. He muffled his hair with his small hands, still slightly damp from his shower, and shuffled towards his desk to fetch Jungguk’s earbuds. He held them in a tight ball in his fist and exited his dorm. The dormitory was eerily dark at night, especially with all of the exhausted scholars trying to catch up on some Zs around exam season. Jimin became kind of an insomniac lately, having to wake up early for his morning classes and then spend hours working on music and dance and of course, keeping up with his social media.

 

The hallway was almost pitch dark, with nothing but the glowing exit sign at the end of the hallway to provide him light, but Jimin mustered up his courage and paced down the hallway in blindness.

 

_Man the fuck up._

 

He knocked twice before hearing a muffled and obviously tired Jungguk reply. He grasped the knob, too tired to think about what to say, so he didn’t say anything at all and just opened the door, temporarily blinded by his fellow student’s lamp light, before throwing his earbuds on the mattress beside the door and closing it. He heard a muffled “Thanks” from behind the door and took that as his cue to get out of there, so he more than gladly power-walked down the hallway and into his room.

 

He closed the door behind him, drank from the water bottle on his desk that had been sitting there since that morning, then threw himself onto his mattress, not even bothering to take off his shoes.

  
_If I hadn’t left_ , he hesitates to continue his thoughts, but then carelessly continues, _he_ _would’ve done that for me._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've noticed that this ff gets less than the rest of my works, which is disappointing since I've put a lot of dedication into this one. If you could please share this, it would be very much appreciated. Thank you (:


	3. No Pay, No Play

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They both needed the money and he needed the info,
> 
> So guess who spilled the beans?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter mostly focuses on Taehyung, but you'll see more of Yoongi soon (:

“Are you ever gonna stop smoking?” Taehyung grimaced, wearing his disgust like it’s a white dress at a funeral. Yoongi felt the corners of his mouth turn up at the question, already thinking of his answer. Taehyung always hated his smoking and he would laugh every time he puffed a cloud of smoke into his roommate’s face and watched as he defensively recoiled. Yoongi took another long drag from his cigarette, the taste of his favorite drug grazing his tongue and pressing against his lips. He gathered as much smoke as he could in his cheeks before turning his head to Taehyung and blowing one right in his face.

 

He smiled as he watched Taehyung cough and squint his eyes shut, trying to shoo away the poisonous smoke, and that’s all he needed to make his answer clear. Taehyung was close to swearing when he stopped himself and simply took a step away from Yoongi, clearly not in the mood to heave in another cloud of his smoke. They were standing in front of a cafe, waiting to see if the rain would stop. It was early morning, around 6:00 AM, way too early to be out and about, but they both knew that business was business. They were gonna meet up with a fellow classmate for an exchange..

 

The kid wanted information about another classmate, mostly personal stuff, and Yoongi and Taehyung needed the money. Taehyung was in a band and they played gigs at a nearby restaurant, but it wasn’t enough to pay his tuition fee, so he resorted to sticking by Yoongi’s work whenever he had time. It was still raining cats and dogs and they had been waiting for ten minutes. They had taken shelter underneath the cafe roof and one of the waitresses had offered for them to come inside, but both turned down the offer despite how wet and freezing it was.

 

They weren’t about to make this deal in front of a cafe full of people. They needed someplace secluded. Yoongi knew just the place and he knew what he would do if the student didn’t pay him. It had happened twice where he would make a deal, but the client would grab the cash as soon as he sees it and make a run for it. That was before Taehyung decided to team up with him though, so now if anyone tries, he would grab them and knock some sense into them.

 

And by knock, I mean more like _slam._

 

The rain was blinding and loud, but Yoongi immediately recognized the student wearing a black hockey shirt, black jeans, and unzipped hoodie. His Nikes soaked with rain as he splashed toward them as cautiously as he could. Yoongi may not have looked like it at first, but he could break his neck effortlessly if the kid didn’t watch himself. He threw his cigarette on the ground, crushing it lightly with his foot, and waited for them to all be sheltered from the rain. The kid approached them, Taehyung sending him a sharp glare, and he stood beside Yoongi.

 

He took off his hood and ruffled his hair with his free hand, his other busily grasping something in his pocket. They all knew what it was the moment he came into view. The air had a hint of petrichor as they all stood quietly for a moment, the thought of going home beginning to cloud up Yoongi’s mind. Before the student could even speak, Yoongi wanted to make sure of something. He had been running his little business for two years, but he had dealt with students seeking his help before and he knew what the kid was thinking. He just had to be sure.

 

“Show it to us first, then we’ll talk.” Taehyung was a bit surprised by the harsh tone of his roommate’s voice. He shot him a startled look at first, but looked away so the younger student wouldn’t notice. Whatever business he had in the past with students, he knew that Yoongi wasn’t gonna mess this up. He was completely serious. One wrong move and there goes that pizza face. The dude would end up with more bruises than acne. Yoongi on the other hand, had a pretty kept appearance aside from his hair. He wore a black denim jacket with a striped shirt underneath, black jeans, and black boots. His hair was a dyed minty green, damaged beyond repair from dyeing it too often, and it jutted out in all sorts of awkward angles.

 

Taehyung was even more kept though, his brown hair straight and soft while remaining the only person wearing a coat and long-sleeve shirt. The student didn’t hesitate to lean in and pull out a few hundred dollar bills from his pocket, sparking shock in Yoongi’s eyes. In all of his experience, he’s never seen a student pay so much for a little bit of information. The kid must’ve been rich, if not then careless. He searched the two roommate’s expressions for approval and was immediately rewarded with an inviting nod. Taehyung waved his hand, turning towards the sidewalk and preparing to possibly get soaked by the rain.

 

They really should’ve checked the weather before deciding on the place and time, but it was too late now. Yoongi knew much more about this business than he did and he didn’t want to mess this up for the both of them. This and he had his college tuition fee on the line. If there was no pay, there was no play. Yoongi waited for the student to follow behind Taehyung before turning and glaring at the student’s small back. He wasn’t very lean and definitely didn’t look like the type to plan on tricking them into anything, which made Yoongi feel a little more at ease, but he wasn’t about to turn a blind eye. He had his eyes tied to this kid.

 

They made their way down the sidewalk, watching each other to see if anyone would make a move, but they maneuvered silently. Every step felt like a commitment to Taehyung, but to Yoongi it felt like air. It was Taehyung’s first time dealing with anything that involved actually coming face-to-face with the stranger at hand, but he was the one who gathered most of the information so he had to take SOME credit. Now here he was, in the flesh, resisting so much as the thought of glancing back. He had to appear tough, so he kept his eyes forward and power-walked all the way to the nearest alleyway.

 

Both of them knew more than anyone else about the kind of shady stuff that happened in alleyways. They could only hope that this kid didn’t.

 

“So, whatcha got?” the student spoke before either of them could utter a syllable. Yoongi didn’t hesitate to nod towards Taehyung, who was holding the files and notes he collected over the last week in his hand. Taehyung let his mouth and hands take control as he began explaining his “research.”

 

“The person you asked about, Kang Jinsong, he’s nineteen years old, lived in Incheon, but moved to Seoul a year ago to attend university. He has a younger brother named Kang Jiwoo who’s fourteen and attends high school in Incheon, his mother is-”

 

“I don’t care about the formalities. I need to know what you noticed about his routine, his relationships, his health, things of vital importance!” the student interrupted. Taehyung paused, his square jaw clenching, before eyeing Yoongi. He received a simple nod in response.

 

_This kid really meant business…_

 

Taehyung cleared his throat and decided to start out with his notes from the first day when he observed his social activities. He pulled out the thin piece of paper from his other hand and reversed its position so the student could read it. His handwriting wasn’t the best, but it was intelligible at the very least.

 

“He has a close relationship with a girl named Lee Eunkyung, a girl who works at the electronics store on the other side of the city. From what I saw, it looked like they were a bit flirty. I asked some of his other friends and they told me that he’s had a one-sided crush on her for over four years, but never once asked her out.” Yoongi seemed slightly impressed by the information, though only expressed it through an arched eyebrow.

 

The kid examined the notes thoroughly as though he was looking over a graded school assignment. His brow became knit.

 

“Does she know about it?” He looked up from the paper, expecting a direct answer, but Taehyung shook his head.

 

“It doesn’t look like it, but I can’t be entirely sure. From what I observed, she didn’t seem to have much of an interest in him.” He replied, trying to sound as nonchalant as possible.

 

“Does he have any secrets?” Yoongi knew where this was going. It sounded like he was trying to dig out some kind of dirty secret from this guy so he could use it to destroy the relationship he had with this girl.

 

_Classic._

 

Taehyung pulled out some documents from under his arm, making sure to let the student look them over first before saying anything. The student took the paper as if his fingers were drawn to them by a magnetic force and scanned it with his eyes. After a moment of nothing but the pittering of the wet rain against the pavement, his eyes grew wide. Taehyung knew exactly what he had just read and he couldn’t hold back the grin that was forming on his face. He loved seeing other people realize some kind of big and shocking secret. He felt evil for it.

 

“He was suspected of murder?”

  
_Aaand his tuition fee felt like it had already been paid._


	4. Lightning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jimin goes about his usual day and decides to eat dinner at the cafe.
> 
> As it turns out, Yoongi had the same idea.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a little longer than the rest so far because it took me a while to bring the chapter to a good conclusion, so enjoy!
> 
> (Namjoon isn't mentioned much so far, so I'll try and include him a little more later on.)

Every morning, it was always the same thing. Jimin’s alarm clock would blare throughout the room, Jimin would squint at the intense light coming from his dorm room window and he would slam his hand down on the snooze button. He would pull off his clothes before taking a quick morning shower, grabbing his towel, then going through his daily facial routine. He may not have been a professional when it came to beauty products, but Jimin liked to keep his face fresh. He would pat on some moisturizer and make sure he doesn’t start sprouting out a beard. 

 

He would then change into some comfortable clothes, preferably something to make him look nice but not in any way snazzy. He would then have a two-minute wrestling match with his damp hair before deciding on the usual style and grabbing his jacket. Autumn was beginning to threaten the summer skies and the wind was beginning to pick up. Jimin actually felt a chill run down his spine as he picked up his books. Was he going to have to fiddle with the thermostat? He decided on finding some of his long-forgotten packed blankets once he got back from work because fuck that. He had to save electricity.

 

There was a draft coming from down the hallway.  _ Someone _ left their window open overnight and forgot to close it, along with their door. The doors usually closed on their own, but Jungguk’s was broken, so sometimes he would leave it open and forget to close it before he left. Jungguk started work at seven, then he had classes from eleven until two. After that, he was pretty much free to do whatever he wanted. Sometimes, he and Jimin would chill out at the cafe or in Jungguk’s dorm room and sing songs together.

 

Other times, Jimin would go straight from his classes to the studio. The studio that he spent the majority of his time at was both a dance studio and a music studio. He would dance, write music, record music, and he even performed them sometimes, but he was too busy with university to make any real career out of it, so he just used it as leverage. Jungguk had similar dreams though. He too liked dancing and singing and composing, but his music was a little different from Jimin’s. They even made a few songs together and recorded one or two.

 

They had their own YouTube accounts where they would just make covers or upload some of their own recordings, but it wasn’t enough for them to gain much cash. Jimin made his way down the hall to be a good neighbor and close Jungguk’s door. Jungguk shared a room with Kim Namjoon, another student, only he was older and was more into rap rather than singing. Jimin had met him a couple of times and he was cool, so he didn’t feel too shy when he sent him a quick ‘sup’ before closing the door. 

 

Jimin, on the other hand, had a dorm all to himself since there was an odd number of students attending the university. It wasn’t lonely though since he had his best friend living just down the hall. The drinking parties he would hear at night weren’t a very good contributing factor though. Still exhausted and barely awake, Jimin walked out of the dormitory with his bag slouched over his shoulder and his left hand in his jean pocket. He wore a turtleneck and blue jeans. His boots crushed gravel as he made his way towards the building opposite to the men’s dormitory. 

 

The cool air soon turned into rain that pounded hard on his head, so he had to run to take shelter beneath the university roof. Now soaking wet and trying his best to stop himself from shaking, he sat down at a desk and took out his books, the classroom empty due to being half an hour early. The studying turned into a napping session and the napping session into a pool of drool on his anatomy book. His classmate had to shake him awake before he could even realize that he was completely shit-faced and he wasn’t even drunk.

 

Just another tiring day.

  
  
  
  
  


Another four hours of classes, two hours of dance practice, one hour of lunch and chilling out, then five hours of work before dinner. Jimin felt hungry, but all he had the appetite to eat for dinner was the cafe food, which consisted mostly of soup and bread. As Jimin finished up his meal, he began gazing out the window. It had been pouring nonstop all day. The sky cried rivers down the window beside him. The water droplets shimmered in the evening light. The rain made everything look so sad as though the world was crying. The people travelling with their umbrellas and boots made autumn seem even farther away.

 

It felt like autumn would never come. To Jimin, summer felt like a long line of fire that he had to power through. The sweat during dance practice, the unbearable heat that cursed the classrooms, and not to mention the storms. Sometimes, Jimin would sit at his dorm window and watch the lightning flash across the sky. He would just sit there, the lights flicked off, and his hands covering his ears so he could just watch. For some reason, lightning was the only good thing about summer. He loved the way it would reach across the clouds like an arm reaching out.

 

His mother used to tell him that it was god reaching out to punish his defilers, but Jimin never believed that. His mom was always extremely religious, but he personally didn’t like thinking about it that way. He imagined the lightning to be a playful child trying to put on a show, shouting for someone to look at them and admire them. Jimin used to be the same. He used to feel so alone and neglected, so watching the lightning calmed him. It made him feel like he wasn’t the only one shouting for someone to notice him, admire him, idolize him.

 

He watched the thin flashes of bright light fill the sky and watched the rain pound against the outside world. He felt warm, tucked in the cafe, safe from the monster outside. He knew he couldn’t stay forever though and he had to go back to the studio soon to finish up some choreography and then head to his dorm to browse the internet for a few hours before falling asleep. He grabbed his bag and stood up, ready to leave the cafe and suffer through the cold rain, when he caught sight of a flash of color.

 

Mint green. It appeared in the corner of his eye and he hadn’t really thought anything of it until now, but now it seemed almost... _ vivified. _

 

He turned his head to see that the color was in fact, dyed hair, and that hair belonged to the most beautiful man he had ever seen. The boy’s face was illuminated by his laptop screen, his fingers tapping away at the worn out keyboard, but everything about him was just so perfect. His hair was messy, but it made him look even sexier. His skin was rosy pale, so clear and flawless, his eyes small and brown, his jaw making him look slightly cute due to it’s soft but also outlined shape, and his lips.

 

_ Oh god _ , his lips. They nearly made Jimin’s knees unbuckle. He hadn’t been this attracted to another man in years and for him, that was a homecoming. He forced his eyes to wander away, trying not to make it obvious that he checking his guy out, but he couldn’t help himself from sneaking a second glance before turning towards the exit.

 

“Wait! You with the turtleneck!” The voice from behind him was scruffy, but warm. How could a voice be warm? Was it because it made Jimin feel a sense of inexplicable comfort? He couldn’t tell, but just the curiosity was enough to make him turn his head back at the boy he dead-ass scanned just a moment ago. The boy’s face, still lit by his monitor, now had it’s two brown eyes set on him. He had moved so he wasn’t leaning against the back of the seat anymore and was now leaning towards his laptop.

 

He had his leg out, about to make a run for Jimin if he had stepped out the door, but luckily, both of them were stationary. Jimin caught a sneak peek at the boy’s leg and legitimately felt like slapping himself for it. The last time he let himself get drawn to someone, that person hurt him deep enough for him to swear off relationships, but seeing this boy, hearing his voice, it made him think that maybe he could give him a shot.

 

Even if he was the perfect bait for trouble. 

 

“Can you hold that pose for me?”

 

“What?”

 

Before Jimin could get a reply, the boy pulled a camera out from his bag and snapped a picture of him. A drizzle of blush beamed across Jimin’s face. It had been a while since anyone took a picture of him and it felt even more awkward to be photographed by a complete stranger. Out of everyone who walked out of the cafe before him, the boy only photographed Jimin. He felt both flattered and embarrassed. He never really thought of himself as a model, but seeing as how the boy captured him so desperately, suddenly Jimin felt self-conscious about his appearance.

 

Was his hair too messy? Did he have something in his teeth? Were his clothes alright? Did he smell alright? The boy put the camera back in his bag as Jimin remained frozen in place, still dazed by the sudden attention, and looked back up at him.

 

His face made Jimin melt every time it turned towards him. The feeling was still so new to him. He had been away from his ex for so long that he had forgotten what it was like to feel such an attraction towards another human being. It made him want to run away.

 

“Sorry. You’re a student right? What’s your name?” The boy continued to speak, every word sounding like an omen to Jimin. Jimin never felt shy when Jungguk introduced him to his friends. He wasn’t even shy when he was introduced to beautiful girls, but as he replied, his voice wavered and his mind was going nuts. It was like someone had set off the alarms in his head and the words came out more like alphabet soup rather than structured korean.

 

“P-Park Jimin. W-what about you?” He barely even squeaked out. 

 

_ Wow. _

 

Jimin, the king of stuttering.

 

“Min Yoongi. Thanks for letting me take your picture. Don’t worry. I won’t put it in my portfolio, unless you want me to.” Jimin couldn’t help but stand there like an idiot, taking in the sight of this breathtakingly beautiful boy talking to him. He knew that Min Yoongi was a charm for trouble, his ear piercings and bad boy clothes making it pretty obvious, but Jimin couldn’t bring himself to leave his spot. He wanted to capture the moment forever, but he was no photographer like Yoongi.

 

He was just a city boy with a passion for the arts.

 

“It’s alright. Y-you can use it if you want. I just...haven’t been photographed in a while. Are you a student too?” Jimin stood opposite from Yoongi, trying to look chill even while his brain was going completely bonkers. He leaned against the seat across from him and decided to start up a bit of some small talk while he was at it. Maybe he would find something unattractive about Yoongi that would make him turn away and continue to swear off relationships, but the more he looked at him, the more perfect he seemed.

 

“I’m in my third year and I’m surprised...I mean...you look like you belong in a magazine. Just sayin’.” Yoongi’s words made Jimin shudder and blush. _ A magazine? Did he just call him attractive? _

 

“I’m in my second year...and...thanks. So, are you a photographer or something?”

 

Yoongi shrugged.

 

“It’s more like a hobby rather than a profession.”

 

“Oh.” They were plunged into silence. It was slightly awkward and Jimin knew it was because he wasn’t sure as to what else he could say. The words would form perfectly in his mind, but every time he moved his lips to say it, they came out as mouthed ‘So’s and ‘Um’s.

 

“Aren’t you one of those dance groupies?” Jimin felt the need to cringe at the word ‘groupies’ but that is how everyone called them. Most of them were just people chasing after dreams that were unlikely for them. Jimin felt the same, but he did everything he could to make sure that his chances didn’t die. He would perform and sing every chance he got, so the labels weren’t going to stop him.

 

“Yep. What are you at university for?”

 

“Music.” Jimin felt a shiver shoot straight up his spine. He had more in common with this man than he thought. They both liked music and they were both in university. They were even both wearing blue jeans. How strange is that? He suddenly noticed all of these similarities between them even though he had just met him. 

 

“What instruments do you play?”

 

Yoongi hummed for a moment, rattling Jimin’s brain even more.

 

“Mostly piano. I like working with different sounds. I rap too. Do you just dance or are you a two-in-one package too?”  _ A rapper and a pianist?  _ Jimin imagined Yoongi behind a microphone spitting fire with his voice. He imagined him sitting at a grand piano, his slim fingers stroking at the keys as he played a gentle melody, the notes slipping through the gaps between his fingers like waves.

 

Jimin shuddered at his own imagination. Just the thought of it made him lick his lips.

 

_ What the fuck? Why was this man so fucking attractive even after some small talk? _

 

“I-I sing and compose a little bit of my own music. I spend a lot of my time in the studio so…” Jimin watched as Yoongi took this opportunity to process the new information like a fax machine. He knew that he could’ve never guessed that Jimin could actually sing. He probably thought he was just another ordinary dance student whose life revolved around dancing, but he had judged a book by its cover. It was really a two-in-one package.

 

“Really? You mean the studio that’s on campus?” Jimin was surprised that someone even asked him that. Was there another studio nearby?

 

“Y-yeah?” Yoongi turned towards him, a little more engaged in the conversation now, and just stared at Jimin for a moment before realizing exactly what kind of exchange they were having just then.

 

“I go there all the time! How come I never see you there?”

 

And the conversation just kicked off from there.


	5. A Dark Pleasure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is kind of short, but I've finally decided to include Jin! Enjoy!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some of the places mentioned in this chapter are real, but know that most events that take place in this story are fictional, so please don't take it seriously. Thank you (:

“Wait. What did he look like again?” Jin was sitting next to Yoongi at his desk, balancing on a yoga ball as he watched him type away. While Yoongi was trying to do some research on Kang Jinsong (the person the student from that morning wanted info on), Jin was listening to him talk about the boy he met at the cafe only about two hours ago. Yoongi sighed as he repeated what he had told him.

 

“Black hair, totally ripped, turtleneck, the softest skin I’ve ever seen-”

 

“It sounds like you were checking him out.” Yoongi paused to scoff. He let go of the countless descriptions he had in his head and decided to try and reassure himself that it wasn’t anything special. But it was something. Maybe not sparkly special, but something about seemed memorable enough to make him replay the conversation a few times in his head. 

 

“Why are you so interested anyway? If you wanna date so badly, go find him and stop pestering me about it.” Yoongi knew he didn’t mean it. He didn’t know entirely why, but he felt competitive with Jin at that moment; As though he desperately didn’t want to let the boy he had just met two hours ago fall into the hands of someone else. It made Yoongi want to slap himself.

 

“He sounds nice, but I’ve already found someone…” Both of them stopped whatever they were doing and looked at each other, making it obvious that both were expecting a reaction from one another. This wasn’t the first time Jin had a crush on someone, so neither of them took very long to react.

 

“Who is it?”

 

“Kim Namjoon.”

 

Yoongi nearly toppled out of his chair. He never would’ve thought that Jin would go for the rapper who surprisingly had perfect grades and who, as far as anyone knew, was pretty much straight. He had seen him a few times in the recording studio, most likely recording his own mixtape or something along those lines, but he never formally met him. 

 

“Why are you so surprised?” Jin asked, eyes wider than before. Yoongi wasn’t sure where to start. Would it be the fact that he’s the nerdy rapper type or the fact that he’s most likely straight? For the sake of his friend, probably neither...for now.

 

“Nothing. I just never imagined that you’d be into him of all people.” Yoongi continued looking up information, mostly just scrolling through the same document over and over again. You’d be amazed at what you could find online about someone’s personal life.

 

Line chats, instagram accounts, twitter accounts…

 

None of them pointing towards a possible murder, but some could easily be manipulated to look like signs of a killer-in-the-making.

 

“Well, he may not be in my league, but I heard him rap once. I’ve never seen someone rap and look so hot doing it!”

 

“Thanks.”

 

Jin laughed and turned to Yoongi. “I didn’t mean it like that, but you’re welcome!” Neither of them spoke for a moment. Yoongi began to analyze Kang Jinsong’s social networking behavior. Taehyung wasn’t kidding when he said that he clung to his one-sided love for Lee Eunkyung. He found a few pictures of them together that were posted on his instagram where pretty much everyone aside from the both of them were partially (if not, entirely) cropped out of the picture. He even found a few chats between the two of them where he would ask her to go to certain events with her.

 

One of these events, however, caught Yoongi’s eye above all others. 

 

“Holy shit! Club MUTE?” Yoongi exclaimed out loud, surprised by how raised his voice was. He lowered his excitement so he could continue looking through the conversation, making sure to note every detail he could possibly find that would be of vital importance. Jin began scrambling for answers as well, trying to figure out what Yoongi was even hinting at.

 

“He went to a nightclub so wha- OH!” Jin’s mouth grew round and his eyes looked like they were about to pop out of his head. Now they were both on the same page.

 

Kang Jinsong went to a nightclub...underaged. He must’ve had a lot of gut to enter a nightclub such as Club MUTE though. Even just staying for a few minutes with a fake ID can get you caught, which meant that either he was really good at looking and acting older or he didn’t stay for very long. Jin leaned in so close to Yoongi that he could smell his breath, which made Yoongi feel slightly uncomfortable, but he kept his hands on his keyboard as he continued scrolling.

 

This kid really looked like trouble. Lee Eunkyung replied to the request with a lot of excitement...it seemed. She was willing to go into a bar despite being underaged with another underaged student. Something about it was fishy and Yoongi soon realized exactly why when he looked up the address.

 

“It’s not far from Alt Swiss Chalet. Do you think-” Yoongi began, but Jin was so engaged in the investigation that he interrupted.

 

“Check the date.” Yoongi complied and scanned the screen for a date.

 

“This was-”

 

“Three weeks ago.” The two boys eyed each other, unsure as to how they were supposed to process this new information.

 

“The same night Eunbi Cheol was violently murdered.” Yoongi felt a smile beginning to spread across his face, the dark pleasure of finding juicy information soaking throughout his whole body. He felt the familiar feeling of imagining a bloody murder, crescent red splatters decorating the clothes of a young university student, spilling out of an innocent woman as she desperately screams for mercy, but no one would help her. As long as no one knew, the murderer would smile and act like it never happened.

 

Just like what he did to his father.


	6. A Monster Like Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jimin thinks that he isn't meant to belong to anyone while Yoongi believes that he's not supposed to belong to anyone.

“Have you talked to him?” Jungguk was sitting adjacent to Jimin, his body slumped onto the desk chair. Jimin hadn’t recalled the last time he spoke to his ex-boyfriend. Was it months ago? Could it have been a year already? He didn’t know, but the thought of speaking to him still sent shivers up his neck. It made the hairs on his forearm stand and his pulse eradicate. 

 

_ If only I hadn’t fucking met him. _

 

“No. Why would I even want to talk with him after all that happened?” Jimin wasn’t sure whether his tone was angry or just plain questioning. If he hadn’t had Jungguk to give him a bit of advice every now and then, he probably would’ve completely forgotten who he was with how much he had changed. It was as though he was slowly regaining himself, but parts of him were stuck in a loop.

 

There was no way out. He had to know how he truly felt.

 

“I don’t know. Do you miss him?” Those words threatened a disastrous hurricane in Jimin’s sea of thoughts. He didn’t know. How could he not know? Sure, he thought about his ex-boyfriend sometimes, but he never once thought about crawling back to him or forgetting that it ever happened and taking him back. He had always thought that it was over and nothing could change his stubborn mind about it, but now he wasn’t so sure.

 

He wanted someone to take care of him when he’s sick, sober him up when he’s drunk, laugh with him when he’s stressed and hold him when he’s too tired to even bother standing up. He just didn’t know who and if it could ever happen again. Why was he so sad and obsessed over the feeling of knowing that someone loved him? His father left when he was only a few months old and his mother was always stone cold to him his entire life, so why did it matter? He was used to the space and silence, never the warmth and heartbeats. 

 

He had just met someone extraordinary, Min Yoongi, but he didn’t know anything about him. What if Jimin was meant to be alone in this world?

 

_ Could anyone actually fall in love with a monster like me? _

 

“No. I don’t think so. I don’t know. I just want someone who isn’t like him. He was so nice and warm at first until a few months later, he became a full-time asshole and started getting possessive. He wouldn’t stop calling and texting me for a month!” Jimin sighed and rested his forehead against his desk, trying desperately not to think about Yoongi’s leg as he looked down at his own. “Maybe I don’t belong with anyone.” Jungguk made circles on Jimin’s back with his hand, trying to give him a sense of reassurance.

 

His only real friend.

 

“Not everyone is like your ex, Jimin. I know you like that Min guy, so don’t rush it. He sounds like someone who deserves a shot and you deserve better.” A warmth began to fill Jimin’s heart again, a warmth of a close friend, someone he could rely on. He lifted his head off of the desk and slid back into his chair, breathing a heavy sigh and staring at absolute nothing.

 

“Maybe you’re right. I mean….he does seem….”

 

“Hot? Intelligent? Funny?” They both paused.

 

“Sober.” They both bursted out laughing, despite the depth of Jimin’s words. He meant it. He remembered all of those times his ex would walk into his dorm drunk. Sometimes, high too, but it always made Jimin furious and disappointed. He wasn’t going to deal with that bullshit again, so he might as well find someone better.

 

_ Someone who can fall in love with a monster like me. _

  
  
  
  
  


It began to rain that night. Yoongi sat been sitting at his desk for hours trying to figure out as much information about Kang Jinsong to see if there was any connection between him and Eunbi Cheol, but there were none. Not even so much as a friend request or mention. He was stumped and decided to leave the rest to Taehyung. Yoongi was usually the one to actually go out and do the dirty work, but he was already too tired to function and needed to get back to his dorm room, so he texted Taehyung to tell him to take care of the rest. It was already 11:00 PM and all he could think about was laying down on his bed and sinking into the mattress.

 

He rubbed his eyes and combed his fingers through his hair, tangled and sticking out at awkward angles. He closed his laptop, still adjusting to the lighting of the room from spending too much time in front of his computer screen, and grabbed his cord before exiting Jin’s dorm. Jin had fallen asleep on the bed and he didn’t wanna wake him, so Yoongi quickly and silently tip-toed out of the room. The hallway was dark as usual aside from a thin stream of light coming from the end of the hall.

 

_ Probably Taehyung. _

 

He made his way down the hall, making sure not to drop his laptop on his way there, and as he was about to enter his dorm room, he saw something out of the corner of his eye. He turned his head towards the figure, thinking that it might be Jungguk looking to borrow his camera again, but he instead found a shorter man wearing a baggy tank top and sweatpants. He had black hair and- 

 

_ Fuck. Wait, what? _

 

There, standing in the shadows, looking at him with wide eyes and his whole body frozen in shock, was Park Jimin.

 

_ What the hell is he doing here? _

 

“Um… Hey” Jimin said, as equally surprised as Yoongi. Yoongi swallowed, his muscles tensing at the sight of literally the most beautiful man he had ever seen standing just a few feet away from his dorm, wearing nothing but a tank top and sweats.

 

_ God, he looks so fucking good. _

 

“Hey” Yoongi barely managed to croak out. His hands were already sweating. His heart pounded against his ribcage. How did this even make any sense? Yoongi felt cold that morning, the rain making him shiver every so often, and now a stranger showed up and made him feel like he was about to pass out! It made his mind boggle and he could barely believe what he was seeing. Of course, they both attended the same university, so naturally, they would also sleep in the same dormitory, but why was he here? Why was he even on this floor?

 

_ Please don’t tell me his dorm is close to mine or I’m going to have a heart attack. _

 

“Is...Is this y-your dorm?” Jimin stuttered, obviously flustered by the fact that he’s meeting Yoongi again. It was awkward and neither of them knew what to say or do, so Yoongi decided to toughen up and take control of the situation, no matter how swayed he was by Jimin’s PJs and messy hair.

 

“Yeah. Where’s yours?” Jimin pointed to another dorm about four doors down.

 

_ Christ. Of course. _

 

Despite being a little agitated by the fact that it was close, Yoongi knew why he didn’t want to have a dorm close to Jimin’s.

 

_ It’s because I’m not supposed to have feelings for people. I mean seriously, who would fall in love with a monster like me? _

 

“How come I never see you around?” He asked, once again, trying to regain control of the situation.

 

“I usually get up pretty early.” Jimin looked like he was tired of standing, but Yoongi had to know more, even if he was tired as hell.

 

“Me too. I get up at five usually. When do you get up?” He felt his hand wrap tighter around the door handle he had been gripping the entire time, still itching to sleep.

 

“Around seven. Are you going to sleep?” Jimin eyed Yoongi’s hand. Yoongi pulled his hand away from the doorknob, feeling the sweat creating a layer on his palm.

 

“Yeah. Are you?” He wasn’t sure how much longer he could stand this conversation. He had never had this feeling before. He had never felt such a strong and uncontrollable urge to touch another man before.

 

_ Shut up and focus. _

 

“I was, but I couldn’t sleep so I decided to take a walk. Sorry if I bothered you.” Yoongi’s heart felt like it was going to ram up his throat and choke him. He could’ve just said goodnight and disappeared behind his bedroom door, turned off the light, put away his laptop, and then sunk down onto his mattress, but instead he stood there. He clutched his laptop and charger in one hand while his other rested idly by his side. He was usually so stone cold, so what made him wanna help his person he barely knew?

 

What was so special about Park Jimin?

 

“It’s alright. Can I...Is it alright if I walk with you?”

 

_ Stupid. Idiot. Dimwit. You’re supposed to be in bed, not awkwardly walking next to Jimin as you make your way around campus in the middle of the night. _

 

_ Such a fucking lunatic.  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think it's about time they start to figure out their thoughts on one another, don't you? 
> 
> Stay tuned for the next chapter (:


	7. Moving Forward

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jimin and Yoongi take a nice and friendly walk, until one of them starts asking questions.

Jimin had never gotten the chance to explore that much of the university. The whole time he had been attending, it was mostly from the different academic buildings (never really the art gallery though, unless he had a good hour or two to spare,) the studio, and then to Jungguk or his own dorm. Sometimes, he would even sleep in Jungguk’s dorm due to being too tired to even get up and leave. Jungguk never minded and just let him sleep and woke him up when it was time to go. 

 

He put one foot in front of the other, trying to keep up with Yoongi’s longer strides. The night air was relaxing and it filled Jimin with a familiar aroma, but it was different this time. This time, he had someone walking beside him. He had always felt so comfortable around Jungguk that he had almost forgotten what it was like to walk next to a stranger. Jimin had known Yoongi for only a few hours and during their first conversation, they had gotten to know each other pretty quick, so I guess Yoongi was no longer really a stranger to him.

 

_ He’s an acquaintance. Give him time and maybe he’ll leave, maybe he’ll stay, but if he stays, he just might abandon you. _

 

The sounds of the bustling city soothed their ears. Every car honk, police siren, engine roar, voice, and rustle made him feel his muscles loosen around his body. The thought of Yoongi made them grow tense again. This pattern repeated itself throughout most of the walk. Neither of them said a word. They didn’t need to. They were both admiring the view as they walked around the sidewalk, sticking to their own sides, making sure that they didn’t accidentally bump one another. 

 

“Don’t you have classes tomorrow?” Yoongi’s voice blessed his ears after a long period of silence. Jimin had always had sleep issues, but after he started university, he’s started being able to sleep better due to his exhaustion. The harder he practiced at the studio and studied after class, the better he slept. Before, he was practically an insomniac though and even now, he frequently laid down on his bed only to realize that he was wide awake. It didn’t bother him anymore, but knowing that he had class at 7:30 AM the next morning made him a little nervous about his condition.

 

He knew that he wouldn’t always have his trusty classmates to wake him up every time he fell asleep in the middle of class.

 

“Y-yeah. What about you?” Jimin’s breath stirred in the chilly air. Autumn really was on the way...

 

Yoongi shook his head. “I have work though.”

 

“Oh.” Jimin began kicking at the sidewalk, letting his legs kind of swing and then halt like they’re two twigs. “Where do you work?” Yoongi seemed to disapprove of the question, his face scrunching slightly like he just briefly took a whiff of something foul. 

 

“I’m not really...at liberty to say…” Both of them were engulfed into a pool of awful silence. Jimin wasn’t sure how much longer he could take this. He wanted to know everything about this mysterious Min Yoongi and he wanted to tell him jokes and goof around and see what were his pros and cons. He just needed the courage to speak and just that made him feel like crumpling up into a small paper ball. If he just made himself small enough, would Yoongi kick him away and leave him?

 

“”W-well I work at the dollar store. I’m a -uh cashier” Jimin said with the most courageous yet calm voice he could manage to project. Yoongi didn’t seem impressed, but he looked at him. 

 

_ Fuck. _

 

Yoongi’s eyes were practically gleaming in the pale streetlight as they glazed over him like two shiny doll eyes that had been brought to life. His skin looked like cream as the light touched it, his jaw so sharp as the shadows were cast along the top of his neck, his whole face suddenly stripped of darkness and now glowing in highlights. It made Jimin swallow a mouthful of saliva. He could feel his pulse rising dangerously as he tried not to look at him for too long. The two shared a moment of examination, just to gaze over one another’s  _ visage _ and then they both glanced down.

 

_ He’s even better than I imagined he would be. He’s so perfect. What the hell? Can someone be this perfect? Is he real? Am I dreaming? He’s actually making me nervous. Okay. Calm yourself, Jimin. He’s not into you. How do I know that? Because he’s not  _ supposed  _ to be into someone like you. _

 

“I’ve never been there,” Yoongi began, but he stopped himself from finishing what he was going to say. There seemed to be something else on his mind. “Um, this might sound strange, but do you have a girlfriend?” Jimin nearly tripped on the pavement. He felt the saliva in his mouth run to the back of his throat and nearly strangle him. They barely knew each other and yet, he decided to ask him that?

 

_ He’s not into you. He’s just curious. _

 

“N-no. I’m...I don’t...swing that way.” Right when Jimin said that, Yoongi’s eyes looked like they were turning into full moons in their sockets. He looked at him, the streetlight casting over his highlights. Yoongi’s reaction made him even more anxious than he was before. He couldn’t tell whether it was a good reaction or a bad one. 

 

_ Either one is fine with me. I don’t need friends or boyfriends anyway. _

 

“Me neither” Yoongi’s raspy voice sent a shiver up Jimin’s spine. Did that mean that he didn’t have a girlfriend or that he was gay? Jimin tried hard not to imagine Yoongi kissing another dude, but the thought did momentarily slip into his mind. It made him blush and swear to himself that he would never tell anyone about what he was just thinking. 

 

_ Is either really fine with me? _

 

“So...do you have a...boyfriend?” Yoongi asked. Jimin didn’t know whether or not he should’ve answered that question. No, he didn’t have a boyfriend and the last time he dated, his boyfriend became a possessive and abusive asshole, but was he going to tell all of that to him? Were they that close already? No. He had to keep it to himself and just answer honestly.

 

“No. I don’t. Do you?” The same sickening feeling came again. 

 

_ Oh god. Do I want him to be my boyfriend? I mean, yeah, he’s beautiful and we share similar interests and his voice is literally the sexiest thing I’ve ever heard on earth and he can play the piano and rap and he lives really close and- Shit. _

 

Jimin realized now. He didn’t know a lot about Min Yoongi, at least, not enough to really call him a friend, but even after just meeting him a couple of hours ago, he wanted to be close to him. He wanted to explore everything there was to explore about him. He wanted to figure out every nook and cranny of his mind and see if it was as beautiful as he was, but he was terrified. He was terrified of falling in love with the same man twice.

 

“No. Not really. I mean, there is someone that I like right now, but we’re not really close.” This struck Jimin right in the soft spot. 

 

_ See? He has eyes for someone else. He doesn’t like you. He will never like someone like you. _

 

“Oh, I see. You’re...unattached. Just like me.” The silence came back, only harsh this time.

 

_ You’re such a fucking idiot. _

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Yoongi felt like his brain was about to explode. Not only did they both live on the same floor, have the same interests and subjects, but they were also both single. It felt like they were two puzzle pieces that fit perfectly together, but Yoongi still had his doubts. Of course, he liked Jimin. He couldn’t deny it. He had just met him and he liked him. A lot. He wanted him by his side, holding his hand, sitting next to him, talking to him, learning about him, and of course, he wanted him in his bed, but he knew better than to go that far.

 

The mysterious Park Jimin had somehow captured his stone cold heart and yet he had the audacity to say that he liked someone.

 

_ Fuck. Now he thinks that you like someone else. Now he’ll hesitate to do anything with you. You’re so stupid. Okay. Get together. You can fix this. _

 

“He’s into music, he’s cute, he has this habit of making sweater paws, and he looks really amazing in the moonlight.” Yoongi had to slow down when Jimin came to a halt. He stopped too, looking at him, wondering if he would get the hint, but his eyes seemed to wander. He looked sad and confused, like a lost child that doesn’t know which way to turn, so they just stand there with their head swaying back and forth. He wasn’t sure how far he was willing to go to admit that he likes Jimin, but he knew he had gotten too far to turn back.

 

“He sounds nice.” That broke Yoongi’s heart into thousands of pieces. Why was he heartbroken? He had never felt heartbreak. He had never really felt much. Mostly just the sick pleasure he gets from hurting others, which he bravely admits to himself every day, but never let himself become proud of.

 

“N-no! Wait! That’s not...what I meant.” His voice became flustered, not knowing whether what he was saying was the right thing or the wrong thing. He had played enough video games to know that a choice like this could just be fixed by just loading a previous save file, but this was real life. There was no fixing it without moving forward.

 

“Oh, so he’s not nice?” Jimin looked at him with the most adorable eyes he had ever seen. The eyes of a confused child, but curious puppy. It made his stone cold heart melt, just a little. He felt a cackle slip from behind his lips and he laughed out loud. He could see one downside to Jimin so far and that was how he was thickheaded when it came to finding out what someone is trying to really say.

 

“No! He’s….He’s nice, as far as I know, but he’s not- um…” He wasn’t sure how to explain this. He had never admitted his feelings to anyone before, ever. Not even Taehyung. He couldn’t even remember a time where he ever cried in front of him. They had both been best friends for years and yet, he had only ever seen Taehyung cry once and that was because he was watching a really depressing video online. Otherwise, they laughed around each other and just hung out or worked together. 

 

This was all entirely new to him.

 

“He’s not, you know, close to me. I just met him a couple of hours ago...at a cafe…” This made Jimin’s eyes light up like red flares. Alarms were going off in Yoongi’s mind. He had just realized that Jimin could say no. Jimin might not even have been that into him. 

 

_ Jimin could never fall in love with a monster, could he? _

 

“Oh….OH!”

  
_Could he?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know the whole relationship between Yoongi and Jimin is kind of starting to escalate fast, but isn't it beautiful? Anyways, expect more of that (;


	8. Puzzle Pieces

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things heat up a bit between Jimin and Yoongi that results in me having to take a break from writing every few minutes (:

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone wants to become a co-writer for this story, please let me know so I can contact you and share some ideas? Thank you (:

Something sparked in Jimin. It was at this moment that he realized what he had believed to be impossible, was really happening. The words that had just come from Yoongi’s lips were now permanently cemented into Jimin’s mind, leaving him to wonder if he had imagined them. They kept sinking farther and farther into his brain until they were far enough to echo in the back of his head as he replied. He knew he was being a little overdramatic, but he just couldn’t believe it.

 

_ This can’t be real. This has never happened before. I confessed to my ex four days after we had met, so things moving kind of fast isn’t a bother to me, but only a couple of hours?! Am I seriously dreaming? _

 

Jimin suddenly felt the need to pinch himself, but he didn’t wanna look crazy in front of the one person who’s made him feel something again. His heart was beating against his throat as he felt the sweat behind his neck. He stared into Yoongi’s eyes, looking for any indication that he may be joking or lying, but he couldn’t tell. He tried to scan Yoongi, watch him take every breath, just to see if his thoughts were wrong, but they were terrifyingly right. Why was he so scared? It was just like Jungguk said, not everyone was like his ex, but he still felt nervous. 

 

_ What if…. _

 

Yoongi cleared his throat and forced a chuckle, the anxiety behind his gesture brutally obvious.

 

“Sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything. Don’t take it seriously…” He was forcing himself to keep his composure for Jimin. He thought that Jimin didn’t feel the same, but if Jimin were to say that he didn’t, he would be lying to Yoongi and himself. He would become an even bigger liar than he already is.

 

_ He just practically confessed his feelings for you and you do this? C’mon Jimin, don’t bring him down. You know you like him too you timid little shit, so just tell him! _

 

Yoongi turned his back, put one foot in front of the other, and was about to keep walking, his head hung low in embarrassment, when Jimin had the raging impulse to grab his arm.

 

_ Okay. Keep steady. Don’t get wild about this. Just admit it to him so he won’t look so miserably beaten down. _

 

Yoongi turned around, confusion blurring his glassy doll eyes and his face now drenched in shadow. Jimin couldn’t help but stare at him, his complexion brought into the darkness of the night, his face still twisted in rejection, but his eyes quickly lighting up like christmas trees. There was something about Yoongi that made Jimin crazy as hell. He didn’t know whether it was his eyes, his messy hair, his black earrings and worn boots, his funny way of showing his emotions, or his whole self put together in general, but it made his hands sweat and his heart beat a thousand times.

 

His small hand, clasping around Yoongi’s wrist, his pulse just barely noticeable beneath his fingers, his tall figure now turning towards him, waiting for him to say something. But he didn’t have to. Jimin was never good with words, his nervous stuttering making him terrible at talking to strangers, but he knew exactly how to express how he felt without using them. His confused head raced at first, trying to think of words to say, until he realized that he had none, so he squeezed Yoongi’s wrist, pulled him down so they were close enough to face each other, and felt their lips push together like two puzzle pieces.

 

The feeling of Yoongi’s soft skin against his was enough to make him nearly gasp. Even after that great amount of impulse, he still blushed and felt his stomach bubbling. His lips were so warm that it felt like he would just sink into them. He let go of Yoongi’s wrist and brought his hands up to his face. His skin brushing against his palms, so warm beneath his cold fingers. The back of his neck felt like it was on fire and he knew that he was nervous. He hadn’t done this in a long time and now that it was happening, he wasn’t sure that he could stop.

 

This tingling feeling, his beautiful mix of confusion and warmth, the feeling of Yoongi pressing his lips closer, reassuring Jimin that he too was tangled in this mess, it all felt new to him. He had felt it before, done it before, ended it before, but for some reason it felt different. It felt exciting and new. He felt like everything else in the world didn’t matter. It didn’t even occur to him that the dormitory was still in sight, which meant that any one of him or Yoongi’s friends could be watching.

 

_ Man, if Jungguk sees this, he’ll annoy me for the rest of the week, but for some odd reason, I don’t really care. I guess, no matter how ludicrous it sounds, even a monster can fall in love. _

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Yoongi was cupping Jimin’s face in his hands, their breath intertwined as he tried so hard to think about stopping before things got out of hand, but there was never a right time. He couldn’t bring himself to pull away, not matter how much he knew he had to.

 

_ You don’t  _ have  _ to, you know? What have you got to lose anyway? _

 

Jimin was so small compared to him, his small body pressed against his as they tried to close the space between one another, and all he could do was kiss him. It was all he wanted to think about. The cold wind picked up, rustling through Yoongi’s messy hair and cooling the back of his neck. 

 

_ Autumn is on it’s way….That’s the first time in a while I’ve ever noticed the cold. He just makes me feel so….warm? _

 

Yoongi could barely believe what he was thinking himself, but he hated to admit it; he felt different since he met Jimin. He felt like he had really changed. For some reason, he could finally care about something. He could only allow himself to care about Jimin after so long of being unable to care for anyone else except for maybe Taehyung. He felt one of his hands travel down to Jimin’s neck, feeling the need kiss it, but he hesitated. 

 

_ I’ve never done this before. Ever. I don’t know if this will work. I don’t know if this is what I want. _

 

He felt Jimin place his hand on his, pulling away for just a moment, their eyes meeting. Jimin’s eyes lit up in the streetlight, burning with something he couldn’t quite put his finger on. His voice had it too. It burned with something. Something that made Yoongi forget to breathe. Their faces were just close enough for them to touch noses and he couldn’t stop himself from wanting more, despite what the monster inside of him was screaming.

 

“Come inside with me.” Yoongi felt a shudder run throughout his whole body. Jimin’s breath against his lips and the way he looked at him, cheeks dusted with blush. His mind became a mess again, debating whether or not this was right, but he had already made his conclusion. The thing that Jimin’s voice was burning with was….  _ desire. _

 

_ Fuck. Maybe I need this. _

 

Jimin smiled, making Yoongi smirk, only slightly. He felt a tug as Jimin grabbed his hand and pulled him back to the dormitory, picking up his pace and breaking into a run. Yoongi trailed behind him, the wind suddenly feeling nice as it grazed his face. He could see Jimin running in front of him. He gazed over his black hair that blended in with the dark sky, his tank top that fluttered behind him as he ran, his muscular arms pulling Yoongi farther away from the streetlights, his whole world suddenly taking on different vibrant auras. 

 

The grass and plants looked so green, the greenest green he had ever seen, the stars suddenly seemed close, like he could reach them in an instant, and  _ god  _ Jimin. He looked like he was glowing! The colors radiated off of him like fire and as they both ran, their breaths stirring in the cold air the only witnesses to their presence, Yoongi realized that he was dangerously close to losing his world of blurry monochrome.

 

And that was fine by him.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


They entered the dormitory, panting and sweaty, but that didn’t matter to them. Jimin took the job of looking around to see if anyone would see them. Yoongi smirked behind him, obviously amused by how the little puppy was engaging himself into some mischief. He would’ve never guessed that Jimin was so rebellious and demanding. He caught his breath as soon as Jimin pressed his lips against his though, sinking beneath his touch. Jimin couldn’t help but admire how he could make Yoongi melt.

 

He seemed so lifeless and cold before those beautiful words came from his mouth. Suddenly, Jimin was seeing Yoongi in a whole new light. He would’ve never guessed that Yoongi could actually feel love, despite only knowing him for such a short amount of time. Then again, he thought he could never love again and yet here he was. He was already feeling the pain from having to crane his neck to meet Yoongi’s lips, but it all went away when Yoongi pressed back, lowering his head so Jimin could gain access.

 

Jimin bit Yoongi’s bottom lip shyly, but Yoongi grabbed his waist and pulled him even closer, letting them entangle themselves together even more. He wanted the moment to last forever, where he and the gorgeous man he barely knew were pressed against the dormitory wall, in the shadows and hidden from sight as they explored one another, but he knew that Yoongi had morals despite his bad-boy-act. 

 

“My room. Now.” Yoongi moaned between kisses. The whole journey through the dormitory was a blur of running up the stairs while holding hands and warm chuckles. Jimin’s stomach churned with excitement, the thought of seeing Yoongi’s dorm for the first time fresh in his mind and the thought of being in his bed was even more fresh. This time, it was Yoongi that lead the way, his hand pressed into Jimin’s, sending warmth throughout the both of them. It felt like they were the two final pieces of the puzzle that were just pressed together.

 

They both felt painfully yet beautifully complete.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just know that the next chapter will involve me writing things that I've never written about before in my life, so don't mind it if I get incredibly poetic out of habit. I hope you enjoyed (:


	9. Lived it. Endured it. Paid for it.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jimin spends the night at Yoongi's house and wakes up the next morning. His senses gradually snap back and he starts to become a hot mess again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you were looking for kinky smut, you came to the wrong person (: Sorry.

Yoongi had the honor of opening his dorm room door. He turned around to be sure that Taehyung wasn’t in and luckily, he was nowhere to be seen. His phone and charger were gone along with his pillow and blankets, so he was probably staying over at a friend’s house, which made Yoongi smile mischievously.

 

_ I never thought that I would get so worked up by another person. God Jimin, what are you doing to me? _

 

Yoongi heard Jimin’s soft chuckle and felt his hand travel up the side of his head, his small fingers clutching at his hair so he could kiss him harder. It was amazingly sweet, the addictive taste of Jimin’s lips sticking to his own lips like a pleasant aftertaste. His hands were shaking, unsure as to why he was so nervous, until he realized what was happening to him. He was growing attached to Jimin and he didn’t know why. This hot smear of confusion had his head spinning so fast that he couldn’t keep up with the speed anymore.

 

He was starting to lose control. He had been so in control for so long and now somehow, Jimin has managed to make him crazy in less than eight hours by simply being with him. This twist of events kept playing over and over in his head, from the moment he looked up from his computer screen at the cafe, to every touch and rewarding gasp he received as they clung to each other like two pieces of chocolate melting together. They were both once so cold, Yoongi having been so focused on his business and music, Jimin having been so focused on fearing others and shutting himself out.

 

Yoongi could tell that neither of them knew exactly what they were doing, but that was another thought that swirled in his head and made his heart beat; The thought of doing what his instincts told him to do. He practically pushed Jimin onto his bed, pausing to see how he would react and was rewarded with the enticing sight of Jimin laying on his bedsheets, his hair messy, his eyes glossed over, his cheeks burning, and his chest heaving in the air desperately as he waited for Yoongi to make a move. He could already feel the lump in his pants.

 

He crawled onto the bed, straddling Jimin and he inched closer and closer until he was close enough to kiss him. He went for Jimin’s neck, kissing underneath his jawline and making his way down to his collarbone. He smiled as he received low moans in response. He sucked and bit on the sensitive flesh until it turned bright red and bruised until he heard Jimin whisper into his ear, his voice becoming the biggest turn-on of the century to him.

 

“Do you think anyone’ll hear us?” 

 

Yoongi didn’t even need any time to answer.

 

“I don’t care. All I care about is you...here...so you better not fucking leave.”

 

Jimin laughed, sending vibrations through his chest and making Yoongi slide his hand up Jimin’s tank top. 

 

_ He laughs so well. How does he do that? How does he laugh and sound so adorable and hot? Fuck. I love it. So far, there’s nothing I would change about him. It’s like he was made perfect on purpose just to make me this way. _

 

“I won’t leave you if I wake up sore tomorrow.” 

 

Yoongi felt his breath hitch in his throat. He wanted Jimin so bad. He wanted to know everything there was to know about him and still love him, so hearing those words was like a promise.

 

“Challenge accepted.”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Jimin opened his eyes, still heavy from sleep, and saw the blinding sunlight bursting through the dorm window. It was warm and comfortable, as though the cold world outside didn’t exist, and he felt someone’s arms wrapped around him like he was a stuffed animal. He glanced down, thinking that someone had climbed into bed with him, when he remembered the night before.

 

_ I thought it was just a dream, although it did seem _ too  _ real. _

 

He turned his head slowly to look behind him. He was greeted by the most beautiful sight; Yoongi laying behind him, his breath touching Jimin’s back like a warm hand. His hair tangled and tossed across his forehead, his bare chest pressed up against Jimin’s back, wearing nothing but the blankets around his waist. This had Jimin gulping, knowing that this was real, he had done that and that he and Yoongi were now definitely official. He just couldn’t believe it. He never thought he would be with anyone ever again.

 

For quite a while, a year at most, he thought that he was meant to be alone. Now he knew that maybe there was a chance that he was skipping to conclusions. He kept reminding himself of what Jungguk said about how not everyone is like his ex, but seeing this reminded him a lot of how he once woke up the same way when he was with his ex.

 

_ His name is Lee Hyeonggo, not “my ex,” even though he is. _

 

He felt the familiar fear, just for a moment, but after glancing back at Yoongi and feeling his warmth pressing against his, it instantly went away. He had no reason to be afraid of Yoongi. He had no reason to be afraid at all anymore. He felt that Yoongi wasn’t the type to take advantage of people and upon thinking this, he sighed and smiled.

 

_ He’s just what I need to move on with my life. _

 

Jimin turned around as quietly and carefully as he could, careful not to wake his lover, and sank back into the bedsheets as soon as he was comfortable. His eyes travelled around Yoongi, from the way his face looked so solemn with his eyes closed to the mountain beneath the bedsheets that was his lower body. He stared for a while, letting the image engrave itself into his mind, before gently placing his hand on the back of Yoongi’s head and pulling himself forward to place a kiss on his forehead.

 

He didn’t know why he was doing it; it just felt right. He pulled back, looking down at Yoongi’s soft face, and was surprised to see that his lover’s eyes were wide open, staring at him. He blushed, knowing now that Yoongi must’ve been awake through the whole ordeal, and pulled back even more. He let go of Yoongi’s head and tried to speak without sounding like an awkward little kid.

 

“I didn’t know you were awake.” He relaxed a bit after seeing that Yoongi didn’t do anything to stop him. They both stared at one another for a short moment, processing the night before in each other’s minds. 

 

“I woke up a little bit before you. Did you sleep alright?” Yoongi’s morning voice made Jimin almost kiss him. 

 

_ It sounds even sexier. How the fuck- _

 

“You okay?” Jimin snapped back to reality. He had spent such a long moment drooling over Yoongi in his mind that he hadn’t even bothered to answer his question. He hummed a tired “yes” and closed his eyes for a moment, trying to get himself back together.

 

“Do you wanna get up?” Yoongi asked, his tired eyes blinking and squinting at the intense sunlight. Jimin thought about it for a moment. He had classes this morning and work in the afternoon and then dance practice, but for the first time since he started university, he didn’t want to leave the dormitory. He didn’t want to leave Yoongi’s bed or even his side. He wanted to stare into those dark brown eyes and kiss those soft lips all day, but his professors would kill him and he needed to keep his scores up.

 

He groaned and turned onto his back, rubbing his eyes and trying to read the time. It was already nearly 7:00 AM. He needed to get ready, but Yoongi’s arms were still around him, pulling him in closer. Jimin sat up, feeling Yoongi’s arms drop so he could sit up with him. The sun was so blinding after having just woken up that Jimin had to blink a couple of times before looking back at Yoongi, who was patiently waiting for a reply. His expression dropped when he saw his face though. He knew what Jimin was thinking and Jimin wanted him to act dumb and pretend like he didn’t know. He wanted Yoongi to convince him to stay.

 

“I have to go to class” he groaned out. Yoongi frowned as he watched Jimin lift himself out of bed. Jimin had never been in Yoongi’s dorm room and he knew that he couldn’t wear the same clothes as yesterday. He had to change into his old clothes just so he could walk down the hall, take them off, then take a brisk shower and pull on some new ones.

 

“You can use my shower if you want. Taehyung shouldn’t be back until this afternoon” Yoongi offered. Jimin stopped, his eyes wandering towards the bathroom. They were lucky to be living in a dorm where every dorm had its own shower, but the thought made him turn a very vague shade of pink. He had to get his shit together, for his own sake. He couldn’t let himself get carried away by this. He had studies, choreography to memorize, songs to work on, and he had a project due the next week that he hadn’t even started on. 

 

_ Pull yourself together. Just take a shower, put on some clothes, brush your teeth, wash your face, and then go. Don’t even try to style your hair. You’re gonna be late. _

 

He couldn’t move. His legs wouldn’t cooperate with what his mind was telling them to do. Every particle of his soul was telling him to get in that damn bathroom and get ready for class while every muscle in his body was telling him to stay. They disintegrated into a terrible mess and Jimin felt the urge to just say, “Fuck it!” and climb back into bed, but he was cold. He may have just experienced the best night of his entire life with the most amazing person he had ever had the pleasure of meeting, but he knew how it ends.

 

He saw it himself. Lived it. Endured it. Paid for it. He would’ve rather died than went through it again, so for the last time he asked himself the same question he had been asking himself since he first felt something for Yoongi, “Why am I doing this to myself?”

 

“Jimin?” The sound of his lover’s voice made Jimin blink back to reality. He had been lost in thought for a moment,  _ again. _

 

“Thanks, but I’ll use my own shower. My clothes are in my room anyway. Would it be alright if I go get ready and then meet you in the hallway? I’m kind of sick of walking to class alone...If it’s no...trouble…” His voice felt like it was being dragged away by an invisible rope. Yoongi’s face seemed to turn pale for a moment.

 

_ Oh god. He thinks he did something wrong. He probably thinks you’re a freak who decided to have a one-night-stand.  _

 

“Ah…Okay.” Jimin nearly hit his head against the wall. He wanted to punch himself in the stomach and pull his hair out. He knew that what he was doing made him look like an asshole, but what else could he do? The confusion was overwhelming for him and he couldn’t tell which mattered more.

 

_ Yoongi or my work? _

 

“S-sorry. I’ll see you in a few minutes...and um...let’s meet up after classes. I wanna show you something.” Yoongi’s head perked up, obviously interested, but too tired to be too excited. After a split second, he slumped down, though not dramatically and sighed calmly.

 

“I can’t. I have some work to do. Could you show me some other time?” He could tell that Yoongi also cherished his work, though a little more than he did.

 

_ That might become a hazard. _

 

“Oh...Yeah. Sure. Just tell me whenever you’re free. It’s...It’s not super important anyway….and um….Do you….Do you take this seriously?” Jimin’s throat clenched as he asked this. He didn’t know exactly why he was asking, but he knew that there had to be a reason behind it. Perhaps it was because it all felt so unreal to him like he had dreamt it all. Yoongi flashed him an expression of raw confusion. He knew that it must’ve sounded a little strange to him, but he wanted to see his reaction. He wanted to be sure of this.

 

He wanted to stop feeling afraid even if it meant walking on fire.

 

“Take what seriously?” Jimin was facing the door, knowing that he would’ve had to open it and leave, possibly ending whatever was happening between them, making him feel like an idiot for falling in love with someone who saw it as none other than a one-time-thing. It was just the way Yoongi had touched him the night before, kissed him, blessed him with the softness of his skin and the delicacy of arms. It seemed like it wasn’t just mindless sex.

 

_ Just for good measure. _

 

“....This.” Jimin gestured to signal that he meant the two of them. Yoongi’s face relaxed a bit, no longer confused, but it seemed that he was now struck by something else. His puffy eyes were still raw from sleep and he was still wearing nothing but the bed sheets, but he was sitting up and looking at Jimin with the look of someone who was just hit by a bullet of words. 

 

“....Are you?” Jimin gulped. He wasn’t sure anymore. He didn’t feel completely okay with it to be honest, since he still had his obnoxious paranoia, but he wanted it. It somehow meant so much to him that he didn’t know the extent of it. He had never even bothered to really evaluate what he was doing or why. He just let his feelings speak for themselves and now he realized that if Yoongi didn’t feel the same, he would’ve embarrassed himself greatly. He probably would’ve had to spend months with his head hanging low no matter how much encouragement Jungguk gave him. 

 

He would’ve hit his head and cried.

 

_ Just like you did so many times before… _

 

He simply nodded his head. He wanted to bolt out of that room. He wasn’t sure whether or not he wanted to hear Yoongi’s answer and it frightened him to the core. He was absolutely terrified of ending up entirely alone. He knew that if this were the end of it, after such a short amount of time, he would’ve lost it. He would’ve given up on relationships and locked himself up in the studio where he would've written about it in lyrics, but he waited. He had to know. Needed to know.

 

He saw Yoongi sigh as he pulled on a pair of underwear and practically dragged himself towards Jimin. Jimin could feel his heart beating. He was awake now and tense. He didn’t know whether he should’ve just stood there to see what would happen or ran out the door, so he quietly waited. He heard Yoongi’s footsteps approach from behind him as he stared at the door with the most tense face he had ever pulled and held his breath as their vibrations spread to his feet.

 

Something lightly grabbed his arm and made him flinch. He nearly gasped and immediately swung around, afraid of being touched. At first, his reflexes just kicked in, until he realized that it was only Yoongi. As far as he knew, Yoongi had no reason to hurt him, so why did he feel like he could break into pieces if someone so much as nudged him? Yoongi recoiled, his face twisting quickly into one of concern. 

 

_ You fucked up. He knows. _

 

Jimin tried not to stare into Yoongi’s eyes, but he couldn’t help it when Yoongi cautiously spoke with his morning voice.

 

“I’ve never been more serious about anything in my entire life.”

 

_ You’re okay.  _

 

_ Everything’s gonna be okay. _


	10. Happier and Happier

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jimin has secrets that Yoongi doesn't need to know, while Yoongi has secrets that Jimin isn't SUPPOSED to know.
> 
> That doesn't mean that Jimin isn't curious.

There was a lump forming in Yoongi’s throat- the kind that concerned him. He had this feeling before with his brother when they were kids, but never with anyone else. Not even Taehyung who has gotten into all sorts of trouble since they met. He couldn’t believe that he was actually falling for this man even though they had just met the day before. It felt thrilling and invigorating, but he didn’t know whether or not it was right. Just then, after saying more of what was on his mind to Jimin, he made a realization he should’ve made a while ago.

 

_ He might get dragged into my troubles. He might get hurt just because he’s involved with me. Shit. What do I do now? If I fall back, I’ll hurt him, but if I stay with him, he’ll get hurt nonetheless.  _

 

These thoughts were cranked and molded through his mind until he could no longer see the face Jimin pulled when he heard those words. It was too late now. He had done it. He had felt something for Jimin and now it was going to hurt the only person who could ever make him feel that way. It made the blood in Yoongi’s head flush out, leaving him pale and confused. After that, he wasn’t sure what to say or do and that was rare. He was usually more in control than this. He usually tried to be in control of every situation, but ever since that last night, he was losing his control. 

 

He panicked because he didn’t know what to do anymore. He didn’t know how to react or think. He didn’t know anything. He felt so incredibly stupid and argued with himself in his head. It was like there were two voices clashing together, telling him that what he was doing was wrong or what he was doing was right. He couldn’t tell which one he was supposed to listen to and it pained him. It pained him even more to leave Jimin hanging, so as they stood there, barely facing one another, Jimin obviously troubled, he sighed and made the conscious choice to try and evaluate the situation.

 

_ One thing is clear: I feel something for Jimin. Last night was the proof of that, but judging by his reaction to how I tried to touch his arm just now, he has troubles of his own. He’s imperfect. Perhaps there’s something that happened to him to make him act this way, but I am not lying when I say that I am serious about this. I want this to happen.  _

 

_ So bad. _

 

“Do you mean it?” Jimin spoke cautiously, obviously trying to figure Yoongi out. Yoongi felt strange, knowing his answer but not knowing if he should really engage in this. 

 

_ I don’t have to tell him everything now. He doesn’t need to know about what I’m really like yet. For now, we can just lay low and be just like everyone else. _

 

_ Everyone else.  _

 

_ Ha. That’s odd. _

  
  
  
  
  


Jimin waited for Yoongi to answer, his eyes full of anticipation and he would’ve almost jumped in joy if Yoongi hadn’t been right in front of him.

 

“Yes.” Jimin felt all the blood in his body rush to his cheeks and heart. He could barely contain himself because it made him so happy to know that Yoongi was serious about it. All of it. It made his heart sing and his mind dance! He couldn’t remember a time in the morning where he had ever felt this way, but there’s a first time for everything. He blushed so hard that he could’ve sworn that Yoongi had noticed it. A smile crept onto his face a little, making Yoongi relax a bit. It was nice to know that they could be relaxed like this.

 

It felt like a weight was lifted from off of his chest and he could finally breathe again. He could finally stop feeling lonely and tense about everything. All of his hard work, his strife, his emotional stress, his fears, and his terrible post-abuse mindset could finally be treated. He could finally live the right way: side by side with someone who meant a great amount to him. Now all they had to do was start slow and get to know each other more.

 

He had been itching to learn more about Yoongi since they first met and he told himself that he wouldn’t kiss him or even hold his hand until he got to know him a little more. Even though he was urged to pull Yoongi closer and kiss him right there, he wanted to make it last.

 

_ As long as possible. _

 

“Tomorrow night. 7:00. Dinner. With me.” he said a little too confidently and then walked out the door before he could even get a reply. The moment the closed the door between them, he felt a dreadful separation, but an amazing buzz in his stomach. A wide smile stretched across his face and he couldn’t hold back his energy. He jumped up, bumped his heels together, and clapped once. This was the part where Jimin realized that he was sore and groaned, but it only made him all the more happy because it seemed as though Yoongi really didn’t want Jimin to leave.

 

He felt silly as he smiled widely and turned the doorknob to his dorm. He closed the door behind him and as he was about to release the doorknob, his fingers stopped. His body tensed and he felt like the whole world had just turned upside-down. He could feel his face going pale and his stomach churned as he forgot to breathe for a moment. All of this was occurring because of one repetitive thought:

 

_ I’m too pathetic to be in love. _

 

It felt like his soul had just gotten sucked out of him and even though he knew that he was already too deep now to turn back, he also knew that if something went wrong, he would break completely. It would destroy him instantaneously and he would no longer be able to face himself. The last time he had a panic attack, it was a month ago when Jungguk jumped up from behind him and wrapped his arm around him, scaring him so much that he pushed him away and nearly fell to the floor. 

 

Sometimes, he could still feel Hyeonggo’s forearm pressed strongly against his throat, depriving him of air and crushing his esophagus. It made him shake his head every time. He didn’t want to ever feel that ever again. That previous night, with Yoongi on top of him, kissing his neck and releasing heavy breaths against his bare collarbone, made him almost forget the feeling of being strangled. It was like the sensation was becoming more and more anonymous to him. He could no longer remember how long he had been strangled for or even how far he counted in his head as he was gasping for breath.

 

All he could remember was the pain, heartbreak, fear, and just some small details. He could remember turning his head to look at him, trying to find anything humane in his eyes, but all he saw was a wild animal trying to hurt him so he could have him all to himself…

 

And then came the hospital and the restraining order and Jungguk having to repeatedly grab his anxiety medication. Jungguk must have gone through a lot of worry for him and it made him feel like he could truly rely on someone. Jimin let his hand drop to his side as he thought about this, trying not to cry right then and there. He made the conscious choice to take a deep breath, turn around, take his shower, grab his clothes, towel-dry his hair, and then walk out to meet Yoongi. His hair smelled like men’s shampoo and his clothes still smelled like the store that they came from. 

 

He had to fight back a smile when he saw Yoongi standing outside of his dorm room, phone in hand while wearing a black jacket, a pair of jeans, black boots, and a grey beanie. He could swear to god that he had never seen someone wear clothes like that and still look so strikingly handsome. It made his heart flutter for a moment, his eyes having to blink a few times to regain a hold on reality. It was like every time he saw Yoongi, he was looking into a dream he had never dreamt before. It made him curious to see what it held, where it would go, and if he could really live in it.

 

He pushed back his damp hair as he walked towards him, his legs feeling like they were gonna give out after every stride, but it was worth it when he saw the way Yoongi looked up from his phone to meet his gaze. Their eyes were locked for a second, unmoving, until Yoongi motioned for them to leave. Jimin nodded and hummed a shy, “uh-un.”

 

They both walked together for a while, enjoying the cold weather as they walked towards the big brick building that was the lecture hall, while Jimin fought the urge to hold his hand. They had to stay low-key for now so that he could get used to just talking to Yoongi for a little while. He wanted to pick at the corners of his mind to see what made him the way he was, but the more questions he asked him, the more questions he had to ask. 

 

It started out with the usual, “What’s your favorite season?” and “What kind of movies do you like to watch?” Then it began to escalate to, “Do you wanna go see a movie?” Hearing this question in particular made Jimin wonder if he was even thinking at all when he spoke, but fuck it right? He wanted to get to know Yoongi more, then he might as well watch a movie with him in a dark theater. Okay. He knew the risks, but come on! He wanted to see how Yoongi would react.

 

“Okay.” Jimin’s heart felt like it had just gotten stuffed up his throat with how hard it was beating. He could feel his whole face light up with bright red blush. He felt like a giant lightbulb and he could feel the heat around his neck, but he smiled with anticipation and continued on with the conversation until they reached the lecture hall. He didn’t wanna leave his side. He wanted to talk with him all day and share stories and find out what made him laugh too, but duty calls and he found himself walking into the lecture hall alone.

 

He could barely survive a minute through the lecture that day without thinking about that night, that morning, and everything in between. He had been blushing the whole class and Jungguk gave him stares that bore the words, “I know that look.” Jimin knew that he would have to explain everything that happened to his best friend, but that didn’t matter. What mattered was that for the first time, he felt like he was soaring through the roof. 

 

He felt  _ amazing. _

  
  
  
  


For four months, Jimin made it his priority to get to know Yoongi as much as he possibly could. Every day, he would ask him questions and listen to every word he said. Every day, he would walk to class with Yoongi, laugh with Yoongi, goof around with Yoongi, and even sleep in the same dorm as Yoongi. Every day, he felt himself becoming more and more happy than he was before. He felt complete, warm, safe, and every time he learned something new about his boyfriend, he would take note of it and go back to his dorm feeling like he had just had a successful day.

 

Every time Yoongi laughed, he couldn’t help but smile as well. Of course, Yoongi didn’t know about his past and he didn’t need to. He was okay with the way things were going and he wouldn’t have traded so much as a second of it for anything, but something was growing in the pit of his stomach. He felt that the romantic part of their relationship was disintegrating into something more friendly. Something was telling him that this was wrong despite his original intentions. He wanted to hold his hand, kiss him, hug him, compliment him, and sometimes it made him crazy, but he just never knew whether or not he was ready.

 

He woke up as usual on a saturday morning in his own bed. Yoongi said that he had some work to do so he couldn’t stay the night over. Jimin never questioned Yoongi’s work since it didn’t look like he wanted to talk about it, but it made him more and more curious every time he mentioned it. He wanted to know what his boyfriend was up to, but he didn’t want to invade his private life either. He had his boundaries and decided to try and let it go. All of this secrecy however, made Jimin a little irritated.

 

For the first time in two months, Jimin started taking his anxiety medication again. The first time, he thought it was because of his classes, until he realized that every time he thought about the things that Yoongi could be hiding, it made his mind race with anxious and unpleasant thoughts. He didn’t know whether or not he could cope with it, but every smile he received from him, every chuckle, touch, and stare was enough to make him want to stay. Sure, Yoongi was conservative, but that was something Jimin could force himself to live with.

 

If it meant that he could stay with Yoongi, then it was worth the struggle. His only problem was the drugs. Sometimes, they made him drowsy and every time they did, he wouldn’t always be completely aware of what he was saying. He forced himself to get up and out of bed and immediately realized that Yoongi would have left at this hour. He had missed his chance to meet him. This made him both sad and lonely, since Jungguk was gonna be out of town this weekend to visit his parents for the first time in a while and that meant that Jimin had no one to spend his time with. 

 

He sighed, the emptiness growing larger within him. He decided to put on some clean clothes and then go online to see what other people were up to. He put on a pair of jeans and a white t-shirt before sitting down at his desk to start browsing away, where he remained for a good two hours. When he thought he had had enough, he stumbled upon a picture of some of his old friends from highschool posing together after having a reunion. He didn’t even know that they were having a reunion, which made him feel even lonelier since that meant that they didn’t really care much for him, but it was the man standing on the far right that made his throat clench.

 

_ It’s him. That bastard. He was there? Why? He hated them in high school. He told me that they were the stupidest people he had ever met, so why would he agree to take a picture with them and post it on instagram? _

 

He scrolled down to read the caption and saw that everyone in the photo was tagged. Jimin could feel his hands beginning to shake as he saw Hyeonggo’s username tagged in blue. His hand hovered over his mouse, unsure as to whether or not he should really click. He knew that doing so would hurt him, but he wanted to know what this bastard was up to and if he could’ve been screwing another guy. He halted and put his head down on the desk. The wood pressed against his forehead allowed him to think until all of the blood that was rushing to his skull felt like it was about to pour out of his eyes.

 

_ It’s not like it has anything to do with me. So what? It’s none of my business anyway. Maybe he’s finally learned his lesson and decided to just live a better life. Maybe he’s just moved on, just like me.  _

 

Though Jimin knew that it wasn’t quite true. He had moved on, but not from the pain it left him. He still had a scar on his hip from when he got cut by the edge of his desk when Hyeonggo pushed him down. He remembered it all and it still haunted him, but it was over a year now since it all happened and he knew that he was getting better, he just didn’t know if the scars would ever heal.

 

_ Fuck it. Fuck it all. I need to know. _

 

So, he clicked. His profile picture was the same as his old one, but his caption was different. Jimin didn’t even bother reading anything. He just wanted to see the pictures he’d posted. He noticed that he rarely ever posted anything, but a few photos set off some alarms in his mind. At least five of his posts showed him having some intimate contact with another guy, only there were three of them. All of them were at least two months apart, but it made Jimin’s skin crawl.

 

_ He had been dating other guys as though they were toys. I hope to god that he didn’t do to them what he did to me. _

 

He decided to look into his list of followers to see if he recognised any of them. Despite the sea of strangers he was faced with, one face seemed oddly familiar. He looked to be around his age and he was leaning in towards a girl that he didn’t recognise. He could’ve sworn that he had seen him around campus, but he never spoke to him so he wasn’t sure, until he read his description, which had the college name in it.

 

He read the name carefully.

 

“Kang Jinsong…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter will mostly focus on the whole mystery behind what happened with Kang Jinsong and we'll get to see more of Taehyung! (:


	11. Running Out Of Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kang Jinsong breaks out of character and Yoongi was fortunate enough to witness it, but there are some things that people are better off ignoring...

It was an ordinary day for Yoongi, at least, above all the rest he had for the past few months. The case on Kang Jinsong had pretty much come to a close. He was suspected of murder, but he was let off due to lack of evidence and over the long hours of staying up late trying to find a weak spot for him, they found nothing. He was a little too perfect, since it seemed as though he had no enemies nor pressure points. For the first time, three months ago, Yoongi decided to actually speak to Kang Jinsong personally, but he wasn’t really interested in him.

 

He had even tried to make him jealous by flirting with his crush, but it only made him act like someone who knew better than to be possessive of people. He was probably the most difficult person he had ever encountered, since he was so unpredictable, but after all of their hard work, they decided that it was of no use. There was no way they could use the murder suspicion against him, so they instead started looking for other methods that include a little more dirty work. All Yoongi and Taehyung had to do was come up with a plan on how they were going to do it.

 

Their motive? Expulsion. They wanted to somehow get Kang Jinsong out of the school by creating a lie. The lie however, was the hardest part. The kid was so perfect that they couldn’t find a logical solution. His scores were perfect, he was one of those anti-drug hipsters, he had lots of friends that apparently always knew where he was, and above that he had two parents that loved him dearly and a whole future planned out for him. Yoongi was practically biting his fingers as he waited for Jinsong to slip up, but it had been months and there was nothing. 

 

They were running out of time. 

 

This was frustrating on hundreds of levels, but there was one lucky night that made their plan move forward a bit more. Yoongi had his hand on the steering wheel, waiting for the light to turn green, the radio turned down low, and the tapping of his own fingers leaving small vibrations beneath his pale skin. It was pretty much his usual friday night. Jimin was in the studio, doing what he usually did, so Yoongi was driving to the nearest outlet store alone. He was planning on picking up a few things, his eyes wandering over his windshield, when he saw a familiar car stationed on his right of the intersection.

 

_ Kang Jinsong? What is he doing here so late at night? Doesn’t he usually go to sleep at this time? _

 

He recognized the car by the license plate and the sticker on the back window. He couldn’t see inside the car, but he knew that it had to be Jinsong. His senses were kicking in. Something strange was happening. Kang Jinsong had broken his routine. He always went to bed at around ten o’clock at night. He never stayed up any later than that, let alone even thought about driving anywhere, so why was he here at this time? The moment the light turned green, he decided to turn right and see if he could get behind him.

 

He put his foot on the pedal, drove passed Jinsong’s car as fast as he could without looking obvious, then quickly but stealthily turned the car around so he was behind Jinsong, but at a safe distance. He had to see what he was doing. 

 

_ Finally! Something interesting is happening! _

 

The light turned green and Yoongi crept closely behind as Jinsong made his way towards a gas station. They hadn’t driven very far before they reached it and Yoongi remained close by while Jinsong stopped for gas. He turned off his engine and lights so that he wouldn’t get noticed, but he had his hand on the ignition in case he was spotted. While he and Taehyung were stalking him a little while back, Taehyung got caught. Now Jinsong knew that he was being watched and he started keeping a close eye on his surroundings. Of course, his suspicions weakened when they stopped, but that didn’t mean that he had completely given up on the idea.

 

He was way too smart for that and Yoongi didn’t know exactly what he would do. That’s how unpredictable he was. Even after months of stalking him, if he so much as stayed for too long or started following him, he didn’t know how Jinsong would react. It was kind of a scary thought, but it wasn’t new. Yoongi was used to being in scary situations. He didn’t mind it anymore.

 

He felt his pulse go up when he saw the way Jinsong was acting as he was getting gas though. He had put up his hood, he was shaking his leg as though he was impatient, and he paid in cash. He had credit cards, so why did he feel the need to pay in cash? This was enough to make Yoongi’s mind wander to all sorts of places as Jinsong walked into the gas station. He gulped knowing that he was gonna have to step out of the car and follow him. This was so incredibly unusual, so how could he resist?

 

He cautiously stepped out of the car, keeping his eyes on the store windows to make sure that he wasn’t being spotted, and quickly but casually made his way towards the door and opened it. The light was bright and painful, but he could clearly make out Jinsong’s appearance at the start of one of the aisles. He was standing idly, his hand grazing over what looked like bathroom supplies. Yoongi carefully made his way towards the other aisle, making sure that Jinsong was still in sight, and pretended to be looking over a variety of snacks.

 

He looked up every moment or so to be sure that he hadn’t moved. He stood in the aisle for a moment or two, before he saw him pick up something from the shelf and stride towards the cashier. He decided to remain unseen and continue pretending to browse snacks as he listened in. He then noticed that what Jinsong had only bought one small item that only took a moment to scan. It looked like a pack of razor blades, but they came with the razor handle itself. 

 

He paid, in cash of course, and started to make his way towards the door. As he did this, Yoongi quickly but silently followed and he got into his car just as Jinsong got into his. He waited for Jinsong to leave the parking lot first before he followed. He didn’t know why he felt so interested in Jinsong’s sudden change in routine, but just the act of walking into a gas station just to buy razor blades was unusual. Jinsong had a beard growing, one of which he was started to grow proud of, so what did he need razor blades for? Self harm? Yoongi didn’t see any scars on his wrists before. First time?

 

No. Jinsong wasn’t like that. He had no reason to be like that, so what was he doing? Yoongi followed him all the way back to the dorm, where he watched as he entered the dormitory as usual. Yoongi walked back to his dorm, pondering what he saw and soon realized that he had just forgotten to buy earbuds for Jimin like he promised he would.

 

_ Just wait until Taehyung hears about this. _

 

He grabbed his dorm room key from his front jean pocket, unlocked it, and then opened it and stepped inside. He turned on the lamplight at his desk and began gathering some of the papers he had accidentally left out in the open for anyone who happened to enter his room to see. 

 

_ I should really fix my habit of leaving them here. I don’t want anyone to know that I stalk people for money… _

 

“BOO!”

 

Yoongi jumped and whirled around and switched into fight-or-flight mode! He was about to punch the intruder when he realized who it was. Jimin’s messy black hair, tank top, and sweatpants were standing right in front of him, only inches away. Yoongi placed a hand on his chest, finally allowing himself to calm down as he repeated in his head over and over:

 

_ It’s just Jimin. No one is here to kill you. It’s just Jimin ; your boyfriend. _

 

“Don’t do that!” Yoongi almost yelled, but he knew better than to yell at Jimin. Jimin was kind of sensitive and didn’t like to get yelled at in a way that was unfriendly. Jimin laughed and lightly hit his shoulder.

 

“I scared you! I got bored and snuck in here. Did you just come back from work?” Yoongi felt his heart drop when he made the sudden realization.

 

_ Oh fuck! _

 

“Did...Did you see the papers I had on my desk by any chance?” He couldn’t even believe that those words were even coming out of his mouth, but he was desperate to know. 

 

_ He can’t find out. Not now anyway. Please. _

 

“Nope. You walked in before I could even look around! Why are you coming back so late? Did you get me some earbuds like I asked?” Yoongi heaved a sigh of relief.

 

_ That was too close. I need to be more careful from now on. I don’t know when he might barge in here again. _

 

“Oh, shit! Sorry! I totally forgot!” He tried to make up an excuse, but the hardest thing for him to do was lie to Jimin, so he just told him some half-truths. Yes, he headed to the gas station and yes, he had pretty much forgotten all about the earbuds. He just made it sound like he had been forgetful, which by itself, was still the truth. Jimin pouted and hit Yoongi again, only a bit harder this time.

 

“Try to remember next time! It’s okay though. I guess you must be tired after work. Do you wanna watch a movie? I brought my laptop so we don’t have to use yours.” Yoongi felt grateful that he had someone as forgiving as Jimin, or else this would’ve turned out a lot uglier, but he was able to relax and nod a yes. He hadn’t been relaxed like this with anyone in his whole life. He didn’t know why but something about Jimin made him feel so comfortable and calm.

 

“Just let me change into something more comfortable. You can choose the movie this time.” Jimin seemed content with that. As Yoongi pulled on some comfortable shorts and a t-shirt, Jimin took out his laptop and clicked through movie titles on Netflix before finally settling on one of his favorite action movies. He sat on Yoongi’s bed, the laptop on his lap, waiting impatiently for Yoongi to join him and when he did, he pulled one of those smiles that shined the words,  _ I’m not going anywhere. _

 

_ And that’s exactly why it’s better to keep what my work really is a secret. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this chapter was a little bit short, but I haven't had enough time lately to write anything due to school and practices, so this is what I was all that I was able to conjure up. I hope you enjoyed it though!


	12. Not Jimin, You Bastard!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For some reason, Jimin feels like he's being watched.
> 
> Yoongi, on the other hand, is waiting for a call from Taehyung that will either solve everything or ruin everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter goes kind of fast since there's a lot of action. I will try to make the next chapter go a little more slowly.
> 
> Enjoy (:

Jimin sat in class, trying to pass time by writing down notes, but not really listening to the professor at all. There were bags under his eyes from staying up late watching movies and whispering his thoughts with Yoongi. He hadn’t felt this tired in a while and it made him dread going to practice, but he had goals to accomplish. He wanted to work as hard as he could- If only his head wasn’t so caught up in his lover. He couldn’t stop thinking about the way Yoongi’s chest felt when he leaned into it. The noises coming from his lungs, those soft little exhales that became sighs as they both grew tired, how delicate and beautiful he looked when his eyes grew heavy from the computer screen…

 

_ He gets to me. I want this to go on forever. He makes me forget everything that’s ever happened. _

 

Something averted his attention however and it wasn’t the tapping of another student’s pencil or a change in the professor’s tone. He could feel someone’s eyes boring into the back of his skull. It made the hairs on his forearm come to a stand and skin on the back of his neck itch. His heart was beating and all he could think of doing was turn his head to see what was making him feel so anxious. As soon as he turned his head, he was met with a taller but definitely younger student staring at him with his dark and intimidating eyes. He looked like a little kid met eyes with someone who just made fun of them and got away with it.

 

Even when Jimin was clearly looking at him, the boy still stared. It was like he was warning him. His eyes were muttering, ‘Do anything and I’ll kill you.’

 

Jimin took the time to just barely recognize the student, but he slowly turned his head back to process what was going on.

 

_ Kang Jinsong? Why is he looking at me like I did something wrong? _

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


The hours went by very slowly. All Yoongi could do now was sit in his dorm room, anxiously waiting for a call from Taehyung. He hadn’t received the heads-up to take down someone in a little more than two years and the last time didn’t go as well as he had planned. All that he could remember after practically jumping on his target was waking up in the hospital after suffering from a mild concussion. After that, he gave his target more chances before going for the take-down. He hated to admit that he was nervous. Everything that happened when he was a kid resonated with him every time he physically hurt another person.

 

He knew that he just might go crazy again and beat his target up so bad that he might even kill them. It was only noon and yet it felt like the sky was growing dark. He had barely eaten anything and the boiled egg he forced himself to swallow was not helping him calm down. He usually didn’t feel this nervous about it either, which worried him even more, so he got up from his bed and decided to take a brisk cold shower. He remembered to bring his phone with him in case Taehyung called.

 

He threw off his shirt and jeans and fetched his robes before turning on the showerhead. The water pounded gently against his skin as he stepped in. The cold rivers going down his back made him relax a little until he remembered how it felt whenever Jimin would trace his fingers along his back every time they woke up in the same bed in the morning. He shook his head to make the thought disappear. He had to think like a monster. He was about to take down a very important target and he needed his head to be screwed on straight, though not perfectly tight.

 

He had to be a little bit crazy, but not enough to let himself make the same mistake a second time. Once he was finished with his shower, he dried himself off using a spare towel and checked his phone to make sure that his phone didn’t go off without him noticing. 

 

Nothing. Not even spam.

 

He couldn’t help but sigh and throw his phone on his bed before stretching on a black t-shirt, black jeans, and a thin black jacket. He grabbed his black hat from the side of his bed and put it on before taking a look at himself in his mirror. He looked like the kind of shady guy you would find in a suspense movie. Even his face said it all. His eyes looked dark and serious, his lips stretched into a stubborn line, his collar reaching all the way up to the arcs of his jaw, and his hair parted so that it was out of the way and barely noticeable.

 

He had never really seen himself like this before, but then again, he always avoided it. He knew that this is what he must’ve looked like every time he had business to take care of like he did today, but the thought of letting Jimin see him like this made him stop and look.

 

_ Would he still love me? _

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


That whole day, Jimin felt like there was someone watching him wherever he went. It followed him from class to class. It followed him through lunch and work and even practice. Every now and then, after constantly trying to perfect something, he would look over his shoulder and try to find where the source of the anxiety was coming from. He left the studio early and climbed into his car, leaving his bag in the passenger seat. As he was backing out of the parking lot, he felt his stomach growl. He had barely eaten anything since breakfast and dinner time had already passed.

 

He decided to just pick up something on his way back to his dorm and maybe, if it wasn’t too late, he could run into Yoongi and offer him some. Usually whenever it was before eight, he would walk over to Yoongi’s dorm room and have dinner with him. They would sit on his dorm floor and talk about whatever was on their minds. Usually this resulted in laughing and joking around, which made Jimin’s day ten times better, but it might’ve been a bit too late. The sun had pretty much gone down and Jimin found himself turning on the radio as he made his way down to one of his favorite restaurants.

 

He took a right turn and as he straightened his wheels, he looked in his rearview mirror to see that there was another set of headlights behind him, but they were so close that they were practically tailing him. He decided to stick to the speed limits, but his curiosity wasn’t about to die. The more he drove, the more he realized that his instincts were right.

 

He was being followed.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


“FUCK!” Yoongi’s voice rose to a scream as he threw his phone onto the floor. He had just gotten a call from Taehyung and picked it up thinking that he was gonna give him the heads-up, but instead listened as Taehyung explained that there was a change in plans. Yoongi still needed to take Kang Jinsong down, but for some odd reason, Jimin had been dragged into it and now Jinsong was tailing him with his car. Taehyung was following the both of them, but he couldn’t seem to get Jinsong off of him. They were trapped on the road and they didn’t know what to do.

 

So many thoughts were crossing Yoongi’s mind in those few moments he spent trying to breathe. 

 

_ Why would he have a problem with Jimin? What did Jimin do to him? Did he find out that it was me who was following him? Is this his way of getting back at me? Oh my god. I swear, if he so much as touches Jimin, I’m gonna kill him. I’m gonna rip his head from his shoulders and throw his body over a bridge. I won’t let him hurt him. If he’s gonna hurt someone, it’s gonna be me. Yeah. He can kill me, but not Jimin.  _

 

_ Not Jimin, you bastard! _

 

Everything else that Yoongi did before arriving at that intersection was a blur. He practically sprinted to his car like an olympic track runner, sped towards Taehyung’s location on his GPS, and then prayed to God that he would make it in time. To his luck, his car was soon behind Taehyung’s and just in front of them was Jinsong, who was still waiting for the right time to strike Jimin. Taehyung waved outside his window, giving him the signal that he was ready to move out of the way so Yoongi could take the lead.

 

Yoongi obliged knowing that he would be pleased to put a dent or two in Jinsong’s car.

 

No.

 

Scratch that.

 

He wanted to flip Jinsong’s car into the nearest ditch. 

 

He waited until Taehyung’s car was completely out of the way before stepping on the gas pedal and making his way as close to Jinsong’s back bumper as he could. He decided to take the first opportunity to step on it and drive towards the left, entering the opposite lane, but they were on a less populated road so it was safe to assume that there would be no cars coming towards them. He sped fast enough to trap Jinsong, who was swerving to try and ward him off, but after seeing his face and realizing that he knew who he was, Yoongi knew that he was up for a fight.

 

His wheels turned and Jimin’s car was still in front of them, frantically swerving and screeching as he tried to get Jinsong off of his back. Seeing this only angered Yoongi even more and sent him into what felt like a pit of red-hot fire. Once his car was ahead enough though, Jinsong was the one to make the first move and Yoongi had to remain as calm as he could be as their cars bumped together. This was just child’s play. He knew that Jinsong could send Yoongi’s car flying if he had the chance, but there was no way that he was backing away now.

 

_ I won’t back away until I see his face covered in bruises and blood. _

 

Yoongi quickly fired back and rammed his car as hard as he could into Jinsong’s paint job. To his pleasure, he actually left quite a mark on Jinsong’s car. The door on his driver’s side was now dented and the paint had gotten scraped off. This only made Jinsong angrier though and as they both swerved, trying to get out of incoming traffic, Yoongi found himself panicked when he saw two headlights appear in front of him.

 

He had no other choice. He had to slow down and get behind Jinsong and wait for the car to pass, so he did, but after the car had passed, Jinsong only started going faster, making it harder for Yoongi to keep up. He swore loudly, punching his steering wheel and clenching his teeth. He decided to push his foot as far as it could go on the gas pedal before catching up once again and making his way closer. Jinsong noticed, however, and began to swerve. Yoongi knew how to play this game though. In his past, he’s had to hunt down his targets more than once, so he knew all the tricks and he knew how to stagger them. He took out his phone and while keeping his eyes on Jinsong, he quickly turned on his torch and stuck it out the window.

 

He aimed his torch towards Jinsong’s left side-mirror, forging himself a blind spot that he could slip through. He sped up as fast as he could and made it just in time to place himself beside Jinsong once more, causing an outrage from his opponent. Jimin’s car continued to swerve, but by now they were no longer on a desolate road. They were inching towards the main road and he knew that he had to find a way to get them back on a more desolate road so he could trap Jinsong somehow, but how could Jimin know that?

 

As far as he knew, Jimin knew nothing about car chasing. He didn’t even know what was going on and it was better if it stayed that way, so Yoongi did what he vowed he would never do.

 

He threw his car to the left before ramming it quickly to the right, far too quickly for Jinsong to react. He crashed the right side of his front bumper into Jinsong’s, causing both of their cars to lose control. He had never hit someone so hard with his car before, but if it meant that it could save Jimin from getting into an accident, it was fine by him. His wheels skid and screeched as he hit the brake pedal and waited for his wheels to stop before looking up again, but the aftermath was much worse than he had anticipated and he found himself on the side of the road with a pole practically carved into the hood of his car.

 

His head was against the steering wheel, the smell of smoke and gasoline seeping into his lungs as he tried to open his eyes. The world was blurry and dark, but he could make out someone walking towards his car. He couldn’t tell who it was since they were so far away and blurry, but when they climbed into the car with him and began trying to lift him from the wreckage, he heard a familiar voice calling to him. The world felt like it was sinking into a deep sea where the sounds were muffled and the colors were distorted and dark. 

 

His eyelids felt heavy, his body felt limp and weak, and he could taste blood on his tongue, but the voice was soothing to him. It reminded him of the sound a cello makes when you drag your bow along it’s strings after it’s been tuned. Sweet, but dreary. Soothing and beautiful, but sad. He sank into the person’s arms, knowing that he was safe. And just like that, the black sea seemed to have swallowed him.

 

The world seemed to cease.


	13. Bring The Dead Back To Death

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Please.
> 
> Give him back, God.
> 
> If you're there,
> 
> Give him back to me."

Tires screeching against pavement, the headlights suddenly disappearing as the sound of the hood of the car crashing into something haunting Jimin’s ears, the sound of metal and branches crushing one another, the shriek of the man in the car behind him; All of it was enough to make Jimin smash his brakes and pause to listen.

 

It was quiet at first, the noises quickly dying down, but a new sound replaced the rest. Above the sound of an engine rumbling, there was also a hissing noise coming from behind him. He didn’t even bother to look at his rear-view mirror and immediately fumbled with his seatbelt before breaking free from his seat. He pushed open his door and stumbled out into the cold winter air. The below-freezing wind pinched Jimin’s pale face, too pale to be considered healthy. He couldn’t deny that he was terrified. He had seen the whole thing through his mirrors and he knew that whoever just crashed into the side of the road was his hero, but that they were most likely dead.

 

_ Someone just gave up their life to save my weak ass. Oh god. Does this make me a murderer? Is this my fault? Why is this happening? Who is it? Please let them be okay. Please don’t let them die for someone as meaningless as me.  _

 

_ Please. _

 

He nearly tripped on a tree branch as he made his way towards the car that saved him. The engine was cut off and the headlights were a bit messed up, one of them completely gone while the other had just barely survived, but after descending the road quite a bit and taking a closer look at the wreckage, he noticed how the driver wasn’t leaving his vehicle. This made Jimin panic. A lot. He could feel a heaving in his chest, his heart beating so fast he thought that it would run right up his throat, and his legs broke into a sprint as he made his way towards the passenger’s side.

 

He opened the door, eager to see if the driver was alright, but as he leaned into the car, a familiar smell wafted towards him. The smell was that of cigarettes and by the time he was adjusted to the smell, it was too dark to really see that well. He had to lean into the passenger’s seat before he could see what had happened to the driver. His head lifted up and he was met with the sight of a man with faded mint-green hair, a black jacket, black baseball cap, black jeans, and black boots. He was pale and well-built, but his head was pressed up against the steering wheel, his hands thrown to his sides lazily, his back arched, and there was blood dripping down from the side of his face that was pressed up to the leather.

 

Pure panic rose within Jimin’s chest. His eyes grazed upon the image for a long moment -longer than it should’ve been. He couldn’t believe what he was seeing and he didn’t want to, yet it was there, right in front of him. His very own damsel in distress, only he wasn’t sure as to what to do. The fear and sadness was overwhelming him. He was quick to take action though and the first thing he could think of doing was shaking Yoongi.

 

“Yoongi? Hey. Can you hear me? Yoongi!” Jimin began to raise his voice. It was shaky and squeaky, but it was enough to make the other wake up, just a little. Jimin continued shaking him, trying to get him to open his eyes, but all he received in return were soft groans and huffs. He could tell that his lover was in agony. Every whimper as he began to slowly wake up made Jimin’s chest clench and his eyes swell up with tears.

 

“Hey, baby! I’m gonna get you out! Okay? I’m gonna get you out!” Jimin had to sniff back tears as he strained his back to grab his lover by the waist and lift him out of his seat. He slipped out of the passenger’s seat, allowing his lover to take his place before picking him up once more and lifting him onto the road. Though Jimin had a lot of upper-body strength, he still struggled to get Yoongi out. He quickly placed Yoongi against the wreckage, his back against the metal of his car, the rest of his body lying loosely on the gravel. Jimin cupped Yoongi’s face with his hands, trying desperately to wake him up, but the older wouldn’t move. 

 

He had stopped letting out noises to let Jimin know that he could hear him. He had stopped groaning and huffing in pain. His eyelids wouldn’t flicker with movement anymore. After taking a moment to cry a bit and take a deep breath, Jimin checked Yoongi’s pulse to be sure that he was still alive. The warm pulsing he used to feel whenever he touched his neck or listened to his heartbeat was no longer there. It’s rhythmic thumps were gone, leaving Jimin’s hand to linger for a minute, unsure.

 

Something broke within Jimin’s chest. All that pain. Everything hidden inside was suddenly exploding and bleeding out from his throbbing heart. He felt a cry escape his throat. It lingered in the air for a second, the tears close behind and as he felt them streaming down his cheeks, he let out another. This time, it was loud. His cries got caught in his throat and it felt like he was choking, the muscles in his chest and face tensing. His throat was clenching, just barely allowing his sobs to come through.

 

The hot tears were dripping off of his chin as he touched Yoongi’s bruised face. The black and blue scarring his right cheek, the blood staining the side of his head and neck. It seeped into the fabric of his jacket. It stained Jimin’s hands as he touched Yoongi’s soft and beautiful skin. This lifeless body that he was desperately clinging to felt like an empty shell. It looked like Yoongi, but it wasn’t. The color in his cheeks were gone, his veins were running cold, he was limp and broken, and those low sighs of air escaping his lungs and moving his chest that Jimin loved so much were silent. 

 

He pressed his forehead to what was once his lover and closed his eyes. 

 

_ Please. _

 

_ Please. _

 

_ Please. _

 

_ Don’t do this to me. _

 

_ Don’t leave me. _

 

_ I don’t want you to go. _

 

_ I can’t do it. _

 

_ I can’t live without you. _

 

_ I told you to never leave me. _

 

_ I said that you better not leave, _

 

_ So why are you doing this to me? _

 

_ Why are you leaving? _

 

_ What did I do? _

 

_ What the fuck did I do to deserve this? _

 

_ Please. _

 

_ Give him back, God. _

 

_ If you’re there, _

 

_ Give him back to me. _

 

_ I’ll be good. _

 

_ I’d rather die than lose him, _

 

_ So just please give him back to me. _

 

_ Please.  _

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


“Jimin?”

 

Yoongi’s voice strained to catch the air. His throat felt like it was on fire, his head felt like a heavy boulder, his body felt tingly and for some reason, it wouldn’t move. He could feel the warm fluids streaming down the side of his face. It was painful and he could barely manage to force out Jimin’s name, but he did. Just that small noise coming from him was enough to make Jimin release his face and clutch his shoulders, shaking him lightly.

 

He sounded like he had never been so terrified in his entire life.

 

_ What happened? _

 

_ Is he crying? _

 

“Yoongi? Can you hear me?” The younger’s voice came out panicked and shocked, but also relieved and sad. It sounded like he had just broken apart and was being given a beautiful yet unstable hope. Yoongi’s head kept feeling like it was swerving. It felt like someone had just stomped on it and crushed it with their heel, but after a moment of listening to the younger’s voice muffling through his mind, he was able to mold his words into sentences and feel his hands warming his cold cheeks.

 

His heart was beating too slowly. He could hear it in his ears, but he found enough strength to just barely open his eyes. Through the small slits that allowed him to see what was going on, he could make out Jimin’s figure kneeling in front of him, his face only inches away from his. He couldn’t see his eyes, but he could see his mouth and the way it moved with his words. Those pink lips that he had fallen so deeply for were speaking to him, but he couldn’t understand what they were saying.

 

“Yoongi? Please answer- Hello? Police?- Road just south of- Hurry- He’s here with me- Stay with me- Stay with me-” His voice was so sweet yet his words were mixed up in his head. He could just barely make out a few sentences after that, which mostly consisted of the words, “Baby” and “Can you hear me?”

 

Once Yoongi felt like he could move again, he slowly nodded his head to let his lover know that he could hear him. He heard a reassured sigh come out from above him. There was an ambulance on the way. Jimin was here with him. He was alive, barely, but he was. It was dark but he could see his lover in the headlights of what must have been Jinsong’s car. The light accented his face, but the rest of him was still confused, as though his face was being censored. 

 

The world felt like it had just flipped upside-down in the blink of an eye, the headlights becoming a distant light, Jimin’s voice comforting him as he tried to resist the heavy pain. There was a brush of wind that embraced his fragile body and kissed his face. He closed his eyes for only a moment, the weight of his head growing unbearable, before opening them again. He watched as Jimin’s figure danced before him, obviously panicked yet relieved, and he watched as another figure fell from the passenger’s side of the other car. It took him a moment to process this, but Yoongi soon realized that the figure had to be Jinsong. 

 

An unfamiliar panic rose within him, one that made his throat clench and his breath run from his lungs, but he couldn’t speak. His mind was telling him to, but his lips wouldn’t listen. They would move in the form of words, but there was no sound. He tried to keep his eyes open, but they fluttered for a moment before closing again. For just a moment, he panicked thinking that he might not be able to open them again, but when he stretched his eyelids apart one last time, he saw the figure limp behind Jimin. Yoongi could just barely make out a small glint. 

 

It was faint but he saw it. The figure, most likely Jinsong, was holding a weapon and Yoongi was sure that it was a knife, but in his attempt to warn Jimin, the pain only worsened and he found himself leaning back and groaning. The words came out as mumbled and drunken gibberish and when the pain gave mercy for just a second, Yoongi’s vision adjusted just enough to watch as the figure grabbed Jimin’s hair and threw his head against the ground, knocking him out cold. His breath got caught in his throat, his eyes darting to his lover’s now weak and unconscious body. 

 

The last thing Yoongi could see was Jinsong crouching in front of him with the gleaming weapon twirling in his hand. There was a egotistic smile plastered across his face that was only inches away from his own. He wanted to punch him, strangle him, stab him, and then throw him into the nearest river, but his body was too heavy to lift so much as a finger. The smile faded to black and he felt the tension leave his body like water being squeezed out of a sponge.

 

The last thing he felt was Jinsong’s breath against his ear and the last thing he heard were the words, “Bring the dead back to death.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter gives a little hint at the description (:


	14. A Familiar Voice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jimin has been captured by Jinsong, but doesn't know who he is or who's riding in the passenger's seat...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Focuses on Jimin's POV
> 
> You're in for the beginning of the climax baby (:

_ Blood. _

 

_ I know that smell, _

 

_ That tinge. _

 

_ I could smell it when I was laying on the ground helplessly. _

 

_ I could taste it whenever I was kicked or punched. _

 

_ I could feel it, smooth as silk, against my skin whenever he touched me. _

 

_ I know everything there needs to know about it. _

 

_ I hate it. _

 

_ Why blood when there are always roses? _

 

_ Where are my roses? _

 

_ I should probably rephrase that; _

 

_ Where is my rose? _

 

Jimin’s head throbbed in rhythm as he tried to pry open his heavy eyelids. It was difficult, but he could see that it was pitch dark. There were hums and vibrations all around him. Every few seconds or so, he would feel what felt like being in a car that was running over a pothole. The air was stuffy and hot and he could feel the rumble of an engine against his arm as he pressed it further into the vinyl carpeting. He could barely hold his head upright, but he soon found enough strength to crank open his eyes to process exactly where he was.

 

His thoughts were correct. He was in the trunk of a moving vehicle with his hands bound behind his back, his feet tied together, and a mask of thick tape over his closed mouth. What was strange, however, was that there was a bandage around his head. Someone had actually tried to help him? Why would the kidnappers care? After a moment of internal panic and trying to figure out what to do, Jimin stopped to think.

 

_ They wrapped a bandage around my head. They tied me up and taped my mouth shut because they obviously want to keep me alive. _

 

_ At least, _

 

_ For a little while. _

 

_ That’s better than being dead, right? _

 

He tried to move his hands, but only found that the more he tried to set them free, the more they ached and burned. His hands were bound with heavy duty rope that rubbed against his wrists, leaving red marks. He tried moving his legs as well, but they were also bound using the same heavy duty rope. He knew one thing: it was possible to free his ankles, he just had to get one of his heels to wedge in between the rop and the front of his left ankle and he would’ve been able to pull the rope off. It would burn and it would take quite some energy, but he was determined to use his options.

 

There was barely enough space to move, let alone breathe, and Jimin found himself feeling a bit claustrophobic, but he managed to move his legs without having to break his neck against the hood of the trunk. If he could get just one leg free, he could try to kick the trunk open, but he knew that it would alert the driver, so he tried to think of another way of escape. While he was thinking, he struggled to keep himself upright as he tried to move his heel so that it was beginning to slip beneath the rope. It took a lot of frustration and muscle work, but he eventually had the arch of his foot pressed up against the rope and his heel resting at an awkward angle against his lower calf. 

 

The bottom of his shoe dug into his leg, but that was nothing compared to the friction between the rope and his wrists. Since he was now struggling to sit upright, though slouched since the trunk was too small, his hands were resting beneath his lower back and the rope was rubbing and pressing against the bare skin of his wrists. He couldn’t remember being this uncomfortable, but then again, he had been left bleeding on the floor before, so it wasn’t the worst he had ever been through. He began pressing his foot against the rope, trying desperately to peel it away from his ankle, but rope this thick and heavy was stubborn.

 

It had been tied pretty well. Whoever kidnapped him knew what he was doing and he hoped to any, if not all divine beings that the kidnapper wouldn’t stop the car while he was trying to escape. The rope began to loosen, however, and he was relieved when he felt it rub harshly against his outer ankle before slipping over his feet and landing on the carpet. He breathed a sigh through his nose, sweat threatening his temples due to the heat and struggle, before using his feet to feel around. It took him a moment, but he finally found what felt like the inside of the left tail light.

 

_ I can do this. I can get out of here. I just need to kick off the tail light and wave something out of it to see if anyone is behind us. Please let there be someone behind us who would notice. _

 

_ Please. _

 

With one powerful blow, Jimin forced the heel of his foot into the left tail light, creating a loud ‘BAM!’ and leaving him wondering if the kidnapper heard it. The car continued to rumble on, making Jimin even more nervous. He didn’t know where he was being taken to, why he was being taken, and what happened to Yoongi, but he had to keep his head straight. He’d already had his moment to freak out and now he needed to survive. He hit the tail light with another harsh blow and began to feel a throb in his foot. He knew that he would’ve ended up kicking until his foot bled, but that didn’t matter. All he could think about was escaping.

 

_ BAM! _

_ BAM! _

_ BAM! _

 

_ CRACK! _

 

Jimin paused when he heard the sound of what must’ve been plastic cracking. He was almost there. 

 

_ Just one or two more hits. _

 

He took a deep breath and forced immunity towards the pain until he had kicked so hard that the light gave out and tumbled out onto the road. The moment he realized his success, the car came to a screeching halt. His heart dropped and for a moment, he was sure that he was dead. His hands began to tremble and the sweat wasn’t far behind. He stopped everything and listened. The engine was still rumbling for a moment which made him feel a little less anxious until it suddenly stopped and all he could hear was what sounded like someone fumbling to open their door.

 

His heart was beating so fast that he could hear it from inside his ears. His entire body was tense and the darkness of the trunk only made his moment of fear far more terrifying. Unable to see, he tried using his ears to locate the driver, who had stepped out of the car by now, but for a split second, he heard nothing. He held his breath, waiting for any sign that the driver was going to open the trunk. He was greeted with heavy footsteps and the sound of someone’s hand pulling on the little knob that opens the trunk.

 

He panicked for a good three seconds, wondering what to do and if he should try to make a run for it, but upon seeing the night sky for the first time since he had gotten into this situation, he was instead greeted with a dark and looming figure that seemed so tall he could shelter him if it rained. He had an athletic build, but it was too dark to make out any vital features. Jimin’s mouth was taped shut, the sticky substance painfully holding his lips together and pulling on his skin whenever he tried to move it. His wrists still itched and burned, but seeing his kidnapper made him freeze. 

 

To his surprise, just as the kidnapper began taking a good look at him, another figure came into view along with an unfamiliar voice.

 

“Is he awake?” The voice called from the other end of the car. 

 

_ There’s two of them?! _

 

“Yeah. He managed to free his feet and kick the shit out of your left tail light. I told you he was gonna a tough one to handle.”

 

_ I know that voice. Where have I heard it before? _

 

Another figure quickly ran into view. Both were wearing baseball caps and long-sleeve shirts, though one was wearing a large jacket and the other had only a thin sweatshirt. Jimin struggled for a moment, trying desperately to get his hands free, but the rope wouldn’t budge. It was like someone had tied them military-style. 

 

“Shit! That little bastard! I didn’t think he was that bad!” The second figure began examining his car. As he passed by the first figure, the first figure stared at Jimin. He seemed almost pleased to watch Jimin squirming to get free. Jimin knew that if he were to try and roll out, the kidnappers would have him back in their trunk in no time. If he tried to run, they would grab him before he could even put a single foot on the ground. He had to fight back somehow, but the ideas were coming and going like cars on a highway. 

 

“Agh! Hyeonggo-ah! You dated one crazy dickhead! He kicked it so hard that it landed all the way over here!” The unfamiliar voice called from a little distance away.

 

Jimin’s whole body froze. Something, whether it be fear or his dinner, began clogging the back of his throat which formed a lump that he had to swallow. He blinked a few times at the figure standing above him. The figure turned for just a moment to yell back.

 

“Shut up and get back in the car! I’ll take care of Jimin.”

 

_ I know where that voice is from. I heard it when I took my first order at my part-time job in high school. I heard it while lying on his couch in his apartment. I heard it against my neck when we’d had too much to drink. _

 

_ Why?! _

 

_ Why can’t he leave me alone?! _

 

_ Why doesn’t he understand anything?! _

 

Jimin had to snap out of his screaming thoughts when he saw Jinsong’s figure walk towards the front of the car, leaving him and Hyeonggo alone. Jimin tried to move away, but even as he was pressed against the back of the trunk, Hyeonggo’s figure still loomed over him, looking down at him and probably debating what he should do to him. He heard him scoff before he leaned down so close that his face was almost right up against Jimin’s. Jimin strained his neck to try and avoid eye-contact, but that didn’t stop Hyeonggo from whispering in his ear, the smell of gasoline and blood practically wrapped around him.

 

“I won’t kill you, don’t worry, but that doesn’t mean I won’t hurt you.” Jimin felt a hand travelling up his thigh. He tried to kick it away, but then another hand wrapped around his leg before grabbing the other, pinning them down. He watched as Hyeonggo tied the thick rope around his ankles, only tighter this time, and he had to practically sink into the carpet of the trunk as Hyeonggo brought his face back up to Jimin’s. “I’ll be gentle if you just comply. We both know what happens when you’re a bad boy huh? So be good or you won’t go back looking as pretty as you are now.”

 

That was enough to make Jimin fall back. He knew what Hyeonggo could do. He lived through it and it was one of those things that, no matter how hard you try, you will never forget. He could already imagine it and it made his chest clench. Hyeonggo leaned back, his arms now on either side of Jimin, holding him in position, but just when Jimin thought that he was gonna make a move, he lifted himself off and gave him one final smirk before closing the trunk with a loud ‘fwump!’ Jimin recoiled at the sound and began to panic even more than he did before. His head throbbed with every passing second, but all he could think about was the fact that Hyeonggo, above all people, was his kidnapper and how Yoongi was still nowhere to be seen.

 

_ Please let him be alright. If I have to kill one of them to get out of this, or even both for that matter, then so be it. _

 

_ As long as Yoongi is safe, I’ll be fine. _

 

_ I’ll endure. _

 

_ I can do it. _

 

_ I can face him. _

 

Jimin repeated those final words in his head over and over until his head felt so heavy that he closed his eyes and let the quiet bliss of darkness overpower him.

 

_ I can face him. _

_ I can face him. _

_ I can face him. _

_ I can face him… _

 

_ Sigh... _


	15. Feed The Beast Inside

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yoongi had been holding back his desire for guts and glory,
> 
> Now he had a reason to use it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter goes kind of fast, so don't be too disappointed if there's isn't a lot of detail. I promise I'll reveal the whole thing behind what Jinsong said at the end of chapter 13 in the next chapter or two, so please hang tight (:

By now, Yoongi had woken up in his hospital bed. The covers were cold against his legs and the bed felt hard and equally freezing. Why was it so cold? He could only wonder, but as he glanced about to see what was going on, he realized that there was something nagging at him in the back of his mind. Those dark spots, the ones he’d been avoiding for years, were slowly reaching out to him. He imagined them as thin and boney hands reaching from the back of his skull towards the backs of his eyes, clawing, stretching, but they were covered in heavy black ink. The farther they stretched, the stronger they became and the stronger they became, the less effective the black ink became on their will to continue.

 

He knew that one of these days, the black ink would wash off and those clawing hands would eventually tug on the back of his eyes and make him lose his ability to see what was important to him, but that didn’t stop him from shaking his head. He was passed this. He passed it. He couldn’t think of anything more he could do to make these horrible thoughts fade away, but in truth, there was not much he could do anyway. The memories he had of his father, the first person to ever witness the darkest side of him, would never fade away. As long as he had them, those inky hands would never give up. 

 

He couldn’t forget them either or else he would never know who he truly was. Was he a monster? That question had always resonated with him, but he had been repeating it to himself more than he had ever before for the passed couple of months. He just couldn’t stop wondering whether or not he deserved the love he received from Jimin.

 

_ Shit, Jimin! _

 

He sprang up, realizing how much time he must have wasted staying in the hospital when he could’ve been looking for the only person who mattered to him anymore. His skull felt like it was on fire, the numb and pulsing feeling growing heavier and heavier, but he couldn’t care less.

 

_ He better be alive.  _

 

_ No, he is. _

 

_ I’m sure of it. _

 

_ He has to be. _

 

Yoongi stood up from his hospital bed and ran towards the door, not even caring about his IV drip that was ripped from his arm. He could feel the blood running down his wrist. What was even worse was that he loved the feeling. It felt warm and gentle, like a hand stroking his delicate skin, but the touch of blood couldn’t compare to Jimin.

 

Not by a long shot.

 

He stumbled into the hallway and broke into a full-sprint, running into one or two people in the process, one being a nurse, before dashing through the nearest exit. Though it had looked easy, nurses were already running after him, calling his name and asking him to return to his room, but even the cool morning air said otherwise. It was morning already, making Yoongi ponder just how long he had been asleep for.

 

Was it hours? Days? Weeks? He didn’t know, but running was his only option now, since turning back would only make things worse. 

 

_ It can’t be too late. _

 

_ I’m gonna find him and when I do, _

 

_ I’m gonna kill Jinsong. _

 

_ If he so much as touches a hair on Jimin’s head, _

 

_ I’m- _

 

_ HONK! _

 

Yoongi hadn’t been looking where he was going as he crossed an intersection and was now breathing heavily in both surprise and adrenaline with his hands to support him as he tried to look up from his uncomfortable position on the ground. Luckily, the car had barely tapped him, but he was wasting more time. His senses kicked in once more, his head just barely staying on his shoulders and his eyelids fluttering at every moment to stay conscious. He was losing control of where he was going and all he could think about was escaping the nurses chasing him, getting his phone out, and calling Jimin to see if he was okay.

 

His mind couldn’t catch up to his feet as he broke out into another sprint and made his way onto another road. Those pitch black, merciless, and clawing hands that were once scratching the backs of his eyes were now temporarily at bay, only to come out once more. All he could think about was Jimin, whether he was safe, and where he could possibly be. He ran until his breaths came out short and scuffed. He ran until the bottoms of his feet were sore. He ran until he could no longer hear the nurses’ footsteps and shouting.

 

When he felt it was safe, he turned into an alleyway, his lungs heaving like they were trying to pump out all of the oxygen in his body, and reached down to get his phone.

 

_ That’s right. _

 

_ My phone must’ve gotten destroyed during the accident and even if it wasn’t, hospital gowns don’t have pockets. _

 

_ What do I do? _

 

Yoongi scratched his head as he tried to think. He could feel sweat dripping down the back of his neck, but his mind was still driving like crazy.

 

_ No phone. No laptop. No car. No food. Not even a bottle of water. _

 

_ How the hell am I supposed to find him? _

 

_ Shut up. _

 

_ I can do it. _

 

_ I can. _

 

Yoongi walked out of the alleyway and surveyed the street. A woman and her husband were pushing a stroller together. An old man was standing in front of a storefront selling woodcarvings. A woman’s heels were clacking on the stone walkway as she held her phone to her ear. There were-

 

_ Her phone! _

 

Yoongi didn’t hesitate for a second to walk out and block the young woman’s path, making her unable to maneuver around him. She paused and looked at him in confusion. She stopped talking to whoever was on the phone and just stared at him, her eyes wide. Yoongi took less than a moment’s notice to snatch her phone from her hand and press to end the call. She glared at him in anger and raised her voice to him.

 

“What do you think you’re doing?!” 

 

Yoongi simply switched to the dial pad and began dialing Jimin’s number. His fingers were shaking and the cold air wasn’t helping. He felt like his hands and face were about to turn into frozen pastries, but he soon typed in the whole number and began dialing. He turned to the woman and briefly explained that he desperately needed to use her phone. The woman seemed to back down for a moment, but she still glared at him as though he were a criminal she just couldn’t arrest.

 

He waited. The phone began ringing, which was a good sign so far, but it sounded like it would ring on for an eternity. His foot began tapping out of anxiety and his mouth was even drier than it was before.

 

_ Voicemail. _

_ They probably took his phone. _

 

_ Or maybe he just can’t pick it up. _

 

He grunted in frustration and tried a second time, trying not to cry out in panic. He wanted to scream. He wanted to punch Jinsong in the face as hard as he possibly could, but the longer the dull tone sounded, the more he realized that he needed to calm down. There was a short noise and then the tone stopped. Yoongi couldn’t hold back and immediately felt his heart leap at the sound of someone picking up.

 

“Jimin? Is that you? Are you okay?” He tried his best to sound collected but he knew that wasn’t going to happen. There was a pause. All he could hear was the quiet static of the phone’s speakers. The woman was looking at him now, much less furious and much more concerned. She must have known that something was a amiss.

 

“Why would you worry about someone who’s already dead?” An almost emotionless and downright creepy voice croaked from the other end of the line. Yoongi’s body froze, a sudden wave of realization and tension washing over him. It felt like he was a sand castle on a beach that had just been flooded by the waves. He was breaking down and all he could do was stand there as it happened. “Since you asked, he woke up an hour ago. If you called to try and find him, I should probably warn you that though I’m not a very possessive person, his ex-boyfriend sure is.”

 

Yoongi’s ears began turning red in his frustration. He hadn’t felt like killing someone so badly since that night in the basement with his father, but now he felt reminded of what it was like to clench your fists into tight balls and wish you could end someone’s life with them.

 

It may take years to ruin someone’s life,

 

But it only takes a moment to end it. 

 

“I don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about, but you better tell me where he is and fast before I come over there myself and kill you.” His voice was harsh. He made it that way. It was a defense mechanism, but it wasn’t harsh enough to stifle Jinsong.

 

“I’m more than willing to tell you, but I don’t think you know what you’re signing up for. You see,” Jinsong began, but he paused for a moment before continuing, “Right now, my friend here is holding a knife to lover boy’s throat and if you so much as step foot in this building, the first thing you’ll find when you walk in is his insides in places where they don’t belong.” Yoongi gulped at the thought. The way Jinsong’s voice had become so serious, the images of Jimin’s lifeless body lying in a pool of viscous blood with his throat slit and the contents of his esophagus just barely peeking out of-

 

_ Stop. _

 

He gave himself a moment to steady his breathing. His lungs still needed time to recover from so much running and panicking. He needed to sharpen his senses and clear his mind if he wanted to save Jimin. He had to be unwavering and clever. He had to overpower Jinsong in some way or another. 

 

“What do you want from me?” His voice came out clear and deep. 

 

He had a feeling that Jinsong was about to see the darker side of him and he didn’t feel afraid to let it out anymore. If he had an inner beast, and there was no doubt that he did, he was willing to let it take control of him.

 

Even if it meant killing Jinsong to just hear Jimin's soft voice one more time.

 

“Forget about ever meeting Jimin in the first place and simply go about your life as though he had never existed. You do that and we won’t kill him.”

 

“And if I say no?” Yoongi quickly backfired.

 

“We’ll kill the both of you.”

 

“And what will you do to him if I were to pretend like I didn’t know him?”

 

“You don’t need to worry about that” Jinsong fired back. Now Yoongi’s blood was boiling. It felt like steam would come hissing out of his ears at any moment.

 

“Oh, I really do.” 

 

There was a sigh from the other end.

 

“We’ll keep him alive and he’ll stay with us. All we need is your cooperation. I’m sorry you were dragged into this mess, but thanks to you, we found what we’ve been looking for. You already know about poor Eunbi...Ah...Eunbi...Now she was the real tragedy…”

 

“I know you killed her and I get it, you’re one twisted bastard, but I know something that you don’t.” He caught him in his trap. Jinsong knew that Yoongi would run after Jimin. He knew that he had figured out his secrets, but what was it that he didn’t know?

 

Yoongi had secrets too.

 

“You think you’ve got this all figured out, so go on then, impress me smartass.”

 

“You’re not gonna be the first.”

 

“Wh-”

 

That’s all it took before Yoongi hung up. The young woman from before strolled up to him, her eyes set on her phone and he quickly gave it to her. He left without so much as a ‘thank you’ and walked towards somewhere more residential to find a suitable outfit to wear.

 

After all, he didn’t want any more nurses on his tail. Those inky hands that had been at bay until now were quickly crawling again and soon, they were grasping his mind with their long, inky fingers. He could already feel his thoughts clearing and his lust for fresh blood on his hands growling in his stomach. He had a hunger and for years, he wanted it gone, but it was so simple now.

 

All he ever had to do was feed the beast inside and then kill it.


	16. Watch Me Die

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jimin finds himself facing Hyeonggo in a secluded room. 
> 
> What Hyeonggo doesn't know is that Jimin learned a thing or two from his abusive relationship with him and he's no longer the same Jimin that he once knew. While Jimin is trying to use his words to fight back, it's revealed to him that he might not know what Yoongi's real motive was when he crashed his car.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for taking longer than usual to post. I've been very busy lately and once Thanksgiving break comes around, I am going to be super busy with the holidays and studying for my midterms, so I'm sorry if it's of any inconvenience to anyone. I'm still trying to come up with some good endings, so I promise that I'll try not to disappoint anyone too much and just know that I would like to really take my time on this story because it is one of my best so far and I don't wanna ruin it for myself or anyone else.
> 
> Thank you for understanding (:

It was cold. The floor that pressed against Jimin’s legs was freezing. He could hear pipes dripping, the sound of the water slapping the stone floor, but as he tried to pry open his eyes, he couldn’t see where the source of the sound was coming from. He saw a hanging light and a chair. It felt like he was in a horror movie and the fact that he wasn’t alone made him almost shutter. Shapes began to appear and he could finally distinguish light from shadow. Someone was standing in the room with him and he had been watching him the entire time.

 

“Try to stay awake this time. You’ve always been kind of weak, you know? I need you awake so you can answer my question” Hyeonggo’s voice drifted from just a few feet away. Jimin could see his silhouette pacing towards the chair, but he couldn’t find the physical strength to say anything. 

 

_ He’s right. I’m weak and tired. I don’t deserve anyone. I don’t know how to save lives and I sure as hell don’t know how to take them. _

 

_ I’m just a university student who has a quirk for music and dance, _

 

_ Not fighting. _

 

_ I wish I had the confidence to fight him, _

 

_ But even after being separated from the only person that matters to me anymore, _

 

_ I just don’t. _

 

“Did you hear what I asked you?” Hyeonggo’s silhouette was now crouching close to Jimin and he could practically feel his body tensing up with every inch he filled between them.

 

“Did he hit you too hard?” Jimin felt Hyeonggo’s hand stroke his hair. He cringed at the sudden contact and tried not to look at him. He stared at the cold and hard floor, trying not to let his eyes wander to Hyeonggo’s face that, for months, made his heart stop in fear. His hand stroked Jimin’s right cheek and pulled his face towards him so that they were facing one another. Jimin tried to avert his eyes, but it was clear from the start that Hyeonggo wanted him centered and framed perfectly for him to abuse.

 

“I told him to be gentle, but he must’ve snapped when that stupid cunt rammed into his car. He’s got a bad temper, that one, but then you came along and now, everything worked out nicely. All you need to do,” Hyeonggo brought his face up to Jimin’s once again, his breath brushing his skin like candlefire, “-is wait patiently until he comes.” He let out a chuckle as though he was pleased by what was going through his twisted mind. The tone, pitch, and rhythm made the hairs on Jimin’s neck come to a stand. He had been so afraid of Hyeonggo before, but now he felt like he was simply too weak to challenge him.

 

There was thunder in his head, the kind that pounds against your skull, and every time it pulsed through ears, he felt this numbing sensation in his eyes that made them water. He knew that he needed more than just a bandage.

 

_ They could’ve at least given me a painkiller.  _

 

_ Yoongi must be on his way now. _

 

_ I had barely heard the phone conversation as I was waking up. _

 

_ He can’t come here. _

 

_ I can’t bear to see them hurt him. _

 

_ Why can’t they just kill me and let him live? _

 

_ Why is this even happening? _

 

_ What did I do wrong? _

 

_ Is this just Hyeonggo being greedy? _

 

_ Why would he bring Jinsong into this? _

 

“I can’t wait to see your pretty insides. You used to look so pretty for me. Don’t you remember? You were such a tease. I still can’t resist you, you know? You care so much for someone who sees you as nothing but a fuckbuddy. That’s cute.”

 

Jimin struggled to free himself from the rope that was tying him down, but it wouldn’t recieved a painful rug rash in return. Hyeonggo had certainly taught himself well. Jimin was good at freeing himself from traps, but this one was gonna be tricky. He grabbed the chair and dragged it across the floor, making a loud screech before he set it down in front of Jimin and sat on it. He leaned forward, the light casting against Jimin’s face now so he could see Jimin, but Jimin couldn’t see him.

 

“Now, answer the question. Where’s Kim Taehyung?”

 

Jimin’s face twisted in confusion and fear.

 

_ T-Taehyung? _

 

_ Yoongi’s friend? _

 

_ What the hell does he have to do with any of this? _

 

“What?” That one word was enough to set something off in Hyeonggo’s brain. His face cringed at it and he looked like he would explode at any moment.

 

“Don’t act stupid! I know you’re smart, even if you don’t look like it, so where is he, huh?” Hyeonggo’s voice rose towards him. Jimin could remember the last time he was yelled at by him and he could remember how afraid he felt. He used to recoil at the sound of his harsh wrath, but now he felt himself growing irritated. He wasn’t afraid.

 

He was furious.

 

“WHERE THE FUCK IS HE?!” Hyeonggo screamed close to his face, jump scaring Jimin. 

_ Since when was he this impatient? _

 

Jimin recoiled for the first time, trying to get as far away from Hyeonggo’s face as possible.

 

“I DON’T KNOW!” He roared back. Hyeonggo paused and pressed his back against the chair, obviously surprised by Jimin’s sudden outburst of anger. He had never been this angry towards Hyeonggo before and it felt good. It felt good to yell at him after all that he had done to him; All that he had done to those he loved. He had always had an internal anger, but he never dared show it until now. For a moment, Hyeonggo just sat there staring at Jimin and Jimin stared back at him with the most ferocious eyes he could manage to forge. Although Hyeonggo wasn’t very intimidated, he did seem to change his tone towards Jimin as he continued.

 

“I don’t wanna kill you, Jimin, so don’t make the mistake of lying to me, but since you sound so angry, I’ll at least pretend to believe you this time. Your fuckbuddy should be here soon. I can’t wait to see his face when he realizes that he just murdered the only person who’s willing to invite him into his bed.” Hyeonggo had given him hints towards what was gonna happen to him, but he was still confused about what was happening. Why did Hyeonggo keep saying that he wasn’t gonna kill him even after telling him that he couldn’t wait to see his insides? It was obvious that Jimin’s death was part of the plan all along, so did that mean that it was Jinsong that wanted him dead and not Hyeonggo?

 

_ Is Jinsong gonna kill me just so that he can get to Yoongi? _

 

_ Why?! _

 

_ What exactly did Yoongi do to him?! _

 

“What do you mean ‘murdered?’” Jimin’s voice grew hoarse. He was tired from struggling and it felt like someone was stacking books on his head, weighing him down. Hyeonggo scoffed and leaned forward again. Jimin knew that every time Hyeonggo leaned forward, it meant that he thought he had the upperhand. He was confident that he could really win this game.

 

_ Not as long as I’m your victim. I’ll keep stealing your words right from your mouth and spitting them in your face until you realize that you picked the wrong person to abuse and then kidnap. After all that you did to me, do you really think that I didn’t learn anything from it? _

 

_ Do you really think that I don’t know how your psychotic mind works? _

 

“Jinsong has had his eyes on you for weeks. When he found out that one of his classmates who’s jealous of him and Lee Eunkyung’s relationship was trying to gather some information to blackmail him, he immediately wanted to know how he was getting this nasty info, so he...politely...asked the kid and it was revealed to him that it was none other than Kim Taehyung, your boyfriend’s little accomplice.” Hearing this made Jimin shudder. No, he didn’t just shudder, he shivered for a moment and then every muscle in his body felt like it was made of stone. His bones felt like they would creak if he so much as took a breath.

 

_ What does he mean? Yoongi’s accomplice? Yoongi made Taehyung give this kid information about Jinsong? For what? Yoongi never had time to help anyone out with anything unless he got something in return, so why would he- _

 

Jimin’s eyes widened when the thought came. It was like a bright light that flashed across his vision for a moment, but then it came back just as fast as it left only this time, it stayed. Yoongi never talked about his job. The first time Jimin asked about it, he told him that he would prefer not to talk about it. Jimin had tried his best to stay out of his business and just assume that it’s some embarrassing job like fast food or something like that, but he would’ve never guessed that he would be selling information for money or worse, doing all kinds of dirty work for other students.

 

If this was true, then it must’ve been Taehyung who told Yoongi about how Jinsong was tracking Jimin down, which meant that the reason why Yoongi was in that car wasn’t because he just happened to be there to witness it, but because he knew that Jinsong was tailing him. If Taehyung had run off somewhere, it was most likely after the accident or even during the car chase. He ran off because Yoongi came along, which meant that Yoongi had purposefully risked his life to save Jimin’s, but Jimin failed to do what he wanted him to do. Yoongi wanted him to get as far away as he could from Jinsong, but since Jimin didn’t know what was going on, he didn’t even look back at Jinsong’s car and that’s why he was here.

 

That’s why he was kidnapped and now he was gonna die and Yoongi was gonna be there to witness it. He encouraged the situation without even realizing it. Instead of staying with Yoongi as he was struggling to stay alive, he should’ve gotten back into his car and driven off. He should’ve called an ambulance and then left, no matter how much it hurt to leave Yoongi behind, but something in him was contradicting these thoughts.

 

It was a thought that overlapped the others.

 

_ What would’ve been the point of going anywhere if Yoongi wasn’t there, alive and sitting beside me? _


	17. We Are Connected

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yoongi goes to Namjoon for help and the reason why he wants to help is all because of Jin, the boy he met because of a tube of toothpaste.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for not updating in almost a month. I am a busy person and I wasn't feeling as much inspiration as I usually do. From here on out, I won't be able to update as often as I usually do, so thank you to everyone who waited and here it is (: I also typed about half of this on my phone because I was having issues with my computer so sorry for the terrible format. Enjoy!

“NAMJOON!” Yoongi came bursting into Namjoon’s room with Namjoon still sitting peacefully at his desk. He nearly leaped at the sudden intrusion and had to catch his breath before even thinking about moving his lips.

 

“What the fuck, Yoongi? You scared the shit outa me!” he rose his voice, but his face fell when he saw his classmate’s expression smothered in panic and worry. It looked like he had just been hit by a tornado too. There was a green owl’s nest on his head, a bandage wrapped around his head with a small patch of blood leaking through, sweat layered his forehead, upper lip, and down his chin, and his eyes were flared as though he were standing in headlights. They were almost like donut holes and his breaths came in short gasps for air.

 

“What happened?” Yoongi immediately began to storm towards Namjoon’s desk. Namjoon recoiled as he could only wonder what the younger was about to do. Yoongi snatched the laptop Namjoon had his fingers spread upon and began clacking at the keys faster than the muscles in his hands could take it. His hands were freezing cold and it made them slow which bothered him, but he didn’t bother stopping to warm them up.

 

Namjoon leaned in to question the younger and look at him puzzlingly, but he knew that something of importance had struck a string in Yoongi’s brain that made him go crazy and now there was no point in trying to talk some sense into him. The only question he had left to figure out was: what could possibly have happened to get him so riled up? Namjoon scrapped up puzzle pieces in his brain and clicked some together, but none of them seemed to give him a full image until he found two pieces that fit perfectly to create the only piece of an image he needed to know what it was.

 

He stood up and glared at Yoongi who was too busy typing away to even care about his classmate’s change in behavior. Namjoon was rarely ever too caring towards people he barely knew, but people he barely knew who were being targeted by the people he hated? Oh, yeah. That made him care more than you could ever imagine. He knew just what had happened and he never thought it could ever really occur, yet here he was -the lover himself, trapped in an instant in time of sheer desperation and locomotive. His body seemed locked on the thought of holding Jimin in his arms again, even if it was just for a moment.

 

“It’s Jinsong, isn’t it? He took Jimin? And your head? Did you get it checked?” Just the questions babbling out of Namjoon’s mouth was enough to make Yoongi’s eager and angered mind snap.

 

“It’s not just Jinsong, I know that, and does my head really matter right now? Jimin is probably out there scared and suffering and I can’t waste any time on anything else but finding him and getting him back so please-” Yoongi paused momentarily when he saw the look on Namjoon’s face, as though he didn’t know who he was anymore, before he decided to mind his tone and proceed with what he was saying, “help me. Taehyung ran off somewhere and I know that Jin and Jungguk can help me find him too, so if you care enough and think you can be of any use, then please, help me. If you don’t, then just sit there and I’ll be out of here before the end of lunch -if I’m lucky.” Yoongi heaved a huge sigh after letting out all of the air he had kept cooped up inside of him.

 

Namjoon’s eyes widened even more at the mentioning of Taehyung’s name. All of the color that had remained in his face after figuring out that Jimin was in danger was now completely drained from him. He had turned a dull shade of white and watched as Yoongi waited for his reply with his pupils blown with adrenaline and eyelids wide and heavy with wet tears that he was desperately trying to bottle up. He looked like he hadn’t slept a wink and there was no telling the tears from the sweat on his face.

 

He thought for a second, thought back, proceeded to tighten his fists so his knuckles stood out from his skin and said, “What’s your plan?” Namjoon may not have been the most caring of people, but Jin cared about Jimin who cared about Yoongi and Yoongi cared about Taehyung and Jungguk and Jungguk was Namjoon’s roommate, so he couldn’t just say no. His whole life he had thought that friends were leeches that would latch onto him and leave once they got what they wanted from him, but it was obvious now that Yoongi wasn’t just asking for Namjoon’s abilities, but he was also putting his trust in him. He never asked for his trust back, so how could he say no?

 

How could he just let his friends trouble themselves and die and not do anything to prevent it? Yoongi typed and Namjoon followed. While Yoongi read off possible locations, Namjoon pulled them up on his GPS. If anything, he didn’t mind putting his life in danger to have a friend.

 

If anything, he and Yoongi were a team now and he didn’t mind it when Yoongi suddenly jumped up from where he sat and exclaimed, “BERRYBRUSH ROAD!” He didn’t mind the fact that the moment he set the location on his GPS and followed Yoongi out the door, he was risking his entire life just to find someone he barely knew. If everything was interconnected, like a spiderweb or a game of connect-the-dots like all of the philosophers and scientists in his books say, then if by any chance his actions could build a new spine in this world of skeletons, trying desperately to hold themselves together, then it was worth the risk.

 

If he could just save a life, then maybe he could justify what he had done.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


The world felt like it was waking up. The sun was still rising, but it was tucked away behind a cage of clouds. It was cold. Winter was nearly over, but spring still felt years away. Just the thought of flowers blooming was still insufferably ludicrous. It felt like all the roses and tulips had shriveled beneath the weight of the cold world. Yoongi turned on the ignition as Namjoon climbed into the passenger’s seat and stuck his GPS to the rearview mirror. It was forty-six minutes away. Yoongi knew that the drive would feel like forever, but before he could even step on the gas, Namjoon stopped him.

 

“He won’t let him go without a fight. He’s most-likely armed and waiting. We need something to protect ourselves. Let’s stop at the nearest gun store and get some bulletproof vests while we’re at it. I have money, so just step on it before I change my mind.” Yoongi looked at him for a moment, amazed by how serious Namjoon could be when it was life-or-death. His amazement didn’t last more than a second though and before either of them could utter a syllable, he threw the car in reverse and pulled out of the parking spot without a sweat.

 

All that could be heard was the engine tearing down the road and towards the gun store near the downtown area. Namjoon knew the way better than Yoongi did and the only words exchanged between the two of them were sets of directions. Every turn, Yoongi could feel his heart beating. He knew that every second he wasted was one second added to Jimin’s torture. Every minute he spent trying to prepare himself for the fight was a minute closer to losing what he was fighting for.

 

As Yoongi drove and swerved at every corner, Namjoon took the extra time between giving directions to look at his phone and check the hundreds of new messages flooding in. He knew the way by heart, so multitasking wasn’t too difficult. He tapped on the first message which was sent by Jin. He remembered giving Jin his number two months prior and speaking with him during class, but they rarely ever texted one another. Jin was kind of popular among other students and he never failed to charm his professors either, but Namjoon had always been understanding about it. Something about just seeing his name on his contact list however, made his chest feel like it was being beaten by his heart. He kept squirming every time because the heat radiating from his own body felt a little suffocating.

 

He tried to remember a time where he had felt such a strong emotion from another person, but he couldn’t. It troubled him. He saw the name beneath his fingertip, but he was slightly hesitant to read the messages. He tapped as quick as he could after telling himself not to stress it. He scrolled through them, slowly at first, but then faster and faster until it felt like his thumb was getting sore. He was almost amazed at how fast Jin could type all of them.

 

‘You left your lighter in my room’

‘It’s on your desk.’

‘The door was open so no, I didn’t break in.’

‘Are you working?’

‘Hello?’

‘I’m kind of lonely.’

‘I guess you’re busy.’

‘Do you want some lunch?’

‘I’m a really good cook.’

‘I made you a lunch while I was making mine. You can just stop by my dorm if you want it.’

‘Are you there?’

‘Did you leave your phone somewhere?’

‘I’m dying of boredom! Are you really busy?’

‘Where are you?’

 

Namjoon nearly chuckled at the messages of obvious loneliness. Never had he thought that Jin could be so… What the hell? He couldn’t even think the word without thinking about how strange it was to hear it in his mind...or anywhere for that matter.

 

_Adorable?_

 

_Yeah…_

 

_Hah…_

 

Namjoon turned to Yoongi, who had his hand gripped tightly around the wheel, the leather squeaking lightly against his palms, the bumps of his knuckles turning white.

 

_The hands of an angry pianist…_

 

He had never seen Yoongi so focused before, but then again, he barely knew him. It was obvious, from the way his hair stuck out at all sorts of awkward angles to the way he sped up every time he barely made a stop, that the only thing on his mind was the person that mattered to him the most, but if only Taehyung wasn’t missing…

 

Not only was Yoongi fixated on finding his boyfriend, but he was also set on figuring out where his best friend ran off to. His face was scrunched up, but there was no sun. He was so focused on getting back what he desired most that he didn’t even realize that he had forgotten to put on his seatbelt. Although Namjoon was still confused as to how Jinsong figure it all out and how exactly Jimin was kidnapped, he didn’t bother asking. He thought of just a month ago when Jin silent peeked through the crack of his door and knocked lightly. Namjoon told him to come in and when he turned around, he saw something he never would’ve described as beautiful if it hadn’t been Jin.

 

He was wearing a long-sleeve striped shirt and a pair of pajama pants. He could tell that his feet were cold by the way his feet rubbed against one another, the fabric of his socks being the only thing to keep them warm. His hair was uncombed and fluffed and there were small bits of crust around the corners of his eyes. He wiped at them as he entered and ran his hand through his hair to comb it using his fingers, making Namjoon’s chest almost explode. Why was he getting so worked up?

 

_It’s just Jin._

 

“Um, can I borrow some toothpaste?” he mumbled in a rusty and dehydrated voice. Namjoon almost scrambled out of his seat, but there wasn’t any reason to hurry, so why did he feel like he had to get it as fast as possible like it was some of kind urgent matter?

 

_It’s. Just. Jin._

 

He walked into his bathroom and grabbed the toothpaste, but stopped mid-turn to fix his hair and check his face for acne. As always, his face was clean and his hair was a mess, but after brushing it back a bit, he decided that it was acceptable and walked back out into his room. He reached his hand out to give him the toothpaste and examined Jin’s face for his reaction. He simply smiled reached to grab it. Upon taking it, his fingers and the ball of his palm pressed and brushed very warmly against Namjoon’s, making his hand sweat due to the contact. He looked at Jin and waited for him to retract his hand. Once they were both in their own bubbles of space, Namjoon scratched the back of his neck out of habit and shuffled his feet a bit too nervously. Jin thanked him and was about to turn his back when he heard Namjoon mumble something under his breath, though not in a rude way.

 

“Your hands are nice…” Namjoon regretted saying anything the moment he realized that he had been thinking out loud.

 

“Sorry, did you say something?” Jin politely turned his head and asked. Namjoon could feel a hint of pink blush spread like wildfire across his face. He knew Jin had heard. How could he not? He was literally three feet away from him and his little mumble wasn’t that quiet, but since he looked like he was being serious and didn’t know what he had said, he decided to play along.

 

“Your pants look nice.” Okay. That made it worse. Jin just stood and stared at Namjoon for a moment, blinking every second, but he smiled and looked down at his pajamas. They were plain and baggy, but they looked warm and comfortable.

 

“Thanks. See you later.” The door closed quietly behind him, leaving Namjoon in a trance of embarrassment, silence, and the urge to just throw himself out of his dorm window. He was silent and stared at the doorknob that Jin had touched with that warm and soft hand. He was so gentle towards everyone, so why did Namjoon feel like there was a connection between the two of them? Namjoon thought about this as they pulled up to the gun store and found a parking space.

 

Maybe everything truly was interconnected.


	18. Kill Me Before I Kill You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for being patient with me these last few chapters. I've finally added JHope's POV (thank god!), so I hope you like the little backstory I did for him. Enjoy!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know that in one of my earlier chapters, Jimin was having a hard time dealing with an emergency, so since he has now been kidnapped, I thought it would make the story progress better if he's given a little time to think about his situation (hint: the three hours spent in total darkness) and I promise that I'll give another POV for Yoongi that explains a little bit of what he did during those hours and what he and Namjoon have planned. Bon appetite!

Every minute felt like hours for Jimin. He was now handcuffed to two metal poles that stretched his arms apart. The position was uncomfortable and tiring, but it was endurable. Hyeonggo had turned off the light as he left, leaving Jimin in pitch darkness. There was a gag in his mouth and he had no idea what was awaiting him, but all he could think about was finding a way out. He tried slipping out of the handcuffs due to his small hands, but even with his tiny palms and short fingers, he couldn’t slide them out and he considered breaking his wrists to get them out, but that would be reckless since he needed his fists to fight if he encountered anyone while he made his escape. He had pulled countless times, trying to see if the handcuffs were as strong as they seemed, but all he received in return was sore wrists and the sound of the metal scraping loudly against the pole.

 

His wrists were in very uncomfortable positions that pained him due to the space between the poles being so large. Hyeonggo even apologized before he left for stretching him out so much. He even made a sexual joke about it that made Jimin shudder in disgust and remembrance of the times he would’ve gotten aroused by such a joke...All he could feel now was that shock and the feeling of his face wrinkling and cringing. In the darkness that surrounded him, there was nothing but the silence. There were no sounds of traffic, ventilation, or even pipes. He began to panic a bit. Just a bit. He knew he had to be somewhere in the countryside; somewhere where Yoongi would take a while to find him, but the sound of silence was replaced by the sound of the blood pulsing through his ears every few seconds.

 

His head still ached. He knew he must’ve had a concussion, so having the lights off definitely made his head throb a bit less, but the fact that he was in so much pain made it difficult for him to think clearly. The gag was too tight for him to move it with his tongue and he could only think of using his feet to free himself, but he wasn’t that skilled. He was flexible -thank god, but he couldn’t undo handcuffs or remove his gag with just his feet. He tried to use his shoulder as well but the awkward position made his neck sore. He wanted to cry, but only a little. The tears, however, didn’t want to escape him. He didn’t want to be weak anymore and Hyeonggo was right, he was before, but he couldn’t be now. He didn’t have time to think about dying.

 

He couldn’t just sit around. He pulled and yanked on the handcuffs, but they wouldn’t move. His arms felt like they were on fire, but he kept yanking even as he stood up and screamed. He was so furious at his kidnappers that he was taking it out on himself.

 

_Why am I so stupid?_

 

_Why did I have to associate myself with that psychopath!_

 

_Why?_

 

_Why?!_

 

Jimin stopped struggling for a second and stared into the nothingness. He listened to the silence and painful white noise that made his ears feel like they were about to bleed. He listened to his harsh breathing and finally sank to the floor and let his muscles relax. His whole body felt like it was being torn apart and his mind was running like crazy.

 

_I don’t want to hurt him._

 

_Please._

 

_It’s not his fault._

 

_Please make them kill me before he gets here._

 

_I don’t want him to see me die._

 

_It hurts to leave him like this._

 

_I want to die so he doesn’t have to._

 

_Please._

 

_Kill me._

 

For a moment, there was a light. Jimin had been engulfed in darkness for what had to be three hours. He knew he had gone a little crazy, so seeing the light made him blind and even crazier. He squinted and listened as a pair of footsteps approached him. They were heavy and confident.

 

_Hyeonggo._

 

He looked up and saw passed the blinding light and into the face of his capturer. His knuckles tightened and his fingernails dug into the palms of his hands. His neck felt hot and his teeth were clenched. The more he saw him, the angrier he became. The longer he had spent in the dark, the more he realized that if he couldn’t sneak his way out, he was going to have to play along with Hyeonggo’s game and outsmart him. He may not have been thinking straight, but all he could think about was getting rid of the obstacle that was kneeling down and staring at him with the widest and smuggest grin he had ever seen any bastard wear.

 

_Kill me before I kill you._

  
  


Music, to Hoseok, was what brought him to the conclusion that the world was a nicer place than what most people would imagine. It’s not a fairyland nor a dystopia, but somewhere in between. A place where good and evil were balanced out and the only connection between the two was their human qualities. Music brought closure between enemies. It sparked light into people’s lives and sometimes, it even saved them, but the most important part about it to Hoseok wasn’t the fact that it was what was keeping him motivated to keep living, but it connected him with people he never thought he could ever level with. When he met his friends, Jungguk and Taehyung, he thought that he could never side with them.

 

They were so different in so many ways and it wasn’t just the difference in ages and personality traits, but the way that they interacted with people. Taehyung was so outgoing and fun, Jungguk was shy and silly, and Hoseok was...well...he was the happy type. He was always trying to look at the brighter side, but it was only because he didn’t want anyone to know that he had a very low self-esteem. In middle school and secondary school, Hoseok had a lot of friends, all of which were accepting of his cheerful character, but only one of them was able to look through him. He met him in his first year of secondary school and he immediately knew that he was different from all of his other friends. He was shy and kind to others, but he was also very assertive.

 

He seemed to always know what he was doing and why. His observational side was what locked him into Hoseok’s friend group, however. He knew that Hoseok always degraded himself and compared himself to others. He knew that Hoseok was having trouble accepting something from within him, but the only thing that took him a little while to figure out was exactly _what._ That was when Hoseok kissed him. He had fallen for him and for a while, he was all that he could think about, but he had never thought that he would like him back. They decided to date in private and it worked for a little while. No one suspected anything, but the small glances they gave each other and the way they would sometimes take the risk and exchange small words of affection in public wasn’t helping them keep their secret. Eventually, the people around them began to find out.

 

It started with Hoseok’s friend, Hyung Joosung, who then swore to never tell but still passed it on to his friends. It was all over the school like a light dimming and fading into the blackness of the dark. He felt like all of the light in his life depended on his boyfriend, Kim Bojuk, but his light went out. The rumors and bullying were tearing Bojuk apart and all that he could say to Hoseok was that he was sorry and that same day, he decided to transfer out of that school and into a new one where he never saw or spoke to Kim Bojuk again. It pained him a lot at first, but now it was more like a scab that only ever hurt whenever you pressed on it. Now that he was in university and it was five years later, he no longer thought about Bojuk, but the bullying still stayed with him. He still looked at himself in the mirror and tried to act like he didn’t care about what he saw, but he cared all too much.

 

_How can anyone find this attractive in any way?_

 

Bojuk saw something in him, but he lost it the moment he left. Hoseok had lost his light, and now despite trying to be happy, he could never hit the nail on the head. He was always going in a direction that was too dark for him to really know where he was going. Music was his only sense of illumination. It was a light, but it wasn’t the same light that he had imagined. It wasn’t just love, it was every emotion ever combined into this deep and overpowering passion. He was _possessed_ by music. Music was his ghost and he died with it still inside him.

 

He died and this was what remained of him. He was a silhouette swaying in front of a mirror. The music made his feet dance and his eyes cry. He could feel every single emotion, but he wasn’t sure whether or not he was really dead. He could remember hospital lights and a voice in his head telling him not to be afraid. The voice sounded like his own, but it was unattached. It was like it was his, but it was more like someone outside of his body speaking to him even though it had to have been in his head. Ever since he woke up in the hospital after being stabbed twelve times, he had been hearing voices everywhere he went. When he listened to music, they were in the lyrics. When he walked into his dorm room, they were in the sound of the vents coming from the walls.

 

He could hear them as he was dancing in this empty studio telling him that his feet were moving the wrong way or his arms were too stiff or his timing was off. He had to get it just right. He had to move with the voices and do what they told him to do. He knew that they weren’t real and that they were a side effect from his injuries, but it sounded like they were calling to him from somewhere far. They sounded like angels, but they talked as though they hated him. As though they were jealous and wanted to point out every flaw he had in him.

 

His phone rang from within his bag and despite the music, he could hear a voice whispering in his ear and telling him that his phone was going off. They did this all the time. They would tell him information that he needed to know as though they were wandering about the room around him in search of something to tell him. He picked up the remote and turned off the music. He was panting and sweat made his hair cling to his forehead, but that didn’t stop him from walking over to his bag to see who was calling. Before he could even kneel down beside his bag, a raspier voice spoke harshly and said, “It’s Taehyung! Answer it!”

 

Hoseok unzipped his bag, pulled out his phone and immediately answered without even looking at the name.

 

“Yo!” He answered a little too enthusiastically so he didn’t sound as tired as he was. No one replied. For a moment, he was confused and looked down at his phone to see if it really was Taehyung, who usually spoke before he could even say anything, but the voice was correct. He pressed his ear back to the phone and spoke a little less enthusiastically this time.

 

“Tae? Hello? Are you there?” He listened and he tried to see if he could catch any sign of someone being on the other end. After a moment of listening closely, he could hear what sounded like something rustling. It was a faint sound, but he knew that it had to be someone.

 

“I can hear you moving. Tae, what’s going on? Are you trying to scare me?” There was more rustling and then a cry. It was loud, but it wasn’t the cry of a baby. It sounded like a grown man yelping in pain.

 

It sounded like Taehyung.

 

“Tae! Are you okay? What was that? Are you hurt?” Hoseok was panicking now. He knew that something was happening to his friend and whatever it was, it wasn’t good. He wasn’t calling him because he wanted to talk to him, he was using him as an SOS. He waited for a reply, but all that he could hear was someone breathing harshly and with great difficulty and the sound of footsteps crunching against leaves and twigs. He was outside. He was in pain and he needed help. Hoseok was nearly screaming into the phone now, trying to get so much as a word out of his friend.

 

“You have to answer me! Tae?!” His voice hitched a little in his throat. More footsteps and then the sound of someone picking up the phone.

 

“Wrong number.” The voice was low and dull. It was cold and blunt and before Hoseok could even say anything else, the person hung up. It didn’t sound anything like Taehyung and he knew that this was a cover-up. He may have been way too happy all the time, but he wasn’t stupid. His friend was in trouble and whoever just spoke to him over the phone was responsible. Hoseok nearly dropped his phone, knowing that something huge was happening. He covered his eyes and squeezed them shut, trying to block out all the intruding thoughts.

 

_I can’t do this on my own. I need Jungguk. He’ll know what to do._

 

Dialing…

 

Dialing…

 

“Jungguk-ah! Yeah, I know you’re busy, but this is really bad. I need your help right now. Something happened to Taehyung and I need you to help me find out where he is.”


	19. Love And Regret

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I know that I updated yesterday, but I was so into writing this chapter that I spent three hours doing nothing but writing it, so here you go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I said that I would give some more info on what Yoongi did during those three hours, but Taehyung's POV and story was taking up way too many pages, so I'm gonna have to move the rest to the next chapter. I hope that's okay, sorry! I hope you enjoy Taehyung's story and I hope you can finally see the connection between the events that are explained in this chapter with some of the things that are revealed in the fifth chapter because it's super important and will pretty much be the spine of the story that holds everything together! Thank you and enjoy!

It had been a while since the last time Taehyung was ever in this much trouble. He stood in the corner of the classroom while all of the other students were writing on their papers quietly. He had his back turned towards them and his eyes on the ground, the narrowing corner facing him, taunting him, telling him that he had done something wrong and that this was what he deserved. Despite the fact that all of the other kids were still writing up their sentences, he could feel their eyes continuously wandering towards him. He felt his eye throbbing due to the red swelling that had become the aftermath of getting into a fight with people he thought were his friends.

 

He may have looked like a kid, but he could get his rage on. His mother was always looking for ways to help him manage his anger, but it always just made him angrier. It felt like she was trying to control him and he didn’t like being controlled. He would always talk back to the teachers and argue with whoever told him what to do. Even his parents were having an extremely hard time keeping up with all of the trouble he was causing. He had but one friend in high school and in his senior year, he got into a fight with that one friend. Her name was Eunbi Cheol. She was very good at tolerating his anger issues and she never once tried to control him, so they gradually grew close and she became the only friend he could manage to keep, but then she found a boyfriend and changed.

 

She had stopped hanging out with him and began hanging out with her other friends. She started trying to give him advice and it only made him angry. Although he was always trying to be gentle around her, when she suddenly changed like that, he couldn’t help but to wonder what exactly this boyfriend of hers was doing to her. He watched them every day. Holding hands, smiling at each other, laughing together, teasing, hugging, kissing, and even _touching._ He was angry at her for finding someone else that could replace him so perfectly. So _easily._

 

_Why can’t that be me?_

 

_Didn’t she think that I would be lonely?_

 

_Did she care at all?_

 

_How could she not?_

 

_Did she lie to me?_

 

On a chilly night, only a year later, Taehyung drove to a gas station on his way back from one of his gigs and began pumping gas into his car when he saw a familiar woman climb out of her car in front of him. She wore white jeans and a blue V-neck. Her boots clacked against the gravel as she began pressing buttons and unhooked the hose. It took a moment but Taehyung recognized her and had to pause what he was doing.

 

_Eunbi Cheol._

 

He finished filling up his tank and decided to see what she was up to, but only out of curiosity. He didn’t want to stalk anyone anymore and by now he was fine with people telling him what to do, but he was curious to know who she had become over the course of a year. He followed her with his car, trying to figure out where the hell she was going. She wasn’t going in the direction of the university at all, but rather the opposite. She seemed to be going towards a desolate road. After a while of driving, she parked her car in a spot that was hidden from view and Taehyung had to park his car on the side of the road, turn off all of his lights, and put his hood up so she didn’t see him. It took her nearly fifteen minutes to leave the car and Taehyung wondered if maybe she was on the phone, but when she finally opened her door, she was wearing a completely different outfit. She wore a black gleaming dress that showed off her long legs, black high heels that were so high that it was sure to pain her feet, dangling earrings, a thin gold necklace, and stockings.

 

Her red lipstick perfectly shaped the bridge of her upper lip, her hair was parted on one side, and she was carrying a white handbag in her hand with elegant gold embroidery. Even though she looked somewhat elegant, she still looked like a whore to Taehyung. This made him not only gawk in shock, but also clench his fists into balls. He hadn’t been angry over her in a while and yet there she was, walking right by him. He knew that there was a club nearby and he knew that they were bound to have strippers. She looked like she could have been one of them. He decided to get out of his car the moment her back was to him and by now, he had blown his last fuse. He never thought that he would see the one friend he ever believed to be true dressed like that.

 

He understood that maybe she needed the money, but the Cheol that he knew would’ve never resorted to working at a strip club. He had grabbed his knife from beneath his car seat and left his car door open, ready to run if she ever turned around. He crept so silently, so stealthily, that not even a dog could hear him coming. He steadied his hand and had his eyes set intently on her exposed neck. It only took a moment. Within just one swipe, it seemed like all of the confidence she had in that sassy walk of hers was gone. She stumbled backwards into his arms, allowing him to embrace her, though not in a gentle way. He couldn’t be gentle with her anymore since she wasn’t the person he knew. She wasn’t Cheol to him at all. Instead, he saw a look of desperation on her face, one that he could never imagine her ever pulling and yet she pulled it so well.

 

She clawed at her throat that was swelling and bleeding so quickly that she couldn’t even keep track of how many times her lungs gasped for air. She choked on the blood and spat it out. Soon, Taehyung had her sprawled on the ground in front of him, gagging and squealing at the flow of blood clogging up her windpipe. Blood splattered all over her face whenever she coughed in horrible pain. It was too slow of a death for Taehyung to be content with, so he decided to put her out of her misery. He knew that the Cheol he once knew was still somewhere inside her, but it was like she was being possessed by someone completely different and the only way to end her suffering was to kill her. He drove his knife into her chest once, receiving a gasp of surprise and pain in response, and he put his weight on the handle so he could drive it in even deeper. He was sure that the knife had gone as far as it could go when the handle was pressed so tightly against her ribcage that he was sure he would break it.

 

Right when he thought that he was satisfied enough, he pulled it out with a gust of strength and drove it right back in, jabbing it right into her left lung. She gasped again and coughed out more blood, suddenly realizing that she would die due to the lack of oxygen before she could die of blood loss. After just a moment of listening to her struggling against the knife, she stopped gasping. Instead, she had small spasms and before Taehyung had finished relieving himself of his anger, she had stopped moving completely. Her eyes were open and staring at the sky, her face covered in streaks of dark blood, her throat still wet and bleeding, her arms by her sides as though she was giving him a weak sign of surrender, but he wasn’t about to take any mercy from her.

 

He drove the knife into her chest countless times before he was so exhausted and satisfied that he stood up and tried to catch his breath without taking his eyes off of his work. He wasn’t very impressed with himself when he saw the damage done to her throat, but when he saw the infinite stab wounds on her chest and the blood streaming from her body, he smiled to himself subconsciously. He was covered in her blood and he was sure that he would have to dispose of his clothing before he even thought about going anywhere, but he was relieved. He had finally gotten rid of the one thing that hurt him in his life. The one thing that truly got to him, and now nothing could hurt him anymore. Now she was in a better place where she was no longer a stripper or the girlfriend of a jerk like how he saw her now.

 

A place where she was the Cheol that he knew and he wanted to reach that place when it was his time too. He took one last look at the body before turning around and using his jeans to clean most of the blood off of the knife. He then took off his hoodie and used the inside to clean the blood off of his hands, opened a garbage bag that was lying in a dumpster nearby and threw it in. He then took all of the other bags and stacked them on top of it. He grabbed a pair of socks that he kept in the back of his car (he couldn’t think of anything else to use) and wore them on his hands so he could drag the body without leaving prints. He dragged it into the shadows and left it behind some boxes. He then looked up at the sky and saw that it was gonna rain soon.

 

He looked around for just a bit longer and found that there was a drain on the side of the street that was perfect for disposing of the blood. The rain would carry the blood into the drain and even though it was a lot of blood, if he just spread it around the pavement to make it less viscous, it would make it easier for the blood to travel down towards the drain unnoticed, so he spread the blood and disposed of the socks the same way he disposed of the hoodie. He then got in his car, turned on the engine and made sure to keep the light off so no one would see. There was one security camera and he only noticed it now, so he stopped the car and looked around for something to help him retrieve it.

 

He found some crates behind another building nearby and decided to stack them so he could reach it, but he still needed something to break it off of the wall. It frustrated him when he couldn’t find anything, so he decided to stop wasting his time and use his fists instead. It took some time, but he was finally able to break it off and pull it from it’s wires. It slipped from his hands and landed on the ground beside him before shattering into pieces. For a security camera, it was pretty low quality. He knew that no one even bothered to check them anyway, so he grabbed the pieces, put them in the back of his car underneath one of the seats and moved the crates back to where he found them.

 

He then proceeded to turn the engine back on and pull out of his parking space. He pulled onto the main road and started for the nearest hotel. He couldn’t let anyone see him since it had gotten pretty late. He rented one of the cheapest rooms he could find and walked in. He had a bag in his hand that held the shattered camera, Cheol’s phone (that he managed to pick up after disposing of his hoodie and putting on socks as gloves), his knife, and some other stuff like an extra jacket, his own phone, a toothbrush that he picked up from the pharmacy before he went to work along with a mini tube of toothpaste (which he had planned to use on his trip to Japan, but instead decided to use it for the night.) He immediately locked the door behind him, set his bag on his bed, and pulled out Cheol’s phone. She had a few messages from her boyfriend asking her where she was and when she was gonna be home.

 

_So he doesn’t even know that she works at a strip club?_

 

_Well, WORKED._

 

He turned off her phone and threw it in the trashcan before picking up the camera. He was sure that whatever security guard was behind it probably didn’t have a backup file, therefore he couldn’t retrieve any footage from the camera without retrieving the chip, so he decided to just take out it out and put it in his bag before throwing away the rest. He then took out his phone and checked his messages. None. Good. He didn’t want to talk to anyone anyway. Instead, he took out his knife from the bag and grabbed one of the towels in the bathroom to clean it. He dampened the towel using the tap water and cleaned it thoroughly before washing the stains out of the white fabric and hanging it back on the rack to dry. He then put the knife back in his bag and zipped it up again. He left it beside his bed and collapsed onto the mattress with a deep sigh. His body relaxed after so much exercise and tension.

 

It was over. The deed was done. He didn’t have to feel angry anymore. For a whole year, the thought of her being out there bothered him just slightly, just enough to tick him off whenever he was reminded of it, but now that she wasn’t wondering around anymore, he felt at ease. He felt calm and collected. He felt like he could never be angry with anyone ever again and it felt amazing. His friend, Min Yoongi, was probably in his dorm room waiting for one of his clients to show up, while he was here after finishing the only job that was important to him. If it weren’t for Yoongi, he wouldn’t have known how to sneak up on someone like that without them noticing. He had seen Yoongi doing it once, but the thought of doing it scared him so bad that he had vowed to only ever use it as a last resort, but even then, Taehyung was impressed by how stealthily he maneuvered around his target.

 

He never thought that it would become so useful to him and it was all thanks to having such a good friend. He thought of Hoseok, his other friend who he had met in high school, but never really considered his friend until his first year of university. He was a bit crazy and happy, but that was what he liked about him. He was excitable and friendly and yet, just a few months before, he had seen him dancing in the dance studio. He was sweaty and determined. It made Taehyung lick his dry lips and stare at his muscular thighs. He hadn’t craved another man before, but there’s a first time for everything. Right when he was about to consider walking away so he could control his desires, he saw Hoseok suddenly stop and just stare at the mirror.

 

He wasn’t sure why but it seemed as though he was examining himself.

 

_Why would he judge his appearance when he looks so fucking good?_

 

That was when Taehyung realized something about Hoseok that he never knew. He was insecure about his appearance. He had his own darkness, his own problematic qualities that he failed to look passed. He was panting and his hair was sticky with sweat, but he looked at himself as though he was looking at someone other than himself. Hoseok rubbed his face with his hands and then squatted down in front of his bag and picked up his phone to look at it for just a second. He then put it back in his bag, swung it over one shoulder, and walked towards Taehyung, who couldn’t find the motivation to move away. He could have run out of there. He could’ve just pretended like he hadn’t seen anything, but instead he stood there like an idiot and watched as Hoseok paced toward him, his head hung low.

 

Hoseok looked up and saw him. He gawked for a moment before speaking and just the sound of his voice returning to that of someone who was happy made him believe Hoseok’s disguise for just a moment.

 

“What are you doing here?” Taehyung gulped. How could he know what to say?

 

“I wanted to see you practice.” Hoseok nearly laughed at that one.

 

“Are you tired?”

 

“No.”

 

“Hungry?”

 

Taehyung rubbed his stomach.

 

“Always.”

 

They both laughed and walked along.

 

As a child, standing in that corner by himself, feeling all of the eyes in the classroom on him, he thought that the world was against him. He thought that no one loved him and that he could never love someone, and even though maybe no one loved him, he had learned from Hoseok that he could still feel love. The feelings he got from Cheol were feelings of jealousy, not affection, so seeing Hoseok in that dance room made him realize that his feelings for him were intimate and far more important than the things he felt for Cheol. He knew that he couldn’t hurt Hoseok even if his life depended on it.

 

If only he hadn’t killed Cheol, then maybe he could have Hoseok and not have to hide anything. If Jungguk hadn’t come along and stolen his heart when Taehyung so desperately wanted it, then maybe he wouldn’t have run away.

 

Maybe he wouldn’t have been in those woods holding his phone and faking noises of struggle in front of Jinsong as a way of luring Hoseok in.


	20. Big Bad World

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Foes live among us and their only disguise is that of friendship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't have the entire story planned out, so this is pretty much all on a whim (: Enjoy!

It was 7:00 PM now. Yoongi and Namjoon had gone to the gun store and bought two 9mm Lugers and  two Ka-bar TDIs. They had spent one hour getting their weapons and three hours driving and yet, they still had a few minutes left until they reached their destination.

 

_He must’ve felt so uncomfortable the whole ride. Jinsong must’ve had another car and that’s how they got so far. He must’ve put Jimin in the trunk. It must have been cramped. It must have been suffocating for him. I wish it was me instead. I wish Jimin wasn’t dragged into this._

 

_Fuck._

 

_I have to get him back._

 

It was getting dark and Namjoon had to turn on his headlights. The light reflected off of the branches of the trees and onto the gravel road that was full of rocks and potholes.

 

_I wonder if it hurt whenever the car ran over a pothole with Jimin in such a tight space without a seatbelt. The bindings must have hurt his hands and feet. Oh, god. I hope Jinsong didn’t do anything to him. I hope he’s okay. Please let him be okay._

 

Namjoon was driving now, his hands clasping onto the steering wheel so tight that he was sure it would make his knuckles crack when he let go. His eyes were glued onto the road, his brows arched into a sharp curve, his lips closed shut into a line and every now and then he would bite the inside of his lip. He was growing slightly impatient and he noticed Yoongi fidgeting in his seat and trying to stop himself from having bad thoughts.

 

“Once we get there, we’re gonna have to stay low and-”

 

“-be stealthy. I know. I’ve done this before.” Those words shocked Namjoon. He had never heard Yoongi talk in such a monotone voice as though all of the happiness and sadness had been sucked out of him. He looked away from the road for just a second to look at Yoongi. They may not have been close friends or anything, but he knew that something was dying inside of him. Something was wrong and it wasn’t just Jimin. He knew that Yoongi had done business similar to this before, but this time it was personal.

 

“Have you ever shot someone before?” Namjoon asked. The car hit a pothole and jolted for a second, making Namjoon look back at the road. When he looked back at Yoongi, he was leaning on his elbows and staring forward with the most impatient yet upset look he had ever seen.

 

“No. What about you?” He didn’t look at Namjoon. He didn’t dare. Namjoon licked his lips and looked back at the road. He sighed and leaned into the steering wheel.

 

“Once. By accident.”

 

There was an eerie silence between them. Both of them knew that it wasn’t a very good conversational topic from the start, but Namjoon barely knew anything about Yoongi. The whole thing was crazy, actually. He was helping someone he barely knew and risking his life just to get someone back that he had only ever met once or twice. He knew that he was probably being stupid, but he couldn’t just leave it alone either. He liked the thrill of it and he knew that Yoongi, deep inside, probably did too, but now wasn’t the time to be enjoying himself. Now was the time to finally do something good for someone else.

 

Do something to make up for killing Minie.

  
  
  
  
  
  


“Agh! Hyung!” Minhyuk whined loudly. His clothes were soaking wet and his hair dripped from every tip. It hung in his face like a mop and small water droplets nested on his face and neck. Streams had flowed down his arms and as he stood, water began to soak up into the grass beneath him. His his mouth was open as he looked at his older brother. He didn’t like being tricked, but since it was his brother, he was going easy. He had always thought that he was good at fighting, but he could never be one of the Power Rangers, so he kept his fists down at times like this.

 

“That’s what happens when you don’t screw the hose on right!” Namjoon ran towards his brother, his bare feet picking up shards of grass as he went.

 

“I can’t screw it on any tighter!” he whined again. Namjoon grabbed the hose from his hands and only grunted once when he twisted the head of the hose tighter. His little brother looked at it and watched some of the remaining water run from its mouth. Namjoon proceeded to run behind him and twisted the knob against the brick of their family house. The water ran freezing cold and Minhyuk ran his fingers under it for a second to see just how cold it was. He pulled his hand away almost immediately and watched as it fell and soiled the dirt below. Namjoon ran back to see if it was running properly before turning and guiding his brother towards the blue plastic slide they had built together only a month prior.

 

They both ran, the hose painting a line of dark soil behind them, and once they reached the slide, they both smiled at one another thrillingly. Minhyuk ran behind the slide and began to climb to the top. Namjoon was quite a bit older than him, so he was always trying to protect Minhyuk, but that didn’t mean that he kept him out of trouble. Whenever Namjoon was in trouble, he was always with Minhyuk. They liked to think of themselves as a super team where Namjoon was the hero and Minhyuk was the sidekick, even though Minhyuk didn’t like that idea. Sometimes, Namjoon would let Minhyuk be the hero for once and he even let him wear his cape on his birthday. He couldn’t think of a single time where he and his brother ever fought. Whenever his brother wanted something, he would always just throw his hands up and let him have it just to make him happy.

 

Minhyuk began cautiously positioning the hose so that the mouth was at the top and the water was flowing all the way to the bottom. He let go and bopped from the top of the slide to the bottom in great anticipation. He wanted to see what it looked like from where Namjoon was standing. Once they both knew that they had arranged everything correctly, they ran to climb up. Minhyuk reached the latter first, so Namjoon let him have it and watched as he giggled and shouted down the slide like a baby being flipped upside-down and then up again. It made him smile too, which made him only more excited to try it out as well. They had spent the whole afternoon on that slide. The water felt fresh against his skin and their backyard began to smell of petrichor even though it hadn’t rained in days.

 

The heat no longer bothered them and all they could do was enjoy themselves. By the end of the afternoon, they were both soaked to the skin in water, their bathing suits were muddy and heavy, and the balls of their feet hurt from hitting the ground so hard a few times, but they smiled at one another as they turned off the hose, dried themselves off, and changed into their clothes for supper. Minhyuk found a dark bruise on his knee as he was changing and his hyung put some ice on it. They sat there and played games while their mother prepared supper. They were having guests over that night. Their cousins were flying all the way from Boston to see them. It had been a while since they’d been to Korea, so they were told to dress nicely. That was all they could look forward to back then.

 

Just the two of them against the big bad world.

  
  
  
  
  
  


Jimin couldn’t count the minutes like he used to. He was back in the darkness, Hyeonggo had left temporarily, his arms hurt him terribly, and he wanted to just tear them off and run, but he had no idea where he was. The middle of nowhere was a good guess, but exactly _where_ was too vague now. He wasn’t even sure if he was gonna make it out of this alive, but as long as Yoongi survived, it didn’t seem to really matter anymore. His head sank as it grew heavier and heavier. It pained him, the weight of his head on his neck that seemed too thin to hold it all, but he endured. He could remember Hyeonggo strangling him, how his arm felt as it pushed up against his uvula, the air cutting from his lungs, the bruises a reminder of his struggles. Most people had scars on their wrists or some kind of disability as a reminder, but Jimin just had bruises that could never seem to disappear.

 

Bruises are the death of the soul and Jimin had them everywhere.

 

_Click!_

_Creeeaakk!_

 

A light pierced into the room again, the shadow that stood tall against the adjacent wall a warning.

 

_Hyeonggo. You bastard. You better not hurt him. You can hurt me all you want, but touching him would mean suicide for you._

 

There were footsteps that approached him before a familiar face squatted in front of his. A shadow was cast upon both of their faces, but only one side of Jinsong’s face was dark while the other stared at him with the light radiating off of his tanned skin.

 

“He wants to kill Yoongi, not you. It’s a trick and unfortunately, Yoongi has fallen for it.” His voice sent jitters up Jimin’s spine. He looked up, his eyes finally meeting with one of his capturers.

 

“No. Yoongi wouldn’t do that. He wouldn’t come here without at least thinking of all of the possibilities-”

 

“Which is why I’m gonna get you both out of here.” Jimin looked at him in confusion. He was sweating from having to hold himself upright, but all of his strength was now focused on keeping his head up.

 

“Why are you helping us? You followed me onto the road, crashed Yoongi’s car, and-” Jinsong attempted to interrupt but Jimin just kept going,”-you’re the one that brought me here, so why?!” He was yelling now. It wasn’t that he was angry that Jinsong was trying to get them out of this situation, in fact, he was more than happy to let him do it, but he couldn’t trust him. He almost killed Yoongi and he couldn’t tell whether it was a trick or not. He had to be smart about this while still managing his time efficiently. Jinsong shushed him harshly.

 

“I’m not here to help Hyeonggo...I’m here to use him to kill someone else and only them.” His voice lowered into a more serious tone. He was whispering and he was sure that Jimin’s loud voice might have reached Hyeonggo’s ears, so he started to seem panicked.

 

“Who?” Jimin whispered back. Jinsong hesitated but he answered as nonchalantly as he could.

 

“Kim Taehyung.”

 

Jimin’s eyes grew wide. Taehyung was Yoongi’s best friend. They were practically inseparable. He had gotten along with him a bit whenever Yoongi wasn’t there just to get to know him a little and find a new friend, but he never expected him to be on the run because someone was trying to kill him.

 

_Or maybe…._

 

_No._

 

_That’s not right._

 

 _He can’t be.._ .working _...with Hyeonggo?_

 

_Could he?_

 

“That’s not all why I’m here. I was with Taehyung in the woods a few minutes ago. He called someone I think you may know from school, Jung Hoseok, and he’s trying to lure him in. I think he wants to hurt Jungguk. They made a deal a while ago. They said that if they worked together, then they could both get what they wanted and then move on with their lives without any strings attached, so Hyeonggo would have you all to himself and Taehyung would have Hoseok all to himself, but in doing so, they would have to kill Yoongi and Jungguk. I’m here not just to kill Taehyung for my own personal reasons, but also to get all of you out of this mess and stop it all.”

 

Never had Jimin thought that Jinsong, the person he absolutely despised before, would be their savior.

 

Jungguk...Hoseok...Taehyung...Yoongi…

 

“W-What about Namjoon and Jin? Are they okay?”

 

Jinsong nodded.

 

“I would expect that Yoongi went to Namjoon for help. They work together and without Taehyung, he’s the only person he can turn to. As for Jin, I would imagine he’s following behind somewhere in the shadows, trying to figure out what’s going on. Wait-” He stopped for a second and looked at Jimin puzzlingly.

 

“Do you know anything about Jin?”

 

Jimin paused for just a second.

 

“Not much. I just know that he’s friends with Yoongi and they both work together. Can you at least explain to me what kind of _work_ they do for chrissakes! I can’t stand this anymore! I need to know what the fuck is going on!” Jimin rose his voice just slightly, just enough for it to be barely considered a whisper. He wouldn’t have been surprised if he accidentally spat all over Jinsong’s face with how confused and upset he was. Jinsong sighed and leaned back a little.

 

“He’s kind of like an info broker, but not the government kind. He uh...found some pretty nasty stuff on me because one of my classmates has been wanting to take me down since last year and now he wants to use this info to make everyone believe that I’m a murderer. That’s partially why I’m here. I can’t explain this now. We’ve got to hurry.” Jinsong unlocked Jimin’s right handcuff before turning the second, leaving Jimin’s arm to drop by his side and grow limp. Once he had freed both hands, he slid the key into his back pocket and grabbed both sets of handcuffs before trying to help Jimin up, but Jimin still didn’t trust him enough to let him touch him. He waved his hand off and got up on his own, but his arms felt like jelly and his head felt like a giant sack of rice.

 

“Where’s Hyeonggo?” Jimin was almost limping towards the open door. Jinsong had his arm behind him for support, but he wasn’t touching.

 

“Outside with Taehyung. I don’t know what they’re planning, but it can’t be good. There’s a car out back that’s for emergencies. Hyeonggo doesn’t know that it’s still there, so we should be able to-”

 

“What about Yoongi? You said that he’s on his way. We have to stop him from coming here! And Namjoon-”

 

“You have to stay in the car. I’ll take care of it. I’ll take care of anything.” Jimin stopped in the bright hallway and looked back at Jinsong. His whole body was exhausted from having to sit in such an uncomfortable position, but he could wait. He was patient, but the one thing he was impatient towards was waiting for Yoongi.

 

_He means too much._

 

“I can’t just sit around while someone else is fighting my battles for me. Hyeonggo wanted me in the first place, so I might as well show him that he can’t have me and it’s not just because I have a boyfriend,” he turned slightly towards Jinsong as a signal that he was serious, “but because he doesn’t know what it means to care for someone.” They were both quiet for a moment. Jinsong had always tried to act like he was some kind of malevolent force for the sake of playing along with the plans of his enemies, but this was different. This time, he had to play the bad guy, but give the bad guy what he wanted. He hadn’t realized it until now, but everything that he was doing wasn’t just to save people, but to save himself and Jimin couldn’t see that. All Jimin could think about was getting Yoongi, Jin, Jungguk, Namjoon, and Hoseok out of all of this, even if it meant killing Hyeonggo.

 

Jinsong nodded understandably.

 

“We have to come up with a plan. We don’t have time. He checks up on you every two to three hours and we only have so little time left until he comes back, so what do you suggest we do?”

 

Jimin leaned towards him and lowered his voice down so that he was whispering almost in his ear.

 

“We have to kill Hyeonggo and stop Taehyung before Jungguk and Hoseok arrive.”

 

_I have to do this._

 

_I want him to know what I felt in that moment,_

_When he had his arm wrapped around my neck,_

_And I want him to know what caring,_

_Loving,_

_And wanting nothing more can do._

 

_I want it to be the last thing he ever felt._


	21. The Boy In The Rain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hoseok isn't sure what to believe, but maybe the voices are right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was thinking of making a Christmas special, but I didn't have a lot of time to write anything, so I stuck with just continuing the story. Enjoy! (:

The evening sky was close to dark and the stars could barely be visible among the clouds. It was going to rain soon. The dark clouds hovered above the branches of the trees like swarms of black dust. The road was illuminated by the headlights, the sound of the engine tearing through the peaceful dark. Hoseok was alone in his car, but he knew that Jungguk wasn’t far behind. He could see the headlights in his rear view mirror and he knew that he was glad. He was troubled because there was the risk of getting Jungguk hurt, but he was glad. He needed someone to back him up if anything went wrong. He had known Taehyung for some time now, he knew his habit of getting in trouble, but he had never heard him make those kinds of noises. He had never heard him struggle once and yet he heard them clearly through that phone.

 

His foot was practically trapping the gas pedal and his phone was in the seat next to him. He had called 112, they knew where he was, and his phone was on so there was no doubt that Hoseok was gonna find him, but the panic that spread through him was one he couldn’t recognize. The voices in his head were spitting out words, some were nonsense, some were harsh, some were a little sad and soft, and some were mocking him, but they all rose up into a choir.

 

_Why would you drag Jungguk into this?! Are you stupid?!_

 

_Shut up! Don’t listen to him. Jungguk was your best option, even if it was completely unintentional._

 

_No, Jungguk was the last person you should’ve dragged with you! What if he gets hurt, huh?! You’re gonna get yourselves killed!_

 

_Taehyung needs you. Think about Taehyung. Don’t worry about Jungguk._

 

_Taehyung isn’t what matters right now!_

 

_Don’t say that! He’s your best friend!_

 

_But does he compare to Jungguk?!_

 

_He does matter! You’ve done so much together!_

 

_This is a trick! Stop the car!_

 

_What do you mean ‘a trick?’_

 

_I mean, he didn’t call you because he’s dying, he called you because he wants to kill Jungguk!_

 

_What?! What makes you say that?_

 

_I can see them! They’re waiting! He’s completely fine! They were just talking about what they’re gonna do once you get here! They don’t know that Jungguk is following you, but they want to use you as a decoy! Sssshh!_

 

There was a silence and the voices died for a moment. Hoseok was almost holding his breath. He couldn’t see why Taehyung would do something so horrible and yet, he didn’t know what to believe. He would’ve never done this and Hoseok knew that, but his voices were never wrong. He kept thinking, _‘Maybe they really got it wrong this time,’_ but they seemed to be giving each other reassuring hums.

 

_Oh, no. H-h-he wants you all to himself! This son-of-a-bitch wants to kill Jungguk just so that he can take you away! But that’s not something he would do! Why is he acting so strange?! It’s like he’s gone completely nuts!_

 

_I’ll tell you why. It’s because he likes him, but he doesn’t know how to win him over. He’s a coward!_

 

_Shut up! If he’s still Taehyung, then he has his reasons! Maybe he was just jealous!_

 

_Jealous?! He called him for chrissakes and pretended like he was dying so he could lure him into a trap! That’s not something you would do when you’re jealous, that’s something you would do when you’re fucking out of your mind!_

 

_Well then, let’s hear him out! Quick! Stop the car and get Jungguk to stay away while we go over and see what we can do first! Maybe we can convince him to stop this!_

 

All of the other voices gave agreeing sighs and hums before Hoseok finally agreed as well. If what they were saying was true and Taehyung was out there waiting for him, he had to talk to him. He had to know what was going on and how he could fix it. He pulled over onto the side of the road and turned off his engine before looking into his side-mirror to be sure that Jungguk followed close behind. When he saw Jungguk exit the vehicle, he knew he was gonna have a lot of explaining to do. Jungguk walked towards his car and watched as he exited. If he was going to explain this, he might as well have done it right then and there.

 

“Where are you going? I thought you had to practice for the performance on Tuesday!!” Jungguk said while half-jogging towards him. Hoseok sighed through the silence and prepared for an explanation.

 

“I think-” he paused, not knowing exactly what he was supposed to say. He couldn’t just tell Jungguk that Taehyung was trying to kill him without any evidence. Jungguk was well aware of the voices in Hoseok’s head by now and even he thought that perhaps they were just nonsense, but Hoseok began to believe more and more that maybe they weren’t just voices. They would tell him who’s at the door when someone knocked, what kind of food they could have when he walked into a restaurant, and they even talked about themselves sometimes. Each one of them had a different story to tell and yet, it felt like his head was filled with thousands of different voices. A few of them, however, came at least a few times a day and he could immediately recognize them.

 

There was a soft-spoken woman that he named Alice (since she apparently couldn’t remember her name) and a child that he named after Bojuk, but he nicknamed him Juk. The rest were either too infrequent for him to remember their names or what their voices sounded like or they just speak once and then leave his head forever. He had Juk ever since he woke up in the hospital, but Alice came along when he had just finished rehab. It’s almost as if they were real people to him…

 

“I need to you stay here for a little while. There’s something I need to do and you can’t come with me.” Jungguk lowered his gaze and tilted his head in confusion. Hoseok could barely see his eyes in all of the darkness, but Jungguk’s headlights were still on which reflected off of the back of Hoseok’s car and onto the both of them, allowing them just a bit of light when they weren’t facing his car. They stood there for just a moment, just enough time for Jungguk to process what Hoseok was trying to hint at, but nothing came into mind.

 

“What are you gonna do?” He questioned him with a glint of concern in his expression. Hoseok knew that no matter where he went, Jungguk would follow close behind. They had gotten pretty close over the course of a few months and he wasn’t about to let that falter, but he knew that Jungguk had a thing for him and he just wasn’t sure whether or not he felt the same. People always say that you never know how much you love someone until you lose them, but he wasn’t really sure whether or not he was willing to test that yet. He remembered the first time he had ever felt something for Taehyung, the only one that seemed to matter to him anymore, and how it was the most amazing feeling he had ever felt, but he could never recreate it when he was around Jungguk.

 

_It’s not the same at all._

 

“I got a call from Taehyung. I think he’s in trouble. I just need you to stay here and don’t follow me unless I call you. Please, just do as I say.” Jungguk looked even more baffled, but he didn’t seem to be questioning him on the outside. He stepped towards him, just enough for him to be directly facing away from the headlights and close enough to Hoseok to be looking straight at him. Hoseok didn’t move. He didn’t want to reach for him or run away, he just wanted to stand there and watch Jungguk climb back into his car, turn off the engine, turn off the headlights, and just sit there as he went along his business, but it seemed like it would never happen. Of course it wouldn’t happen. This was Jungguk, not a stranger.

 

“Is he okay?” He gazed at him with his deep eyes like he was staring at a painting and he couldn’t figure out what was supposed to be in it.

 

“I don’t know. Look, I’ll call you when I’m done, so just-” Something hit him so strong that it caused him to lose what he was trying to say. It wasn’t metaphorical either, but rather Jungguk’s chest pressing against him as he squeezed his arm around his shoulder and neck and rested his jaw just behind his ear. He immediately felt the muscles in his chest and legs tighten like they were just hit by an electric shock, but they didn’t relax. If it was Taehyung, he would’ve relaxed. He would’ve felt that familiar flutter beneath his rib cage, the kind that made his heart beat faster and his blushing append heat to his neck, but he couldn’t feel that with Jungguk. At least, not anymore. He felt it once, just once, but that was before Taehyung held his hand. That was before he realized how warm Taehyung could be.

 

Jungguk breathed against his ear and held him tighter when Hoseok made a weak attempt of freeing himself.

 

“You can’t handle everything on your own” he spoke gently against the back of his neck. He was right, he couldn’t do this alone, but he couldn’t do this with Jungguk either. He pushed against him and this time, Jungguk complied, prepared to hear whatever kind of argument he had to give.

 

“I know, but this is different. I _have_ to do this on my own, okay? I don’t have any other choice.”

 

Jungguk stared at him for what felt like the longest time before stepping away and looking at him with sad daggers in his eyes before saying in a harsh but quivering tone, “You don’t know who he _really_ is, do you?” The whole world seemed to be frozen for a moment. His words resonated in the air and clung to Hoseok’s thoughts like leeches in a desperate attempt to get him to understand what Jungguk meant, but they couldn’t wrap his mind around it.

 

“What do you mean?” He dared to ask. He wasn’t sure whether it was really a good time to find out what Taehyung might’ve been hiding from him from anyone other than Taehyung himself, but he was willing to roll the dice.

 

“He’s got a secret that you won’t like. I didn’t like it either when I found out, but I’m used to it. I don’t know how you’ll react to it, but I bet it won’t be good.” Jungguk stepped a little closer to Hoseok, just enough to be a little more out in the open and away from the headlights so Hoseok didn’t go blind trying to read his expression. “You might even hate him. You might yell at him. Knowing you, the results are easily predictable. I can’t tell you his secret without revealing mine, but I can tell you that that boy you heard on the phone has blood on his hands, and a lot of it.” Jungguk swiftly stepped into his car and turned off the engine. The headlights flickered to black and Hoseok was left standing in the dark.

 

_He’s turning against us!_

 

_Stop! He’s trying to help us!_

 

_Is no one else wondering what his ‘secret’ is? I swear, I’m surrounded by complete idiots._

 

_He also said that Taehyung has a lot of blood on his hands. Did he kill someone? Hobi, you need to be careful. We don’t know if it’s true. You may think that you know Taehyung, but what if Jungguk’s right? What if he’s someone completely different?_

 

_You felt his hand that day in the rain._

 

Hoseok could remember the rain. It was pouring cats and dogs and all he could do was seek shelter beneath the studio roof. He had to stand there in the freezing cold, scrambling for his phone so he could call Namjoon and ask him if he could come pick him up. He had walked a little ways away from the dormitory without any trouble, but now that it was pouring he couldn’t walk back and needed a ride. He had his phone in his hands, but they were shaking from the cold and they felt so dry that it was almost as though they would crack and crumble apart, so one can imagine the struggle it took to scroll through his contacts and dial Namjoon’s number.

 

The air smelled like petrichor and the rain clattered against the cold sidewalk. It dripped from the edges of the roof and splashed in front of Hoseok’s feet, forming puddles in the cracks of the pavement. People rushed with their umbrellas, some didn’t seem to mind it, and others just stood beneath the shelter of their roofs with their cigarettes and plastic chairs. Some looked around at people, watching them as though they were skittering mice, and drew puffs from the cigarettes resting between their fingers, their faces nonvolatile.  The sky was too grey with clouds to make out any sun and it almost seemed to stretch on forever. Hoseok pressed the phone against his ear and listened to the long dialing tones. His feet danced with his impatience, catching the attention of a few watching passerbys.

 

It felt like it would ring forever, but he was greeted with an automatic voicemail box. He hung up and tried a second time thinking that maybe Namjoon was just a little busy and might answer the phone if he called twice, but he was met with the same result. He groaned out loud and hung up before pressing the phone back into his pocket. He looked around at the people sitting amongst the street. His head stopped moving about and his feet stopped moving from the cold when he saw someone a little ways down the street from him. The figure was hunched in front of a hotel with his knees pulled up to his chest. He was squatting with a hood pulled over his head so it was difficult to make out his face, but he seemed lean and tall. He could make out light brown hair poking out from under his hood and his upper arms were resting on his knees, leaving the rest of his upper limbs to dangle in front of him.

 

He was carrying a backpack and had his phone out. It seemed as though he was trying to take a photo of the rain from a low angle, but he didn’t seem to be moving much. Every now and then he would change position so that he was either leaning to one side or the other, or aiming his camera slightly more towards the sky to catch the falling droplets, and Hoseok watched in fascination. The boy was wearing black sweatpants and adidas sneakers and he was barely sheltered from the rain. He looked like he might have known his way around a little more than Hoseok, so he stepped out from the dripping roof and into the freezing rain. He walked hastily with nothing but his cold hand to protect his head. He weaved passed bustling bodies trying to cover themselves and jogged to take refuge beneath the boy’s short roof. There was barely enough standing space, but that didn’t stop the boy from continuing to squat.

 

“Excuse me!” Hoseok nearly shouted over the sound of the pitter-patter. The boy turned to look at him with a sharp snap of his head. He didn’t move from his position, just glanced at him before looking back at his phone. Although Hoseok didn’t have the best facial recognition skills, he could have sworn that in that short glance he could recognize the person he was speaking to, he just didn’t know where he had seen him before since he was given such a short time. The voice was familiar as well, almost soft and chirping but also deep as though it came from the pit of his chest. It made Hoseok’s mind fumble for words.

 

“Do you need something?” The voice said from behind the hood.

 

“Do you know where the bus stop is?” The boy took a moment to pause and put away his phone. His head turned to look down the street as though he was searching for something before he stood up and turned to Hoseok so he could get a full view of his face. His face was pale but handsome, his eyes were a fierce brown that seemed to burrow into Hoseok’s gaze, his chin was square but rounded at the edges, bringing out his jawline that caved into his ears that were partially hidden behind the tips of his hair, he had a long bridge between the arches of his upper lip that made his lips look soft and friendly, he had a thick neck and a broad set of shoulders, but he didn’t seem to be carrying an unusual amount of muscle. He seemed almost soft if it weren’t for his beady eyes and deep voice.

 

He knew that face. He had seen it before and yet, it was just the hair and the clothes that he didn’t recognize. The boy turned and pointed down towards the end of the street. He was standing now and he had to stand close to Hoseok so that he didn’t catch water on his hoodie. His neck stretched so he could lean slightly into Hoseok to be sure that he was following his directions with his eyes, but it was difficult for Hoseok to pay attention to what he was saying due to the awkward intimacy. He explained in such a casual but warm tone.

 

“Just go straight down, take a right, then keep going and you should see the sign.” His hands were motioning with his every word and Hoseok couldn’t help but to stare at them. He had the hands of a musician...just like him. The boy turned to him to see if he had caught everything he had just said, but before he could say anything, his face turned to one of surprise. His eyes almost looked like full moons and they didn’t seem as threatening anymore.

 

“Wait a second, Jung Hoseok? From high school?” His voice completely changed into a more chirping tone, but that didn’t make it any less sexier. Hoseok, however, was no longer paying attention to how the man sounded or his appearance. He stopped for a moment and really looked at him.

 

“Kim Taehyung?!”

 

_And then you went to go out and ate together to catch up and ended up holding his hand when he was running to show you his graffiti wall, remember?_

 

_Yeah, that was also the first time I fell for him._

 

_What if he’s right?! What if you’re in love with some kind of murderer! What then?_

 

_I have to talk to him. I have to know if it’s true._

 

_And if it is?_

 

_Then I’ll listen to his side of the story._

 

_And if he murdered in cold blood?_

 

_I don’t know….I have to think about it._

 

So he got back in his car, turned on the engine, and rolled cautiously onwards.

 


	22. Empty Shells

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yoongi and Namjoon arrive at the warehouse while Jimin suddenly realizes who exactly is waiting for them outside. All that Yoongi wants to know is who is the third figure who isn't standing outside waiting with the rest?

The car rolled up to a large abandoned warehouse. The rotting building had to be about four stories high with a sad excuse for walls and all the windows had been covered using planks and nails. The whole place looked shady and crooked as hell, but none of that stopped Yoongi from looking towards Namjoon to be sure that he was ready. During the car ride, he had been given plenty of time to think things through without going crazy. They needed to find an entrance and get inside before being spotted and once they did, they would split so Namjoon had the upper floors while Yoongi would search the first and second. Their goal was to find Jimin without being seen by either Jinsong or anyone else who could have been lurking about. 

 

Namjoon was barely even visible in the darkness, since they had their headlights switched off and the engine shut so they wouldn’t make any noise, but Yoongi could make out his eyes in the small hint of moonlight. A low rumble came from a distance that threatened rain. It was low, but Yoongi knew that it had to be thunder. 

 

_ Good. The storm will give us cover. _

 

He had his gun in his boot and his knife shoved into his back pocket. He sheathed it upon exiting the car and began making a map of the whole place in his head. It was dark, but he could make out the outlines of the decaying walls and roof. The entrance was a rusty metal door beneath a wooden plank that he guessed had to have been meant to shelter one from the weather, but it was so small that it couldn’t do much.

 

_ The upper floors seem less sturdy than the lower. I’ll have to watch my head. _

 

He looked back towards Namjoon and pulled out a flip phone from his front pocket to show him that they had a way of contact. Namjoon patted his pocket to let him know that he understood and could contact him if he needed help. They looked back up at the building. A second growl of thunder came, only closer this time and louder. It was like a lion was stealthily approaching them and they were ready to kill it. The wooden walls and siding were severely damaged by rain and weeds. The grass was tall, making it a perfect method of camouflage. The darkness made the door leading inside ominous with not even so much as a window to expose what could be lurking on the other side. It was covered in scratch marks, dirt stains, and the handle was round and chipped. 

 

They slowly crept up to the entrance, using the grass as cover, and as their feet sank into the mud and soil with every step, they found gravel and began making their way closer. There was a porch light just above the door, but it had been shattered and pieces were still lying about the bushes and shrubs. The scent of rotting wood clouded Yoongi’s mind. Thunder rolled a third time, threatening a close approach, before Namjoon turned the handle. He turned it once, then twice, and then a third time but with more force, but the door wouldn’t budge. Even as he pushed and pulled, it mocked them with it’s stubbornness. They both sighed and backed away slightly. Namjoon thought that that was that and they would have to find another way in, but Yoongi wasn’t having any of it.

 

He rammed his foot into the door like he was kicking Jinsong’s head in and made a dent. He kicked it again and again. It wasn’t like breaking down a wooden door, which would take a lot less effort, so it required more force. It took countless blows before the door was so beaten that the shaft completely broke off and the security plate went flying with it. Namjoon couldn’t say he was impressed by this action, since they were making more noise than necessary, but he did admire Yoongi’s determination. He understood it as well. The sound of Yoongi’s foot hitting the door was similar to a gunshot, only the sound of the shell hitting the floor couldn’t be heard until he succeeded at breaking it.

 

He knew that sound. He heard it. He hated it. He could remember the first time it had ever reached him. It was his birthday and he was turning ten years old. His dad was a businessman who didn’t come home until late at night and left early in the morning and his mother was usually busy working on scripts, so it was usually just Namjoon and Minie. They had friends over that day to play, they ate and sang and enjoyed a delicious cake topped with candles. Their mother made dinner, but their father was working late that night and couldn’t make it. They played games and watched Namjoon’s favorite show. His little brother was seven and he was so small and skinny that Namjoon often referred to him as ‘little peanut.’ 

 

The day was over and everyone had gone home. The night was quiet with nothing but the streetlights to illuminate Namjoon’s bedroom walls. Everyone was asleep, as he would have imagined, and he was closing his eyes. He wanted to drift into sleep and wake up the next morning and go to the amusement park with his dad and Minie, when something made a noise downstairs. It was startling enough at first to make Namjoon shoot up into a sitting position and listen. It sounded like a pot or pan had fallen over in the kitchen, but the reason why was the bigger issue. Mini’s bedroom was across from his. His parent’s room were just down the hall, to the left of the bathroom, so no one was supposed to be downstairs. He quickly opened his drawer and got out his Sonic flashlight.

 

He tiptoed towards his door and opened it cautiously. The darkness made the hallway seem eerie, the silence made the sound of the floorboards creaking creepy. He peeked his head out from behind the door to see if anyone was there, but found no one. He was scared to leave his bedroom, but he wanted to see if Minie was still asleep, so he crept across the hallway and slowly opened his brother’s bedroom door. He peeked in silently and glanced towards his bed. The bed was empty except for a bundle of blue bed sheets, but the pillow was headless, leaving Namjoon to wonder where his brother wandered off to so late at night. The nightlight was still on, exposing his brother’s Power Ranger collection and train set. 

 

Minie always liked trains because they could go really fast and they could take you anywhere, at least, according to his definition. He closed the door and looked down the hallway towards his parent’s room. The door was closed and the light was off, indicating that they were both asleep. His dad had a habit of leaving the door open every morning and his mom would have to close it, so he definitely couldn’t have been downstairs. That meant that Minhyuk had gone wandering off alone. That was enough to worry Namjoon, so the floorboards creaked once or twice more as he walked down the hallway and made his way towards the staircase which lead to the living room. He slowly made his way down, for the bottom of the stairs was pitch dark which terrified him to say the least, and held onto the railing as his bare feet crept down every step. 

 

The third to final step always creaked, so he made sure to avoid it at all cost. He made it to the bottom of the stairs before glancing around. There was no one in sight. The streetlight soaked through the room and revealed the couch, TV, and his mom’s armchair. The rug, the lamp, the phone -everything was in its rightful place. Namjoon then crept towards the archway leading into the kitchen. The kitchen was facing away from the street, so it was too dark to see anything. He decided that now was the time to turn on his flashlight and search around for the source of the loud noise. He switched it on and shined it towards the opposite wall when something moved from the corner of his eye. He quickly shifted to the right with a startle and saw a black figure hide behind the pantry door.

 

It looked small enough to be Minhyuk, which relieved Namjoon. Namjoon began to walk towards the pantry when he noticed that one of the pots that was once on the stove had fallen flat onto the floor, a device laying beside it. Namjoon couldn’t make out what the device was until he picked it up and felt it’s cold metal in his hands. 

 

_ A gun. A real gun with real bullets. What is this doing here? _

 

He glanced up towards the pantry and immediately knew that something had to be wrong here. Why would Minhyuk have a gun and why would he just leave it in the middle of the floor like that? Why did he knock over the pot? He crept cautiously towards the pantry door, making sure to keep his eye on it in case it were to close. The only light in the room was his flashlight which shook in his hands. He called out to his brother, thinking it would calm him.

 

“This isn’t funny, Minie!” Nothing moved. He crept even closer until was was just behind the pantry door. He cautiously aimed his gun into the pantry and shined his flashlight to exterminate the blinding darkness. There was no one inside, not even a mouse. He crept inside to be sure that Minie wasn’t hiding on one of the top shelves on either side, but when he shined his flashlight towards the highest shelves, no one could be seen. That was when something slammed from behind him and the entire room was so dark that without his flashlight, he would have been hopeless. He quickly spun around and realized what was happening. He was just trapped inside. 

 

He didn’t dare drop his flashlight, but his gun hit the floor like a neglected toy. He started knocking on the door and screaming for his brother to get him out. 

 

“Stop it, Minie! Let me out! It’s too dark in here! I just wanna go to bed, so get me out now!” But his demands didn’t seem to reach the person on the other side until about a minute later. He heard it. It was faint but it was clear enough for him to feel a shock of nerves run down his spine. It sounded like someone struggling to break free of something, but he wasn’t sure what it was. He just knew that it had to be Minhyuk and someone was trying to restrain him, but he didn’t know whether or not his assumptions were false. There was the sound of creaking floorboards, a muffled whimper, and heavy footsteps. This was when Namjoon realized that he and Minhyuk were not alone. The footsteps gradually crescendoed and stopped in front of the pantry door. 

 

Namjoon stumbled to grab the gun and backed up so far against the wall that he hit one of the shelves and caused some of the snacks to topple onto the floor. He knew that the person behind the door must have known that he was in there. He knew that at any moment, they were gonna open the door and take him too, so he unsteadily lifted the gun so that it was pointing towards the door and closed his eyes. He was scared and confused. His hands and legs were shaking and his throat clenched after every short and panicked breath. The door eventually opened, revealing only a small amount of light coming in from the window near the front door, and Namjoon didn’t wait another moment before squeezing the trigger.

 

The sound blistered his ears as it screamed through the pantry walls and echoed throughout the house. The gun kicked backwards aggressively, causing Namjoon to lose his balance and fall back against the shelf. He hit his head against the dark wood and fell to the floor within just a second. The room had completely blacked out and the last thing he felt before waking up was the small trickle of blood that left his skull. He awoke in the hospital after having been in a coma for two days when he was told that he was lucky to still have his memories. The injury kept him in the hospital for another day before he was released and given a prescription for recovery. He felt numb. He knew that he had taken someone’s life that night, but he didn’t dare talk about it. On their way to the supermarket one morning, Namjoon and his mother passed by a police officer who was standing on the street to catch any trouble makers.

 

He had always kind of wanted to become a police officer, simply because he wanted to uphold justice, but after seeing that gun strapped securely to his hip, his heart sagged. Just the thought of guns made his stomach twist. When they arrived back home from the supermarket, Namjoon ran into Minie’s room to see him, only to find that it had been left just the way it was before. Namjoon turned to his mother, who was standing behind him asking him what he was doing, and said, “What happened to Minie?” Namjoon had never seen his mother cry. Her bottom lip quivered at first and her eyes glossed over, but he quickly let her gaze fall to the floor and a tear rolled down her rosey cheek. She fell to her knees and held him so tightly that he was sure he would run out of air. She told him what happened that night in the pantry.

 

An intruder had come into their home and attempted to kidnap Minhyuk when Namjoon came downstairs. The intruder was startled by his interruption, but decided that he wanted to take the both of them. Just before Namjoon had crept in, the intruder had picked up Minie from behind, who was trying to grab a glass of water, and Minie kicked the pot off of the stove in surprise. The intruder dropped his gun while Mini struggled and had to proceed without it. When the intruder heard Namjoon inside the pantry, he didn’t know that his gun was missing, so he opened the door thinking that he could just pick up Namjoon and run off with the both of them, but Namjoon fired the intruder’s gun. What Namjoon didn’t realize in that moment was that the intruder had Minhyuk in his arms.

 

Namjoon didn’t shoot the intruder that night and his whole body ached when he heard those quivering words escape from his mother’s lips against his ear. He could remember the way the rain felt as it slapped against his black tuxedo. His brother’s casket was being carried towards the cemetery for burial, a framed image of his school photo placed in Namjoon’s hands as though it were a sacred treasure. He carried it all the way to where the grave had been dug and he watched silently as Minie was lowered into the ground. He clutched the photograph like it was the only thing he had left and wept quietly until his eyes couldn’t produce any more tears. He wept as the choir sang, he wept through the faces of pity greeting him and his parents with handshakes and empty words, he wept through the silent car ride home, and even as he entered his brother’s room and slept in his cold bed sheets, there were still tears flowing down his cheeks.

 

Even though the culprit was still yet to be found, he had never felt so guilty of anything in his entire life.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Jimin was behind Jinsong as they made their way through the narrow halls. It seemed as though the warehouse had once been a school, but was turned into a warehouse later on and then abandoned. Well, it was occupied  _ now.  _ They were hunched like scared cats but they were ready for when someone were to pop around the corner. Jimin decided that this was a good time to think about where Yoongi might have been be right then. He wanted to reach behind him and feel Yoongi’s hand there, pressing into his palm and filling him with warmth despite his cold fingers. The air was frigid and damp and they had now entered an area of the warehouse where the electricity had been cut out. Jinsong luckily had his flashlight with him (he came prepared) and wasn’t afraid to shine it through their way around back. 

 

The ceiling had cracks and leaks that sent cold streams of water splashing on their heads. This wasn’t a very good place to hideout, but it was probably a one-time-use for Hyeonggo and Taehyung. It was strange saying those two names together like Taehyung was the same as Hyeonggo, but in this case, he had to have had a reason to conspire with him. Jimin never thought that Yoongi’s best friend would turn out to be one of his kidnappers. That was when Jimin made a horrible realization that sent an electric shock through his heart, stopping it temporarily.

 

_ It wasn’t Jinsong that was in the passenger’s seat. _

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


 

Yoongi had realized something as he was poking around on the first floor. As he was searching through what looked like large, empty, and abandoned classrooms, he spotted a figure standing outside. He stuck his head out so he could make out as much of the figure as possible, but from what he could tell, it wasn’t Jinsong. There was someone else standing there. Yoongi stared for a moment, wondering what it was he was supposed to do, when as he was looking away, another figure approached the first in an anxious manner. It seemed as though both of them were conversing about something, but he couldn’t tell what and it was too dark to identify the two men, but he knew that they had to be accomplices. 

 

As he was watching the two men, he heard a sound from down one of the hallways. He whipped around and crouched to the floor, making sure his flip phone was secure in his pocket. He took a moment to glance down the pitch dark hallway before slowly creeping forward to see if he could get a better look at whatever the source of the noise might have been. He leaned near the edge of the opposite wall and took cover before looking again, just to be sure that it wasn’t Jinsong or any other possible accomplices that may have been lurking around. He pulled out his gun from his boot and cocked it. He listened to the sound of the cracking metal as he prepared to turn and see who might have been there. He swiftly stretched his arm in front of him so that the gun was aiming down the hallway and turned his body so that he was crouched, but facing where the suspect may be.

 

As he pulled out, he saw a black figure run across the hall uneasily. It looked to be a man that was slightly taller than Yoongi, which made him jolt alarmingly. He idled for a moment, thinking of whether or not it was Namjoon who possibly wandered downstairs, but he was always one to have the sharpest of all focus, so if it wasn’t him, it had to have been someone working for Jinsong, otherwise he had no clue. He decided to make the first move and crept steadily towards the dark wall where the man fled. He had his gun ready and he was trying to be as light on his toes as possible, but it was too dark to be sure he was stepping in the right places. Just as Yoongi was about to attack the man, the man jumped at him and pressed him against the opposite wall.

 

His back hit the wood so hard that it nearly knocked the wind out of him and he felt strong hand clasp around his throat, cutting off his windpipe. He struggled for just a moment before realizing who the stranger was.

 

“J-Hope?!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't update as much due to being so busy, so I'll try to write as much as I can and as often as I can. Thank you to everyone who had kept up with the story so far (: I promise I'm gonna bring back the romance around the next chapter or so. Thank you for pulling through everything that has happened in the climax so far since I know it's a little confusing. I hope you enjoyed!


	23. Can You Hear The Crickets?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Who were the two figures standing outside?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for not updating in over two weeks. I had a lot of stuff to take care of, but I'm back now! I couldn't make this chapter very long and it may be just a little bit messy, but I hope you enjoy nonetheless! Thank you for being patient (:

Hoseok stared at the man whose neck was being trapped by his hands. There were glints of surprise in his voice, like the man was confused as to why Hoseok was attacking him, but he recognized the voice. It took him a moment to retrace where he had heard it in his mind, but his memory didn’t let him down.

 

“Suga?!” he exclaimed. It was too dark to tell whether or not it was really him, but his voice was unmistakably the same. He released Yoongi from his grip and gave him a moment to gasp for air. Yoongi coughed once before swallowing hard and taking in a long breath.

 

“What are you doing here?!” Yoongi’s voice sounded confused.

 

“I’d like to ask you the same thing!” Yoongi’s gasps turned into small pants.

 

“You can’t be here,” he said whilst swallowing, “It’s dangerous. I’ll explain later, but you’ve got to go!” Hoseok felt something snap into him and he looked at Yoongi’s dark shadow in front of him with uncertainty and fear, but he was determined to find out what was going on.

 

“Where’s Taehyung?” He half-whispered. Yoongi regained himself all of a sudden and looked at him with two gaping holes for eyes as though he were a ghost trapped in a moment of bewilderment.

 

“What do you mean?” The question hung in the air for a solid second or two. Hoseok became even more uncertain than before.

 

“He called me and it sounded like he needed help. He sent me this location and I came here as soon as I could.” Yoongi stopped breathing for a second to think.

 

_Taehyung disappeared after the accident. His phone was off when I tried to call him in the car earlier. Does that mean…_

 

_No!_

 

Yoongi’s head shot up and he could already feel the tension rising from his toes to the hair on the top of his head.

 

“Jinsong must have caught him! God damn it!” And with that, Yoongi’s fist was against the hard wall. The noise wasn’t too pleasant since he had punched the wall so hard that one of his knuckles cracked, but the rage that made the back of his neck heat up like a hot stove was even more unpleasant. He wished that the wall was Jinsong’s face and as Hoseok idled behind him nervously, still trying to figure out what was going on, he wanted to scream in anger, but he wasn’t going to let his temper be his downfall. They still had to remain unseen and it wasn’t just them now. Everyone seemed to be involved like it was some kind of sick and twisted game.

 

“Suga…” Hoseok spoke cautiously from behind him. Yoongi turned around to look down the hall at the two figures who were still standing outside. He imagined that one of them had to be Jinsong and the other was some kind of accomplice. He listened as Hoseok continued, “...I don’t think Taehyung was taken against his will.” Yoongi shot him a glance that made his eyes seem like they could spit fire. His thoughts were unorganized, unpredictable, volatile, and painful. They were so full of anger and confusion and lust that he had forgotten that Hoseok was also there for a reason. He knew what Hoseok meant and he was too close to Taehyung to believe one syllable of it. His eyes grew in anger and it was easy to tell that he wasn’t willing to accept something so preposterous, yet terribly true.

 

“He wouldn’t do that! Why the hell would he team up with the one guy that we’ve been trying to take down for months?!” His voice was a harsh and raspy whisper, but it was filled with outburst. He couldn’t help but to feel a sense of dread towards the idea, but he didn’t want one of his closest friends to become his enemy.

 

_It isn’t true, right? You’re not doing this to hurt me, are you? You just made a mistake. You slipped up and ended up in Jinsong’s custody. There’s no way. Absolutely zero chance._

 

_Big en, big oh._

 

Hoseok looked down the hallway and seemed to have spotted the two standing figures for the first time. The hallway felt long and dark and it didn’t feel right to be standing in a place like this, but seeing those dark shadows being casted together as they idled beyond the extent of their hearing sparked some realization in the both of them.

 

_Okay, if there is even the slightest chance that Taehyung was making some sort of team with Jinsong, then…._

 

_Then…_

 

He gulped and it seemed as though Hoseok was just as nervous judging by the way his breaths suddenly became panicked as he turned towards the other end of the hallway.

 

_One of those figures is Taehyung._

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


The night sky made the cigarette hanging out of Hyeonggo’s mouth look like a campfire. Seeing the smoke rise up from between his lips made him think of Yoongi, but those thoughts were quickly erased from his mind when Hyeonggo began speaking.

 

“He should be here by now.” The crickets were quiet tonight. One of them would sing every now and then, but they were mostly silent. The air was colder than Taehyung had imagined. His coat was barely thick enough to keep out the freezing temperatures, but spring was supposed to be on its way soon.

 

_When spring comes, all of this will be over. Just wait a little longer, Hobi. When the spring comes, I’ll take you out on walks._

 

_I’m sorry._

 

_I can’t have you if he keeps taking you away._

 

Taehyung turned to Hyeonggo with an empty expression on his face. The thought of killing anyone made him numb. He didn’t feel afraid or guilty, but it felt as though it would never be as exciting as the first. He had killed his love the first time, now he just wanted to clear out everything that was in the way. He wouldn’t let his love die this time.

 

_Or ever again._

 

“Patience is key.” They both fell silent with the crickets. Hyeonggo took one long drag from his cigarette before gazing up at the night sky. There were too many clouds to see the stars and it was sure to rain soon, but they stood together hoping that Hoseok would arrive in time before the downpour. Thunder growled above their heads and Hyeonggo smirked at the sky.

 

“Looks like it all ends tonight” he remarked happily. He didn’t seem as serious as Taehyung and it was obvious that he was enjoying himself. He had his ex-boyfriend tied up in the warehouse with Jinsong to look after him, he was gonna close the deal by killing Jungguk, and he was more than eager to go back into the warehouse to finish off Jimin.

 

“You’re absolutely sure that they’re the right ones?” Although it wasn’t his place exactly to question Hyeonggo, Taehyung still needed to be sure that they were doing the right thing and not just pursuing their greed. Hyeonggo dropped the cigarette on the ground and crushed it beneath his foot. He twisted his foot from side to side as the light from the still burning ashes died and he glanced at Taehyung with a look of certainty in his eyes.

 

“Jimin died that day. I had him in my arms! He wasn’t breathing, no pulse, nothing! Hoseok died in the hospital from his wounds and you know what happened after the accident.” Taehyung still couldn’t believe it. Hyeonggo wanted to kill all three of them: Jimin, Hoseok, and Yoongi alike, but the one he wanted the most was the one he fell in love with, only it didn’t look like it was love anymore. He would kill Jimin just because Jimin wasn’t exactly _alive._

 

It kind of sickened him.

 

“When we see him, hide in the warehouse and let me do the talking” Taehyung said as he grabbed the knife from his pocket and sliced both of his ankles without hesitation. It didn’t even hurt as much as he thought it would. All he could feel was the vibrations his veins made as they popped and split open like strings being cut loose. The blood that soon followed was a viscous crimson that oozed down to his heels and spilled onto the grass. The grass reached up to his knees and if Taehyung walked a little farther towards the woods, it would go up to his waist, but he wasn’t planning on hiding anytime soon. He knew that this was where he was going to have to find a way to restrain Hoseok and lure Jungguk in, but he wasn’t sure whether he was going to be able to do it.

 

He used the knife to slice his cheek, leaving a nasty cut that bleed all the way down to his neck. He rolled in the grass to make it look like he had recently struggled on the ground, made streaks of dirt along his jaw and upper neck using his fingertips, and even smashed the lower portion of his face against the side of the warehouse to get a busted lip. Although it took him a while, he finally received a nod from Hyeonggo who then walked into the warehouse and disappeared into the shadows.

 

Now, he just had to wait. He idled awkwardly for a few moments as the crickets rose up in song once more. He could barely stand due to his ankles throbbing, but he tried to remain still. He soon heard something snap from behind him and immediately whipped around, thinking that Hyeonggo had come back due to his impatience, but a wave of terror washed over him once he saw the face he loved so much peer through the shadows and look at him as though they were enemies.

 

“Tae?” The voice was shaky, but he knew whose it was.

 

_I can’t do it._

 

His feet acted before his mind, before Hoseok could even speak, before the crickets could rise in song again, and within a flash of blurry confusion, Taehyung had his body pressed against Hoseok’s and his arms enveloped him and squeezed him closer. Something stung within his chest. It felt impossible for it to be there and yet it made the lining of his eyes burn with hot tears.

 

_Why does it hurt so much?_

 

He could feel himself let out a small sob.

 

_This wasn’t supposed to happen. I’m supposed to be tying him up now or finding a way to knock him unconscious without hurting him too badly, but I can’t do it._

 

Hoseok stood still for a moment, the heat of Taehyung’s body pushed against him making his thoughts cloudy, but his shock turned into terror when he realized why Taehyung was holding him.

 

_I’m so sorry. I’m so so sorry._

 

Taehyung pressed his cheek against the side of Hoseok’s head, the blood from his cut mixing with hair and he couldn’t help but smell the scent of the one person he loved in this world. This world that made him into a killer had given him something to care for and it hurt him so badly to see that gift sharing feelings with someone other than himself. He sobbed into Hoseok’s shoulder and felt as two hands touched him so dearly. Both of Hoseok’s arms had reached below his and were now wrapped around his torso. He felt Hoseok’s fingers rub against his upper back, just between his shoulder blades, while the other pressed against his side, but those strong arms that Hoseok possessed and wrapped around him so gently was what made him want to fall to his knees and bring Hoseok tumbling down with him so that they could lay there forever.

 

The moment was so warm and wonderful despite the cold air. He held Eunbi this way too when they were in high school. When he didn’t want to see her go, but he had to and it only hurt more when he eventually did. After that, the love he felt for her turned into greed and that greed into hatred. He couldn’t forgive her for turning into someone he couldn’t recognize anymore and it confused him, but this was Hoseok. This was different. It was the same Hoseok he had always known, only he had eyes for Jungguk.

 

“Are you okay?” Hoseok’s breath felt amazing against his skin, but it also made the pain worse. Why was it that he was suddenly feeling this now after all of this time of feeling nothing of the sort? After killing Lee Eunbi, he couldn’t feel pain anymore, but now he could and it was terrible, amazing, satisfying, and unbearable all at once. He had never felt this sort of combination of emotions before. Seeing Hoseok peer through those shadows, say his name, looking at him as though he didn’t know who he was -it reminded him of her.

 

“I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I didn’t mean to turn against you. It just hurts so much now that everyone is gone.” Taehyung pulled away slightly, but only to cup Hoseok’s face in his hands and touch their foreheads together. He choked on his own words, but they came out eventually and when they did, the tears ran like rivers along his cheeks and mixed with his own blood.

 

“You’re all I have left now.”


End file.
